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My family is driving me CRAZY!!!!! Lock Rss

Hi,

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. But i think Yvette is right. You need to sort out how you really feel and stand up to your partner. My mother had a very overbearing husband as well and sayed with him for 20 years and had six kids with him. He was not a good role model for myself or my other siblings and as we've all grown up my sister has taken on the role my mother had, never speaking up, always "obedient", whereas my mum was starting to see the truth of it all when i was going through my teens and as i have always have been very independant it didn't rub off on me.

My parents have now divorced because my mum finally got the guts to say no more and got out of there. I don't speak to my dad anymore and neither does one of my sisters. I also have a friend who is in a similar relationship with her partner. she has been with him for 5 years and he is always telling her waht to do and stuff and she just does it whether she wants to or not.

I don't know if thats what your relationship is like but you certainly don't want to be bringing up your gorgeous little baby around an attitude like your partners.

Things really change when your baby is born and there is no other greater thing than your child. I don't agree with some of the things my mum does and i let her know about it, she doesn't mind being told how i want my children treated. My mother in law is a different story and she doesn't get left with my children for the simple fact that she always thinks she knows best even if it may be harming my children, however i didn't make that decision until my baby was born. i have another thats 6 weeks away and she won't be babysitting this one either. My husband was not happy about the choice i made in the start but has come to see some of the things she does firsthand and now totally agrees with me. Its a hard thing but it takes time.

Sorry if i've bene harsh or blabbed to much.
take care
Hey Stephanie,
Well it seems that my mum has settled down on her Emma phase, she hasn't even mentioned it since the birth!
Talana was also 5 days early so she was sort of right there! It turned out that the doctors wanted to induce me, not because it was nearly christmas but because Talana was small. I was supposed to go back for a check-up on the next Saturday to see if i neeeded to be induce and i woke up on the Saturday with contractions and had her the very same day, no inducement needed!
My mum has had other problems though.
She asked me if she could move in the week i bought Talana home to "help" out but i told her it would probably be better if i spent the first week at home with Talana alone with my Fiance so that we could settle in and if i had any problems i would call her. She wasn't very happy with that and still complains about it today!
Also she complianed about my choice to use disposable instead of cloth nappies, saying that it was the "easy" way out!
We had quite a big fight about that and she seems to have settled down a bit now as she can see how happy and adjusted Talana is, so im hoping that with time she might stop being so negative about my techniques of being a mother and will start being happy for me!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Hi Lisa,

Maybe your boyfirend feels like your mother is taking over (even is she isn't) and he might feel like he will be left out once the baby arrives as you have your mum to help you?

I had the same situation but it was my Fiance's mother who came to live with us because she was having problems. I started to feel like she was taking over, doing all the things that i used to do (i think she was trying to help out but i didnt see it that way at the time) and my fiance started to rely on her too much.

I told my Fiance that i wanted her to move out before the baby was born because we had to get used to raising our baby by ourselves and i though tat he might get even more reliant on her.
Now that she has moved out i can (sort of) see where i was wrong, although a lot of our problems were really her fault, like leaving the gas on, leaving the doors unlocked, telling me what i can and cant do (that was the worst one!) and generally being disrespectful to me.

This might not be happening in your situation but it would probably be best to speak to your boyfriend because he might be seeing things and assuming the worst avout your mother even though she is trying to help, i know it would have been easier for me to speak to my fiance and things would not have turned so ugly!

Hope this helps!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Thanks for the update leanne.

I have had a few rude loks from hubbys family about disposable nappys but I guess lots of my views upset them (esp the names we've picked) so I figure I'll just do what Paul and I want and if they want to complain he can deal with it and I can deal with my own crazy family smile

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Thank you so much for all of your advice and kind words. It sort of came to a head last night when we got home from work. Jason likes to feed the cat in our room because he wants her to be sociable. She didn't immediately go running into the room and just sat in the lounge, so Jason said to me your mother has fed the cat!! (We have asked her not to feed the cat in the past). I said there is no way she would have and proceded to ask her about it - she said she hadn't and knows better than to do so. Jason kept saying to me that she is just lying and it all started. He seems adamant to prove that my mother lies. I'm not sure if he wants to drive my mother and I apart so he can have me all to himself or what! It just seems insane. He hates people and has no friends of his own. He really does drive people away because of the way he treats them. I hardly see any of my friends anymore, but have decided that I will make an effort to visit them from now on, just to keep myself sane and not be around Jason 24hrs. I did take your advice to some extent Yvette and tried to stand up to him. I was very good and didn't cry as I usually do, but camly explained that what he said hurt my feelings and that I would not cut my mother out my life and prevent her from seeing her grandchildren. Don't you just love life!!!!!!!! On a brighter note, I am really looking forward to meeting my bub! I'd love to feel more pregnant though - I just feel fat at the moment (16weeks). I guess I'll notice when the bub starts to move. Thanks so much for listening...

Lisa

Lisa, Qld, Mum to be

Good on you Lisa, keep it up and it will only be a couple more weeks until you feel your bump!

Yvette
Hi,
Just a quick msg to see how things are going?
i noticed that thinbgs settled down quite a lot after Talana was born so hopefully it will work for you too.
Having a baby is the most wonderful experience in the world so dont let anything stress you out!
Hope you are well!
Leanne

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

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