I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. But i think Yvette is right. You need to sort out how you really feel and stand up to your partner. My mother had a very overbearing husband as well and sayed with him for 20 years and had six kids with him. He was not a good role model for myself or my other siblings and as we've all grown up my sister has taken on the role my mother had, never speaking up, always "obedient", whereas my mum was starting to see the truth of it all when i was going through my teens and as i have always have been very independant it didn't rub off on me.
My parents have now divorced because my mum finally got the guts to say no more and got out of there. I don't speak to my dad anymore and neither does one of my sisters. I also have a friend who is in a similar relationship with her partner. she has been with him for 5 years and he is always telling her waht to do and stuff and she just does it whether she wants to or not.
I don't know if thats what your relationship is like but you certainly don't want to be bringing up your gorgeous little baby around an attitude like your partners.
Things really change when your baby is born and there is no other greater thing than your child. I don't agree with some of the things my mum does and i let her know about it, she doesn't mind being told how i want my children treated. My mother in law is a different story and she doesn't get left with my children for the simple fact that she always thinks she knows best even if it may be harming my children, however i didn't make that decision until my baby was born. i have another thats 6 weeks away and she won't be babysitting this one either. My husband was not happy about the choice i made in the start but has come to see some of the things she does firsthand and now totally agrees with me. Its a hard thing but it takes time.
Sorry if i've bene harsh or blabbed to much.