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  5. Husband/Partners response to your pregnancy? Not what you expected..

Husband/Partners response to your pregnancy? Not what you expected.. Rss

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and it was planned so we were both happy although a little freaked out (being our first).
Since finding out I'm pregnant it doesn't feel like hubby shows much interest or excitement about the whole thing. He comes to my appointments and still treats me the same way, but he doesn't do the 'excited daddy' type things, like he never rubs my belly or talks about the baby, he doesn't ask me questions about my pregnancy. It's a really important time in our lives and I want him to enjoy it, and perhaps he is, but he just doesn't show it! I've talked to him about it and he said he just isn't sure how to react since the baby isn't in his body he doesn't really feel like it's really there yet.
Has anyone else had this? It's just a bit of a downer.

my husband was like this for a while. it just didnt seem real to him. when he started feeling baby kick he started getting a bit more excited about it but not as much as i thought he should be. but as soon as DS was born he was just so excited and he is the best daddy ever.

my partners the same, Im 15 weeks pregnant and to him not much has changed with us except my belly. This is our first also and was planned. I was getting worried too until i asked my dp sister and she said its just because of the way men are. I know hes excited because of the little things like when we went shopping for baby stuff to buy he helped pick a lot of stuff.

Yep was exactly the same for us. A planned pregnancy. At first I thought his reservation was because I'd previously miscarried and he didn't want to get his hopes up. He cried at the 12 week scan, probably out of relief that everything was ok. I think he was a bit excited throughout the pregnancy but he was very clueless about fathering, worried about how it would affect our relationship etc and often didn't seem overly affection or interested. He got annoyed when I put his hand on my belly to feel the kicks, only did it a few times voluntarily. I think he was disappointed when we discovered it was a girl at our 20 week scan. He was smitten when she was born, but we had a rough start to parenting and neither of us really bonded well with DD until she was a couple of months old - I often worried about DH but he came around and now he's an awesome Dad. It's really a different experience for men, but I wouldn't be too concerned yet smile

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Thanks! Glad to hear this is very normal. Makes me feel much better about it.

Yeah DH is a bit like that, ours was planned, and he comes to all the scans and Dr appointments but he said to me that he wanted to find out the sex so he could have a better image in his mind about what was to come, help him bond and all that.

Totally agree with the quote that woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, but a man becomes a father once its born. So true, I guess it is really hard for them to believe its happening, as it is even sort of hard for me to believe even though I am growing, seeing bub in the scans and have been feeling kicks and jabs etc. Also doesn't help that when she is kicking if he puts his hand on my belly, she stops so has only felt it a couple of times.

Skubala in all honesty I think DH was also a bit disappointed when we found it we were having a girl, even though he said that he didn't care as long as she was healthy and definitely did sound sincere. He was just always referring to bub as a he and talking about what he and his son would do together, sorta glad we found out at 20 weeks it was a girl so he didn't have that in his head the whole time. I know that sounds terrible and am soooo grateful that we have a healthy bub but yeah couldn't get that thought out of my head about how much DH wanted a son.

And my DH doesn't have to ask questions about the pregnancy, it's all I pretty much talk about now lol so he cant help but hear about it.

Sounds like our guys are pretty normal and I'm sure he and your DH will come around a bit more when they grow bigger and once they are born, good luck.

It totally changes your and your husband's life! But it worth it

Best wishes, World Center of Baby

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