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  5. I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE now pregnant, am I normal?

I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE now pregnant, am I normal? Lock Rss

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with No2 and I have ZERO ZILCH patience!! Especially my patience with my 2.5yo boy sad I find myself yelling at him more than ever, and lose it easily if he is being naughty. We have both been ill a lot in the last 2 months with cold viruses and he has another cold at the moment and is constipated too.

I've just been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and having to inject 4 times a day which is a little bit of an extra burden. It doesn't help I have no family support either and Husband works long hours....and isn't very sympathetic or empathetic towards my cries for help after trying days.

I find being a Mum to a toddler whilst pregnant is beyond my comprehension of difficult. Does anyone feel the same way? Am I 'normal'? I just can't seem to juggle every day living anymore with ease.

I don't know if it's normal to feel like this when pregnant or if I could be edging towards mild depression? If anyone has similar stories and found a big turn around with their patience when baby was born, I'd sooooooooo love to hear from you. It may ease my mind that I'm simply not normal or not a good mum at the moment.

Thanks for listening, and an even bigger thanks if you've taken the time to reply smile Much appreciated.

Michelle

Michelle,Connor,Jai 2/7/08

Hi Chelle,
Most of it sounds normal... i know i have really struggled this time round with a toddler and being pregnant. Is there anyone you can get to help you out or even give you a break? My DD goes to daycare for just monday mornings, and it gives me a rest. Can you sit down with hubby and tell him how you are feeling? I have cried many times when my DD is playing up and i am just to tired both emotionally and phyisically to deal with it....
support is the biggest thing so if you an get some it will help lots..
Good luck...
and if all else fails put on the wiggles and have a rest on the couch smile

I know exactly what you mean. I don't have a child yet, but DP had a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We only have her on the weekends but I find myself getting so so angry at her. She is a naughty kid and it stresses me out that DP lets her get away with certain things.

It sounds totally normal to me too whilst pregnant.
I'm normally laid back myself, but I seem to arc up about just about everything while pregnant - family, friends, complete strangers! Makes no difference.
It's like all the little things I accepted and laughed off pre-pregnancy I just won't tolerate now - and I don't even have a toddler to run around after like you lot do.
I even let loose at a stranger who tried to push in front of me at a chemist. I was waiting for change and she stepped on my foot and tried to get in front of me, not realising I had already been served - I completely lost it like a raging lunatic!
I've never been treated like a princess (or expected to be treated like one), but now that I'm carrying a little princess I'm full of self-righeousness! It's kind of funny now that I'm calm, but I know anything and everything will set me off! Same with my family, friends and hubby - I should write on my forehead - treat well or stand back!

I think most importantly you need to be kinder to yourself and stop expecting to be a supermum. I was worried about edging into depression as well. I took a quiz on this site:

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/surveys/Temperament/index.html

It helped me see that what I was stressing about and might have tipped me over into depression was completely in my control - self-criticism, perfectionism, etc. When you're pregnant you feel like nothing is in your control, especially if you don't have a supportive hubby (through long hours or just the fact that they are male! haha).

Don't worry about venting every now and then it is normal thanks to hormones!

Ruby
[Edited on 02/05/2008]

Double post as it timed out
[Edited on 02/05/2008]

oh my god i thought it was just me i am 37 weeks-today i have lost it with my son he also 2.5 yr old and its not that he is being any different then usual just demanding i have no patience for anyone or anything at this point.
i wish i had enjoyed the first pregnancy more now because this one has been hard to juggle the morning sickness,tiredness,mood swings and a toddler who is like a mexican jumping bean from dusk too dark and who thinks a nap is only what the cat has.....
i hear you loud and clear your not alone
[Edited on 02/05/2008]
[Edited on 02/05/2008]

lil

Thank you to everyone who has added their post for me to read. It's made me feel much much better and 'normal'!!! Mind you though, I've also had a laugh at some of your replies, sorry but I have. If we don't laugh about it, I guess we'd go insane!

Thanks for the link to that site with the quiz, I'll definitely be checking that out.

I guess my problem is that I do like to be super Mum and like to feel in control and with it. I don't enjoy feeling out of control esp with my emotions.

I'm also comparing first pregnancy to this one, they are worlds apart in every single way possible (so hope I'm having a girl then, but I should be so lucky) and I never felt like this when pregnant the first time. Though I didn't have a toddler to deal with either. Life was that little bit (heaps) easier and laid back. Never was I over being pregnant or felt I had ZERO patience. I thought going to work 9-5 was a challenge - huh, throw in a toddler in everyday life and see what challenge means!!!!

To the kind person who mentioned daycare one day a week, I so already put connor in each Weds but since I've had all my extra medical problems my days are eaten up by appointments sad I'd love to book him in for another day but Hubby would never approve. He even wanted him out of one day when I finished work!!! Noway Jose. men just don't get it.

All my friends can't believe how much I do with my days/weeks. Seems my Hubby is the only one who thinks I can fit more in! I have to start thinking of ditching a few things to gain more 'ME' time. He 'scaled' me the other day for not putting washing away. It's my LAST priority around the house. If it's washed and dry that's enough for me. I told him to do it (as it used to be his job) and his reply 'It's not my job though', grrrrrrrr.

Lil I loved your 'mexican jumping bean' image, I so get that!!!! My boy ditches some of his day time sleeps too now, yikes. That's my sanity time so I need him to sleep during the day.

