Forever in our hearts....
When i told hubby that i was preggers he was not a happy camper neither was i really but these things happen for a reason
Mine is still coming to terms with it and i am nearly 18 weeks and he is only just starting to come around so give him time if he doesnt come round then he is not meant to be there and there is someone else out there for you but you need to look after the babies you have
I know exactly how your feeling as Ive been through the exact same thing nearly 3 years ago my husband gave the the ultimatum of choosing to keep the baby & loose him or vice versa. It was horrible he was so set in his ways not wanting the baby at all. My marriage ended because I kept the baby it was the only choice i felt as I personally couldnt consider the alternative. I look at my little girl now & think im so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl I sometimes think how my exhusband doesnt deserve to see her as it was his choice to leave us & he hated me for keeping her we didnt speak throughout my whole pregnancy and after for nearly 6 months but now hes trying to get contact with her and it tears my heart out as all i can remember are the fights him telling me to 'get rid of the baby'..
pls contact me if you'd like to talk as i really know what your going through.. BEC
ps- sorry to drag on...
Forever in our hearts....
you poor thing! If you do terminate, it has to be YOUR choice. If you do it because your dh forces you to, not only will you be full of guilt, you'll blame him. That is a lot for any marrigae to survive. If he would leave you over this, then maybe he's not as commited to you as you thought he was.
Please don't take this the wrong way- I don't claim to know anything about your relationship. It just seems to me that a loving, supportive husband and father would not try to force you to have an abortion, or walk out on you, leaving you with 3 babies.
So, maybe this is a good time to think about your relationship.
Having said that- if you have this baby, your 3 will be extremly close together. It obviously wasn't planned, so if you do decide that this is not a good time for a baby, maybe it's not. But, it has to be your decision. If you do terminate, don't let it be because you were forced to.
It may also be a good idea to call one of those counselling lines where they counsel you about abortion, (you could find the number on the internet or yellow pages), to help you make your decision.
Good luck, and try to stay strong for your babies.
Good luck with the discussion with your husband, you never know, he might actually surprise you... (maybe)
all i suggest is dont make any decisions after your first discussion with him. he'll need time to let it sink in, just like you did.
whatever you decide make sure YOU dont regret it.
if you do decide not to keep the baby, just consider the option of adoption, i can only imagine how difficult it would be to have two small babies and be pregnant again, but many never get the opportunity to have the one..
you have so much to consider.
do what will make you happy, you need to live with yourself and your decision.
im sorry 2 read about ur situation, i bet ur thinking do i celebrate or cry...
i agree with the other ladies, everything happens for a reason, and if hubby loves u and loves having his family around him then he will come 2 realise another bub will be just another blessing 2 ur lifes and its better 2 welcome another than loose everything that means the world 2 him..!
and honestly speaking from experience they do come around....
my partner has a 7 mth old as well, and im due in 2wks. originally he said i had 2 get rid of bub, but there was just no way i could face going thru that again..!! but now he is just so excited he talks 2 my stomach everyday n sings 2 him 2... n bub really responds 2 him...
honestly have a talk with hubby, both vent ur feelings... if ur family really means everything 2 the both of u, it will all work itself out in the end...
let us know how u go, best of luck...
I really hope you can both sort through this but please don't give in to him and terminate if it's not what you want cause it will tear you both apart in the end anyway. Do what is right in your heart.
jamie 6yrs dylan 3yrs davan 18mths No4 EDD 11.9.09
sounds like you have some tuff decisions 2 make. I had my first child when i was 18 and pretty much fell pregnant agian two months later. I had a huge amount of pressure from both sides of the family to terminate. In the end i did have an abortion but it was my partner that made up my mind he told me he didnt know if he could love the baby as times were hard as it was. so i had the termination. i can honestly say that it was much easier that i thought. i went to a special center in sa that did abortions and in total it only took 2 hours and that is including recovery. the accual procedure took 15 minutes and i chose to be knocked out for it.
I must say that i do still think about that baby but i dont really regret it. and the next baby we got to plan. that was nearly 8 years ago now.
so good luck with whatever desicion you make. and i hope that you find the love and support that you need.
mum of three girls (99,02,06)