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Over sensitive or overly critical? Lock Rss

I don't know if I'm being over senstive about things my husband says or if he's just being mean. I can give a few examples of some of the things he's said over the weekend which are pretty much the type of thing he says all the time:

On Saturday afternoon I was really exhausted so I just had to lie down. He came home (he's currently working six days a week) and I said that I hadn't done dinner as I was too tired but that I had to get up ASAP as Caitlin would need dinner soon. He said okay and went into the kitchen then said "I'll cook but Caitlin will have to wait because I haven't had all day to prepare dinner" so I'm feeling really tired and now like a terrible mother and wife for not having got over it and cooked tea.

Not long after he complained that the kitchen was a mess. Then he repeated it and said that obviously Caitlin had been allowed to just pull everything out all day and he would have to clean it. I got really wild as there were only about four containers out of the drawer which is nothing to what there usually is that I pick up 10 times a day.

The next morning he was in the shower in the ensuite and I was folding and putting away washing in our room. The TV was on but Caitlin was sitting on our bed "reading" books. He got out of the shower and while still in the ensuite said "What's the TV doing on Caitlin? Don't worry I'll turn it off and we can go and play" which just made me feel like the WORST mother using the TV as a babysitter.

Now I know that I have pregnancy hormones racing around making me unreasonable but I do feel that he is being critical of my cooking, cleaning and parenting but behind my back and not openly to my face. He says its not intentional so I've asked him to think before he speaks but its on-going. Is he being mean?

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

Hi Paula

Hopefully hubby is being honest when he says that what he has said to hurt you has been unintentional. My husband is the type of person that occasionally says things that he just doesn't word the right way or doesn't think about how to say things in a tactful way. I just need to remind him what he is doing and he tries to watch what he says. If you feel he is being overly critical perhaps sitting him down and making a time to talk about it will help him to see how much it hurts and how serious you are about it.

It is difficult for men to understand what women go through in pregnancy and how exhausting it can be to run a house and look after children and in your case work a job too when you are busy growing a baby. From your husbands point of view he works all day and comes home maybe hoping to relax and not having to do much. It is probably hard for him to understand how you are feeling and why things may not have been done and how sometimes his help may be needed on those days that you are particularly exhausted.

I am not sure if I am making much sense at all. I just hope that he is able to be a bit more understanding and not be so critical of you.


4 lovely munchkins DD 10/03, DD 03/05, DS 10/06 &

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