Lost and scared

Our first baby due to be induced in a week (at 37 weeks) due to cholestasis, and i'm terrified. I'm scared of the labour and i don't know how to look after a baby but i can't stand to be pregnant any longer because i feel so useless and the cholestasis itching is driving me insane.

I had such a good and easy pregnancy up until the last 4 weeks and i feel like i shouldnt complain but i just feel miserable.

I finished work on friday just gone, and im missing my friends at work and being useful. I cant get my head around not going to work for 12 months. Im not someone that can sit around in coffee shops or go shopping, or sit and natter away with mums clubs. Actually, im not very feminine at all.

Tv is so boring and i cant concentrate on doing anything because of the itching - thankfully much better due to meds, but still just a little bit there.

My husband is trying very hard, but gets controlling when he gets anxious, and is already starting with things like "in future dont leave the pantry door open" or "we need to keep this house much cleaner" (meaning i should)

When i told him they schdduled my induction for next week, he said i should have asked what partners should do, whether he can stay or what he should do. The doc didnt really give me time to ask anything, and honestly, whether my husband should go home and have a nap while im in hospital wasnt really my first question.

I get the feeling nothinf i do with baby or house is going to be right for th next 12 months and i just want to be back doing my job and seeing my friends and not commit to anything like this ever again. How could i be so stupid?

I feel terrible cos everyone is so excited about baby and i just am not. Ive never been a baby person, how can i look after a little person?

Anyone else feel like me? Sorry for the long and negative rant sad

I don't know what to tell you other than I feel for you and hope all goes well. It's a confusing and stressful time for sure, and it's a huge thing to have a first baby and have your life completely change. And it will completely change; there is no way round that. Still, many mums manage to go back to work early and get some semblance of normality back pretty quick.
Don't expect to fall in love straight away with your baby - it took me about 6 weeks each time to one day get that feeling of overwhelming love. Some people get it straight away, but don't worry if you don't. Ask for help if you aren't coping at any time.Talk to your GP if you feel your husband doesn't understand.
Being induced at a set time might help you have some feeling of control. It isn't cut and dried though - I was induced with my last pregnancy and it was almost 3 full days from beginning to end. When you are getting induced so early it can take time to get your body into gear. Your husband can be there for the whole process, although you might want to send him away after a while!!

I am probably not helping at all, but I know that having a baby is an overwhelming process, and while some people will rave about how wonderful and fulfilling it all is, for others it's not so great. I can tell you that after 4 babies I surely wouldn't give any away, and I know I am so blessed, but there have been many times when it has been anything but fun. You just have to take it one day at a time, and I am sure that it time you will feel that your wee one is worth everything you have to give up, and all the changes that come into your life.

Thankyou ddon for your reply, it means a lot. I feel a little more confident today. I appreciate the advice and understanding. Xx

Thankyou ddon for your reply, it means a lot. I feel a little more confident today. I appreciate the advice and understanding. Xx

I agree with the above comment. It could end in a c section so just be prepared for that. With hubby if that is his way normally or not is hard for you, I know. He may be feeling really out of the loop too which could be why he is trying to put demands on you. Things may change once the baby comes. Just make sure that once he walks through the door that he has time to take of his shoes wash hands then TAKE THE BABY!!!
So you can: have a shower, cook dinner, sleep for an hour anything. And if he says"where's dinner?" Try my lovely response "didn't you pick it up?" Or "in the pantry. I/you just have to cook it." Seriously though, when I cooked I made enough for a few meals that could be frozen and reheated without effort ie: tuna mornay (tuna cheesy rice to the kids, spaghetti Bol, or casseroles). Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you.

Hello. Please don't feel bad about it. You are not the only mother to be who feels this way. Pregnancy is exhausting. And people around you don't get it. I know it's going to get better for you. Just try and focus on the good and positive things now. It's going to be worth it when you hold your baby in your arms. Good luck.