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Help hubby doesnt want bub number 3 Lock Rss

Hi everyone, well i have two gorgeous boys at the moment and i just did a test this morning and found out im expecting again. My first and oldest son is 13mths old and my so far youngest is 3mths old. I however want this baby but hubby doesnt and has said he'd leave me. I dont exactlly know wat to do. I dont know how i'd feel about myself if i did have an abortion. Has anyone had an abortion or been in the same situation???? Please help.



Forever in our hearts....

i have found that i am having number three in sept

When i told hubby that i was preggers he was not a happy camper neither was i really but these things happen for a reason

Mine is still coming to terms with it and i am nearly 18 weeks and he is only just starting to come around so give him time if he doesnt come round then he is not meant to be there and there is someone else out there for you but you need to look after the babies you have
Good luck

ok, these baby's are gong to be close hey?? I also have boys 10.5 months apart and am pregnant with no 6 and there will be 11 months apart from my last baby to this one. it is diifficult at times, and i have help from my DH actually heaps oof help. so i know it will be a struggle without any help. In saying that though, it seems a bit much for your DH to just say he will leave you if you have this baby, he may be in shock or he may just think how hard it is going to be for while and really not prepared to do it again. That is something for you to work oput together. My advice on abortion , and i am a firm beiliever in your rights (womens rights) to do whatever you feel is necessary for you!, is if you have a termiantion, the guilt you will feel will be enormous, more so thasn if you have this baby, and it is lifelong,. Is your relationship strong enough to handle this with your DH, because you will blame him after you have the procedure and will make things more starined regardless. This is not an easy decision for you to make but this is obviously uyour decision = have the baby, the DH leaves, don't have the baby and if you are not 100% happy with the decision you made, then i feel the relationship may fall apart anyway,It is not so bad when the babies get to about 6 months and the toddler stage and then you look back and think, wow, that 2 years was a blur but now i am really enjoying them all, and this baby may just be a wonderful gift for you... good luck with your decision.
Hi Stacey,

I know exactly how your feeling as Ive been through the exact same thing nearly 3 years ago my husband gave the the ultimatum of choosing to keep the baby & loose him or vice versa. It was horrible he was so set in his ways not wanting the baby at all. My marriage ended because I kept the baby it was the only choice i felt as I personally couldnt consider the alternative. I look at my little girl now & think im so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl I sometimes think how my exhusband doesnt deserve to see her as it was his choice to leave us & he hated me for keeping her we didnt speak throughout my whole pregnancy and after for nearly 6 months but now hes trying to get contact with her and it tears my heart out as all i can remember are the fights him telling me to 'get rid of the baby'..
pls contact me if you'd like to talk as i really know what your going through.. BEC

ps- sorry to drag on...
Hey ladies. Thanks for your help. I think im going to have to have a serious conversation with huby but i doubt he will change his mind. I dont think that he will change his mind and im not 100 %sure i can do it.



Forever in our hearts....

Stacey-

you poor thing! If you do terminate, it has to be YOUR choice. If you do it because your dh forces you to, not only will you be full of guilt, you'll blame him. That is a lot for any marrigae to survive. If he would leave you over this, then maybe he's not as commited to you as you thought he was.

Please don't take this the wrong way- I don't claim to know anything about your relationship. It just seems to me that a loving, supportive husband and father would not try to force you to have an abortion, or walk out on you, leaving you with 3 babies.

So, maybe this is a good time to think about your relationship.

Having said that- if you have this baby, your 3 will be extremly close together. It obviously wasn't planned, so if you do decide that this is not a good time for a baby, maybe it's not. But, it has to be your decision. If you do terminate, don't let it be because you were forced to.

It may also be a good idea to call one of those counselling lines where they counsel you about abortion, (you could find the number on the internet or yellow pages), to help you make your decision.

Good luck, and try to stay strong for your babies.

Hi
Good luck with the discussion with your husband, you never know, he might actually surprise you... (maybe)
all i suggest is dont make any decisions after your first discussion with him. he'll need time to let it sink in, just like you did.

whatever you decide make sure YOU dont regret it.

if you do decide not to keep the baby, just consider the option of adoption, i can only imagine how difficult it would be to have two small babies and be pregnant again, but many never get the opportunity to have the one..
you have so much to consider.

do what will make you happy, you need to live with yourself and your decision.


hey

im sorry 2 read about ur situation, i bet ur thinking do i celebrate or cry...

i agree with the other ladies, everything happens for a reason, and if hubby loves u and loves having his family around him then he will come 2 realise another bub will be just another blessing 2 ur lifes and its better 2 welcome another than loose everything that means the world 2 him..!

and honestly speaking from experience they do come around....

my partner has a 7 mth old as well, and im due in 2wks. originally he said i had 2 get rid of bub, but there was just no way i could face going thru that again..!! but now he is just so excited he talks 2 my stomach everyday n sings 2 him 2... n bub really responds 2 him...

honestly have a talk with hubby, both vent ur feelings... if ur family really means everything 2 the both of u, it will all work itself out in the end...

let us know how u go, best of luck...



Oh you poor thing! Well i for one will say congradulations because if it wasn't for hubbies reaction this would be good news it seems to me. I think you need to really let him know where you stand on this. Personally i don't think i could ever have an abortion.. especially after having children but then everyone is different. To me it seems that you want the baby and obviously it takes two to tango so to just say he will leave you if you don't do as he asks seems very unfair.
I really hope you can both sort through this but please don't give in to him and terminate if it's not what you want cause it will tear you both apart in the end anyway. Do what is right in your heart.
Good luck

jamie 6yrs dylan 3yrs davan 18mths No4 EDD 11.9.09

hi stacey,
sounds like you have some tuff decisions 2 make. I had my first child when i was 18 and pretty much fell pregnant agian two months later. I had a huge amount of pressure from both sides of the family to terminate. In the end i did have an abortion but it was my partner that made up my mind he told me he didnt know if he could love the baby as times were hard as it was. so i had the termination. i can honestly say that it was much easier that i thought. i went to a special center in sa that did abortions and in total it only took 2 hours and that is including recovery. the accual procedure took 15 minutes and i chose to be knocked out for it.

I must say that i do still think about that baby but i dont really regret it. and the next baby we got to plan. that was nearly 8 years ago now.

so good luck with whatever desicion you make. and i hope that you find the love and support that you need.

mum of three girls (99,02,06)

Post deleted by administrator.
hey Stacey, Listen i agree with all of these ladies out here but i know where you are coming from my partner and i had this prob with the baby i'm due to have in september and the one i ended up aborting in 2005 now i wish to god i'd never done it because i did it all for the wrong reasons he didn't want it and said he'd leave and because we were so fresh into our relationship i did it. i totally regret it now though.... i wish i'd been stronger and said leave then, I am expecting our first child together but he has 2 kids to an ex-girlfriend, he has slowly come around and now that he can feel her kicking him at night and see's her moving in the shower he is happy we kept her. In the end it's your choice and you alone can make the right one for you and your family plz feel free to private msg me if you'd like to chat
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