Pregnant and have a toddler

Hi

I am 34 weeks pregnant and my daughter will be 2 years old two weeks before I am due. I have never worried about this pregnancy or birth as I just "go with the flow". However I am really worried about coming home with a new baby and looking after my daughter as well. 2 different routines, 2 different sets of demands, my daughter being a fussy eater at the best of times is hard to deal with and spending enough quality time with my daughter are just a few things I have been worrying about.

I am putting it out there to see how other mums have coped and if anyone has any suggestions.

Can I be honest and say that any routines you have will change. Be flexible and just go with the flow. I have also found that in the change of routine with my first child my second child slotted right in.

Dont worry it is always worse thinking about it than doing it.

Hi THB3A9,

i'm in the same situation you are, i'm 28 weeks and have a 2 yr old son.
I'm also worried about the differing routines between a 2 yr old and a new born. My son has gotten increasly affectionate and clingy, and being a single mum it's making things harder.

But i'm sure that we can do it just take one day at a time and get our big kids to help out, where they can.
But i know one thing it's gonna be a big change,

Hi,

My 1st born was 23 months when i had my daughter. I had the same feelings at the time. But honestly my 2 year old just seemed to slot in with everything. I mean the 1st 2 weeks he was a bit unsettled, being naughty, just trying to get mummys attention, but that soon stopped. As long as you try to find time for your 2 year old when the baby is asleep you should be right. Mine are now 2 & 4, and they play so well together, i wouldnt have it any other way. Just remember that when it comes to birthdays, get people to buy her things to keep her amused. Dvd's are a great way to keep them busy, i have a cabinet full of them at the moment, who said "you shouldnt use TV as a babysitter" (someone who doesnt have 2 under 3 in the house, obviously). Good luck with everything & try not to think about it too much.

My son was 18 months when I brought our new baby home. The best thing I did (well I think anyway!) was put the new baby into my toddler's routine. Obviously there will be more feeds and sleeps, but I always put the baby down to sleep (In his own room) when my toddler slept, and I always put them to bed at night at the same time. Whenever I fed the newborn, I always made sure DS1 had something on the floor or couch next to me, like do a puzzle, or we would read a book together while I fed the baby. Just go with the flow, you aren't expected to be in a perfect routine right away!

First 2 are 14 months apart (now 6 + 7 yrs)
Hardest part was when both wanted mummy.
Now they are best of friends (although they still fight!)
No. 3 + 4 will be 19 months apart. Have No. 3 in flexible routine and feel that I am the one in charge, NOT the kids.
The older ones have their "jobs" and I have been getting them to be more and more independant. No. 3 is settled and hopefully, my approach with him in the early days will pay off again. (Parent directed feeding and sleeping routines)
So, I guess, my advice is: freeze meals for when you get home, get DD prepared BEFORE no.2 arrives e.g. in big girls bed/ toilet training/ or anything that will make your life easier when bub comes.

Tanya,
I dont have much advice for you, as I am in the same boat, although my DS will be 20 months. I am due in 4 weeks and there are plenty of us with the same worries and concerns in the Due in August thread in Pregnancy and Birth, so feel free to come and join us!
Jo
[Edited on 03/07/2007]

Hi there. My eldest was 20mths when I had my second. Yes the routine will change slightly but as one of the other mums mentioned it is best to fit the newborns routine in with your toddlers. Your DD will adjust quite naturally but may have a few temper tantrums just to get your attention. So long as you remember to show her attention whether you are with the baby or not. I found what worked best for me was to include my son in everything I did with his little brother. I would place a chair next to the change table and get him to help me change the nappy... (he would hand me the creams or nappy). I would do the same when it came to bath time he would stand on a chair and help me bath the baby... we would each have a flannel to wash the baby. He loved it and felt more comfortable with the baby. He even tried to feed him a few times. They are now best of friends. He will just go up to his brother (they are 3yrs and 15.5mths now) and just give him a big hug and a kiss. They play wonderful together. (I am now pregnant with number 3). Dont stress just go with it.

i am a single 18 year old mum and im coping quite well with 2 kids under2. i have an 18 month old and a 3 month old.
i found its easier to fit the baby into the toddlers routine.
There are times when things get completely hectic, usually around dinner time, but it doesnt last long. I make sure i spend at LEAST one hour a day with one on one quality time with my toddler.