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1st Time Dad's Lock Rss

My wife is preg with our first. Is there are a forum for first time fathers etc where we can discuss things. It would be good to talk to others in the same boat as me.

Steve & Kersh

Hi Steve, congratulations! What an exciting time for you both. I did a quick search to see if there were any forums for expecting dads, and you know what ... not one (that I could find)! I can't belileve that. I've sent an email to the forum moderator of this site to see about adding a new section just for Dads, as of corse they're just as important as us mums. In the mean time ... feel free to post any questions/thoughts you may have and perhaps some of our partners could share thair thoughts with you.

Merry Christmas,

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

Hi Kirsty,

Thanks for looking into that for me. Its quite weird at the moment when I stop and think what I am doing .....cruising the baby websites, visiting baby shops, talking babies etc and even posting entries on forums. Basically, I have gone baby-crazy. If I look back even ten months ago I would admit that babies are cute and all, but that was about the extent about it. I guess you can see that the little bump in my wife has turned me linto a ooney. Is this normal? The baby seems to have taken over all my thought patterns etc. My wife assures me this is quite normal and good, but it is kind of full-on.

I thought it might quite nice to talk to others, not necessarily Dad's about becoming a dad for the first time about this and whether anyone else out there has had such a transformation.


Steve & Kersh

LOL, I think it's great you're so involved ... and obviously very excited about the whole experience. I'm sure it's absolutely normal for first time dads to be a little overwhelmed by everything that's going on, and you're doing the right thing by trying to find out as much as possible to be fully prepared for when your bundle of joy arrives - theres nothing wierd about that, and obviously means you're more than ready to become a dad.

When I was pregnant, at about 32 wks we had a parenting class held at the hospital for first time parents. This was really helpful as they covered everything from the labour, emotional changes, bathing & nappy changing & feeding. They also set aside an hour or so for the fathers to go off in a group by themselves and discuss their thoughts and questions about the whole experience which was great. Do you go to the doctors appointments with your wife? If so, perhaps ask if they have any kind of support group like that as we found it really helpful.

As for thinking about it constantly, i guess thats normal too ... (depends on what you're thinking about I spose, good .. bad.. worried .. stressed?), but try not to over analyse everything or you're going to end up a nervous wreck, lol. All I can suggest is to do what you've been doing and prepare yourself with as much info as you can, and just relax, go with the flow and enjoy this wonderful time with your wife during the pregnancy (including going to the 24hr service station at 3am in the morning for that craving she just has to have, lol).

How old are you guys, and when is she due? (If you dont mind me asking).

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

well done steve&kersh! How far along is your wife? My hubby is experiencing similar feeling to you at the moment. We have 2 1/2 weeks left and then he can hold his little bundle of joy. I have a 2yr old and even though hubby was 'daddy' from 6 weeks old this is hubby's first birthing experience. If any questions are needed to be answered just ask. And be very nice to that wife of yours!!! Pamper her, because as you'll find out after the birth she'll deserve it. Good Luck!!! Em xx

Emma, 2 boys 1 on the way and still smiling

Hi again,

Thanks for both replies. To answer Kirsty first, we are 28 & 27 and she is due early April. To answer Em we are only 26 weeks and we still have 15 to go. We went to the midwife today and we start antenatal (spelling?) in Jan. I'm hoping to meet other local fathers to be, so that we can….I guess talk things over from a mans perspective. We have found out we are having a boy, so are no debating over names. I like Finn and Kersha likes Logan. I guess this is just one of the joys you go through. In many ways I am just anxious and I want the little fella out now. I just hope everything goes well. Sorry Kirsty no 24 hour servos round here – we are on a dairy farm. I could go to the milking shed to get her a glass of milk though.

Again thanks for your replies and all the best Em with the impending arrival.


Steve & Kersh

LOL! I can imagine that too. I really like Logan ... what about Logan Finn? I'm sure everything will go fine, 15 weeks will fly by in no time. How's Kersha been through the pregnancy?


Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

Hi Steve & Kersha

My husband and I are in pretty much exactly the same situation as you guys. We're both 28 (well he will in a week) and having our first baby in late March. We don't know what we're having but are having the disputes over names anyway (but we have to argue about boys and girls names). We're also starting classes in January and I think my husband is getting quite keen to learn all he can now. He has even taken a huge interest in how we decorate the baby's room all of a sudden!

I think the best thing I did for my husband was get a book out of the library for first time fathers when I first got pregnant. He read the whole thing (he hasn't read a book in several years so this was amazing) and still quotes bits out of it. My midwife told me yesterday that I may not go to full term because I'm a shortie and the baby will get too big so my husband is now all worried that if we don't finish our classes before I have the baby he's not going to know what to do when I'm in labour. I think I need another trip to the library so he can read up on it again!

Mum to Caitlin & Owain


First of all congradulations!!!!

Not on the huggies forum, but if you go to

you might have some luck


Adina, ACT, 4 years and one on the way

Hi Jaidas Mum,

Thanks for your reply. We decided that we will decide once he is out as to whether he looks like a Logan or a Finn. We have decided his 2nd name will be after my grandfather Gregory, so whether it be Logan or Finn it will sound OK. Kersh has been good, though she did have some morning sickness in the first trimester, but now she is just tired and a bit cranky - this is normal I am told.

15 weeks is not long, but we are just so keen to meet the little fella. Tell me - is it any differrent the 2nd time round, since you are onto your 2nd baby. I guess what i am asking is will i will so googoo over our 2nd baby as I am currently with our first?



Steve & Kersh

Hiya Paula,

Thanks for your message. The more I talk to people, the more I find it is normal for a 'dad to be' to go a bit baby-mad! Its great that your husband is really involved and even moreso is quoting refernces from books. Kersha tried to get me to read a book, but being a dairy farmer and all I don't have much time and when I go to bed I go to sleep straight away. I have to take caffine pills for sex!! Like your hubbie, my biggest fear is that Kersh will go into labour early and I wouldn't know what the hell to do. I think closer to the time I will program all the important no's into the phone, park the car so that we can just gas it out of the house and check in with her all the time to make sure she is all right.

Whereabouts in NZ are you anyhow? Tell your hubbie that it would be good to talk to him via the website. By the way - we are the radio wedding couple - not sure if you followed it in 2003?

Kind regards,


Steve & Kersh

Hi Steve, we're actually not on our second yet ... but have been trying for afew months now - so hopefully soon. I can image it will be just as exciting the second time round, as it would be a completely different experience to the first (you wouldnt have to worry about the unexpected tho cos you've already been through it ... so maybe you'd be abit more relaxed).

Did u guys win a radio wedding comp or something? Sounds interesting ... we've had afew of those over here, like 2 strangers and a wedding ... was it like that? (don't mean to be nosey, would just like to hear about it as I dont think the ones over here went too well, lol)

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

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