Don't be crazy, you most certainly haven't scared me off. This is what our letter writing is about, airing our problems and trying to help each other out. Sounds like you are going through a rough patch at the moment. You have broken my heart telling me about the parents passing away. I know it wasn't your intention but you did. To lose both your mother and father within nine years is something I can't even begin to imagine or relate to. Here I am worrying about my parents taking over and you don't even have any. Maybe I should take a step back and rethink things. Guess I'm pretty lucky really and I should appreciate what I have instead of acting like a spoilt brat.
Another thing I couldn't understand is not loving your own baby. Bugger work. I understand post natal depression but when it's not that, then what is it? She sounds a bit disturbed, what can I say? Hopefully she'll wake up and realise that babies need their family. Maybe I'll understand her point after I have my own, then again, maybe I'll still not be able to understand how you wouldn't want the best for your child.
Don't worry, i think I can tell you personally that you are not heartless. It's your second baby, unfortunately i don't think anybody ever gets excited about a second baby. I know my parents won't. I can tell you now, the limelight was taken off me when they heard about their first grandchild a few months prior (not that I mind...well...just an incy wincy little bit). The main thing is that you are excited, your partner is excited and your friends are excited. Tell the in laws (or out laws, as I like to call them) your news without expecting much of a reaction, particularly with what is going on at the moment. If you leave it much longer, they might not like it. It's going to take a while for Justin's mother to feel better so you may as well tell them now.
Hope I have helped, if only a little.
Kisses to you and Maddy. Hope you are feeling better soon.