Something else caught my funnybone but ur username escapes me(no posting infront of me to see). Was in the posting with the website address.

Anyhow, it turns out after our Dr visit today Connor has two ears with middle ear infections, throat infection, not constipated now (did hard poos today then followed through with a runny one in Dr waiting room and Mummy 'forgot' the nappy bag!!! Luckily they had disposables there to give me), and has a cold virus. Oh and all this after a 2.30am bed time for me last night as he was vomiting for a few hours on and off! Any wonder we've had a bad week!!!

Thanks again for listening, reading and repling. I didn't know if I did the right thing by posting my 'sorrows' but was desperate to hear of others in the same boat as me. It all helps, and I'm glad I made a posting now.

Take care and may patience be with US!

Michelle,Connor,Jai 2/7/08

sounds normal to me!

i had NO patience wen i was preggers lol!
Chelle if your hubby thinks the washing is "your" job, dont wash his stuff for a while... he'll get the hint... Some days i am soooooo far from super mum... i have had a couple of really bad days when the washing hasnt been done, or even the dishes. As long as your toddler is ok (and mine had tonsilitis so i was up all night which is why i was too knakered to do anything) that is all that matters. Sounds like your hubby needs a reality check- have hime look after connor for a whole day and then see what he thinks...

WE are not super mums smile it is really hard being a mum to a toddler and being pregnant at the same time! Sooooo much harder then last time!

Hi Michelle

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I have a 3 year old very active and stubborn son, who is driving me crazy. I am still working F/T and actually find it is easier for me to be at work, than at home on my own with him.

I have absolutely no patience at the moment. I feel like screaming at him, but my lungs are so squashed - its just too much effort. Today I had to put him in the naughty room and retreat to my room for some time-out of my own, after he tipped his lunch that I made him out into the sink because he wanted Pizza. I was SO MAD I thought I'd lose it.

I agree with you - I have the same feelings. This pregnancy has been different in every way, but so much harder because of having to give 120% with the toddler/preschooler.

I think we ARE supermums, just being able to do it, and have happy healthy children. That's all that matters - not the stupid folding (you should see our spare bed - covered in washing for me to fold!)

My DH was much like yours - but in the last 2 weeks has got alot better, given how close I am to giving birth, although I still have to do my share (1/2) of all the chores and child-rearing business.

I make sure I take some time out for myself. I get massages or pedicures in my lunch break, as special "Me" time, and that really helps.

Good luck to you - just remember to count to ten!

Bye
Trudy

Michelle, you poor thing. I really feel for you.

I feel exactly the same, and it is only the start of my pregnancy. My little boy has enormous ear troubles too, and it makes his behaviour so much worse, which then makes me even more mad, so then i feel guilty because the poor little man is sick and i should be more supportive. Trudy, i take my hat off to you, I am working full time which i find complicates things. I don't want to be doing it at 36 weeks!!
Michelle, i hope your little one gets well soon. Hang in there, we all lose it sometimes!!
Amelia

Hi everyone, tis me again searching for my normality status from all you wonderful Mum's smile

So firstly thanks Daisy for your 'normal' statement. Cute Shreks too smile

Casey7: I dont think, no hangon, I know hubby has no idea how much I actually do around the house. He just thinks things stay in order, and get put back into place by my fairies?! If the only thing he can pick holes on me about is not putting away washing well he's got it good huh??? He is a PC engineer and he doesnt mix with the 'real world' much to know what's deemed 'normal'. Wish he would mix more so he'd understand how good he has it at home sad Taken for granted, that's me.

I didnt put HIS washing away for a few days, but it got the better of me and I did it in the end. Trying to teach him a lesson, and i did warn him I simply WOULDNT put his away anymore. He sees small parts of what my days can be like when he cries etc.. so he can quickly empathise but he also quickly forgets!!!

Tonsilitis, icky. It's so much harder when the little ones are ill.

Trudy: I'd agree that full time work may be easier than full time Mum, but I can't say for sure as I haven't done FT work since having Bubs. Just went back for one day a week for a year. Working FT would still have it's challenges that's for sure.

LOL@your squashed lungs comment and not being able to yell. You're funny!!!

You thought you'd lose it? I HAVE been losing it. I hate myself for it but I just snap so easily. Like I said, patience is so so thin atm. Even if I know he is sick and that's why he is whinging, it doesn't change the fact he is whinging and it's grating at my insides. We have had a pretty horrendous week.

And you are right, we ARE super mums! Why didn't I think of that?! smile Good luck with your upcoming birth.

and...count to ten? more like count to a billion for me.

Amelia....do you want to be my Mum? Your posting just has that lovely motherly feel to it smile Ear infections are just terrible to deal with arent they? We were close to getting grommits but he hasnt had ear infections for a few months now, until this week with the double whammy (and constipation at the same time, OMG. He was in terrible pain with that).

You are right, it changes their behaviour and rightly so, but it doesn't make it any easier to live and deal with. I like you, feel mighty guilty when I 'm not as supportive as I should be. But we can only do our best, and we are human after all. (listneing to my own advice here, lol)

BTW, handsome man you have there smile With a cheeky smile like that, how can he make you mad? tee hee. Good luck with your birth.

Thanks once again everyone. This post is extremely calming to my nerves. I think I'm a normal pregnant woman smile with NO PATIENCE I might add.


I hope our next week is better than our last one. It can't get any worse!!

Michelle,Connor,Jai 2/7/08

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