PND - Will anybody help me?

I'm suffering PreNatal Depression. I'm only 17 with my first pregnancy. The whole thing was accidental - i never found out till i was 12 weeks! There was no way i could go through an abortion, so the decision was to keep it. I was fine for the first couple of weeks after finding out but now i am so depressed. My mum is hating me for the whole thing, she says i have made her life difficult. If i ask her anything like "what was that pain - is that normal?" she would only say im just complaining. And if i try to tell her something good she just ignores me. Only my mum knows - i have to hide it from everyone else. Mum says that if dad finds out then he will blame it all on her and it will be world war 3! Im sick of having to wear ugly baggy clothes, and being 6 months now its getting a little hard to hide and my mum keeps telling me to suck it in. Now i realise my mum isn't on my side im now going to be stuck with no place to live, no money (except for what im saving which wont last long because i'll have to give up my job). The father ran to the other side of the world, so no support from him. I just feel i have nothing anymore. I want to go get a fulltime job, not just a casual job, so i can save that bit extra money to keep me going, but mum and dad dump my 18 month old sister on me all the time. I have no time for myself to be able to find out things about pregnancy and what goes on. Right now im rocking her to sleep with my foot and typing this - all the while my dad is on the couch sleeping! She is now into her "terrible two's" i cant handle her and help myself at the same time. I cant go to see a counseller - what would be my excuse to get out of the house? and where would i get the money? Oh yeah, when would i have the time? I'm just hoping that someone out there has had some kind of experience like mine and would be able to help me - or if not be able to help me put a smile back on my face.

Hi, I'm really sorry about your situation; it sounds awful. Do you reckon your parents will kick you out once you have the baby? That's really sad. Why don't you go and see your local maternal and child health nurse. I'm sure they can give you some helpful advice, maybe even help you to confront your father with the issue. You really should see a doctor so you can check if the baby is ok, and make sure there are no problems going on the you aren't aware of, for both your and your unborn child's safety and wellbeing. Don't you have any friends who might let you stay with them?

Your situation saddens me and the way your mum is dealing with it, its not right. I wasn't in your position, but someone I know was. I don't know where you live, but either go to or ring centrelink. They will provide you with a councillor and information on what benefits you can receive for you and your bubs. Do you see a doctor? If not go and see one and they also will help. The important thing is that both you and your bub are well and safe and at the moment its not doing you any good being stressed out by you parents, and your situation. What does your mum think your going to do with the baby when it comes and it will?
If you need someone to talk to about anything
e-mail me - darli@datafast.net.au

HI there,
Your situation is extremely hard, I know.
There will be people around you who will go out of there way to support you...especially as you sound as though you want to help yourself.
This may sound stange, but one place you are quite likely to find help is thru a church. Not so much your traditional churches (Catholic, Baptist etc) but the less traditional - Christian Outreach Centre, Assemlies of God etc. There are always people within there that have been in the same situation and WANT to help others like yourself. They also offer free counselling service and it isn't all bible based. It's very practical help.
The Community Health Centres have free counselling available also.
There should be a Family Support Service close by. This isn't only for people who are already mums, but those of us expecting us well.
If you want, I have quite a few links with services such as Counselling, Mental Health - depression etc. You could email me and let me know what area you're in and I will see what help I can get you close by.
And don't worry, these types of services are used to working around people like your parents so they are able to help you without stirring things up amongst the family.
Let me know if I can help
shereemas@dodo.com.au

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your situtation. I to was only young when I found out I was pregnant with my first child (18) and had shocking Post Natal Depression after his birth. It took me two years to admit that I had a problem and to seek help, believe me that is not the way to go. Whatever you do please go and see a doctor now before things get even worse for you.

I am not sure where you live but as the others have mentioned I would go and speak to Centrelink you may find their support and the funds you will recieve will help you out.

Do you really think your parents will kick you out at a time like this? You really need their support now.

If you want to chat at all don't hesitate to email me at s_brooks@pjc.com.au

Hi everyone
Thanks for all your replies!
Those who left email addresses, you will more than likely hear from me very soon, but for those who didnt thankyou for your support and help. If anybody would like to email me my address is kels_msgs@hotmail.com

I will still appreciate any other advice anybody can give me

Thanks!!!

contact centrelink there is no way you should be in a home like that being preggas you should be proud you should show off the beautiful life growing inside you. there should be someone that can help. friends, other family. are you going to keep the baby?
kodeybear@hotmail.com

is my email if you need to chat.

Hi there sweetie,

My best friends little sister went through this all in 2002. She was 14 and a half when she fell preggie after her first sexual experience, and was 15 when she had her beautiful little boy Zakky. She hid her pregnancy from her entire family until she was 30 weeks pregnant, when her older sister (my best friend), figured out something was up and asked me for my advice. When I took her to a bulk billing GP, the Doctor and I almost both fell over when she lifted up her top and there was this perfectly round pregnant belly under all those big clothes! (And let me tell you, he was a mid-december baby so I think the jumpers in summer gave it away)...

I don't know which state of Australia you are in, but here in WA we have King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women, and they run the Adolescents Pregnancy Clinic once a week on a Wednesday afternoon. I am sure other States have the same facilities at their Womens and Children's Hospitals. This one meeting suplies you with the place to have your child, all the medical tests you need, support from a Doctor, a Midwife, a Psychologist, a Social Worker and if you're of the Religious nature, a Guidence officer in that nature as well.

I suggest you search for something similar, or if you are in WA, take yourself along there. You can get a referral to attend the Clinic either from a GP or from your School Nurse/Local Health Nurse. This team of people will help you to find a place to live, support for the remainder of your pregnancy, they will counsel you and your Parents, and they will offer you anything else you need. They continue their care after the Birth of your Baby with the child's six week health check, plus help in finding work, or resources to enable you to return to study..

Centrelink will also be able to help you, but as others have said, you really need to be medically seen BEFORE you go into Labour. That way if there are things that need to be known beforehand, it won't be an emergency in the long run.

If you need any further help, or more information you can always feel free to e-mail me, and if you like I can try and get you in touch with my best friends sister, who can give you a more personal experience. Her Parents also wanted her out of the house when her baby was born, but as soon as they saw him them melted and were in love. She was lucky, and I can't say what the outcome will be for you, but you definitely need support sweetie.

Take care, and if you want to it's emma@it.net.au

-Emma-

Hi there,

Not too sure where you are but I know in Brisbane there is help for PRE-natal depression at the Brisbane Centre for Post-Natal Depression...there may be something similar in your state or territory.

Also you could call the Dona Marie Pre and Post Natal Depression Support Network on 1300 555 578.

I am keeping the number handy as I suffer from depression anyway and have had to come off my meds while pregnant....and I'm single with a 4 year old boy and only have the support of my friends.

Wish I could help you more...let us know how you go. Take care and remember you can't choose your family, but this baby chose you, so you must be special!

email jacksmum73@hotmail.com if you'd like to chat!

Lis : )

Hi Allalone,
I was 18 when i had my little boy Parker and my parents found it difficult to except my pregnancy as it wasnt planned either but they came around when i was about 5 months. I lived with my parents till Parker was a month old. At he moment im living of the goverment which im not not proud of but i have no choice. I dont struggle and ive always got spare money. I see alot of young mothers that look like they have no money ( I cant understand what they spend all their money on? ) Parkers father left me when i was 3 months pregnant and i havent herd from him since, I dont think it hard raising my son by myself but it does get lonely. About your mum just give it some time she might suprise you and come around? but if she doesnt its her loss and she not a very good mother. Try not to stress on it to much its not good for you or the baby.
What state you in? i would love to help you out.

Thinking of you
Sarah & Parker
xx

P.s contact centrelink and tell them you situation they will help you out heaps.

Hello. The best advice I can give you at this time is go and see your doctor and make sure you and your baby are ok. See centrelink and see what your options are. And go and see what your child health clinic can offer.

I dont know if you can talk to your dad but do you think you can try and talk to him??? If you cant talk to him have you go any friends who you can talk to or maybe talk to their mums for advice.

I am not sure where you live but you can email me if you wish. marilynburrows@bigpond.com

I am a mother of two with the thrid on the way ( well due any time ) I live on the sunshine Coast if that helps.