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Ban on visitors after birth Lock Rss

Well, DF and I have decided we're putting a 2 week ban on visitors after the birth of our second child (due in July).

After DS was born, it was a total shambles.

Everyone was totally disrespectful of our wishes. They would call constantly, bang on the door when we had the "do NOT knock. mother and baby are sleeping." on the door. They wouldn't leave when we asked them to. They would come over to "help" and end up creating more work for me and not let me get any rest at all. We got no space at all.

So, we have just called everyone and told them STRICTLY NO VISITORS FOR 2 WEEKS AFTER THE BIRTH!!! We want to spend that time bonding as a family and keeping DS's life as undisrupted as possible.

Our phones will be switched off on the day of the birth. Our home phone will be off the hook for the entire 2 weeks and our mobiles will be on silent. Anyone who knocks on the door will be turned away; no matter who they are or how far they have come.

My sister and her hubby and kids will be allowed to visit (DF and I are both very close to them and they are the only ones who are understanding, respectful, and helpful) and they will be minding DS while I'm labouring but, other than that - no one is allowed near us.

We will go around and visit everyone after the 2 weeks are up but, prior to that, it's our time as a family.
Personally I think that's a great idea !

We had a very similar experience with our dd when she was born....she was 5 weeks early and we had many probs with bf and expressing and with visitors popping around all day & night & everyone having an opinion and offering us their "good advice" well, lets just say it left us with a very unpleasant memory.

I dont think I'd do as you are doing and put a ban on everyone coming around but this time I certainly wont be as polite if anyone has turned up at an inconvenient time or overstayed their welcome. Besides my family have pretty much just taken this pregnancy in their stride and havent been overyly concerned at all - in fact I think they've forgotten which I'm thrilled about. Its like the novelty of the first pregnancy is over & done with...who cares about the second one lol.

Just remember that in some cultures its customary for baby & mum to not leave the house or have any visitors for 2 months so baby is bonded well with mum & dad.

I think your decision is a good one even though you might cop a bit of flack from friends & family. It all comes down to respect in the end. Good luck with the impending birth.

Rach
I am so glad it's not just me!

This is our first baby and the thought of having a deluge of visitors to the hospital and our house over the first few weeks fills me with dread as all I want to do is for the three of us to bond together and figure out what to do by ourselves.

This isn't even taking into account I am usually a very house proud person and I know that housework is already having to take a back seat as I get bigger let alone when we have a brand new baby.

So we'll be doing exactly the same thing as you, it's a great idea.

All the best for a safe and happy delivery gasp)
Hey i think that is a good idea.. Nothing worse than people coming around uninvited and all hours of the day. I went away to have my baby so there was no one to visit me at the hospital excpet when i rang mum in tears and she flew up to be with me a couple of days after. LOL..
Once we got home when the girls were 6 days old, the only person who really came over was my mum and that was to help with the washing and bring over meals etc as i had a C sec and was really struggling.
It's great that you will have 2 weeks to bond with your baby, enjoy it.. smile
If people were respectful of our wishes the first time around, we may not be putting down such a hard line this time. But, they showed us last time that we can't trust them to respect our wishes and visit within the allocated times.

So, no holds barred this time!

Everyone has actually been ok with it. They asked why and we told them straight out - that they were completely disrespectful last time and we totally missed out on our bonding time as a family and we will not be tolerating that again. We also explained that it is even more important this time because we have a young toddler to think about too.

My family actually thinks it's a brilliant idea because they don't trust themselves not to get over-excited and do the same thing again.

DF's family wasn't impressed but, DF is very good at laying down the law and told them they were the ones who were most at fault last time so they only had themselves to blame. They accepted it.

Our friends think it's the best idea ever and are all intending on doing the same when they start their families or add to them.

We just feel so relieved!
i admire your braveness to tell your family to basically back off for the first two weeks.
i totally support your decision to bann people from coming and visiting you, cause its not only you and bubba you have to look out for but its your toddler as well and i think everyone knows how annoying it is with interuptions on routines with out a new bubba, so we can all understand how hard it will be trying to keep to the routine with a toddler and juggle visitors.
we're about to have our second baby and last time was a little bit of a nightmare especially with my mother in law so i have decided that for the first few days in hospital we arnt going to have any visitors, and WE are going to tell people that he has arrived, NOT my mother in law. (she pushed my parents out of the way 5 minutes after DD was born (i was still out to it-had an emergency c-section, was put out) to take photos and then an hour later sent a massive e-mail to everyone with the photos telling them that she had arrived, we didnt get to tell anyone from my husbands side of the family our news)
good luck with your labour and keeping people away!

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hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
hello,

Im about to have my bub in a few weeks, and we are pretty much doing the same! ill be in hosp for 5-7 days, i have banned everyone but my mum and close family to be there, as I had a similar experience with everyone hanging around etc.

In hospital the first time I had a very traumatic birth, followed by days of agonising breastfeeding and no sleep, and all i wanted was to be with my husband and older daughter. It would have been ok if people came and said a quick hello but lingering for what seemed like hours got all too much! One friend came and bought her two kids, they ended up trashing my house when we got home I was sooo annoyed couldnt wait to get rid of them!

in hosp im giving the staff strict instructions... no one is allowed into my room without my permission!

best of luck for your births ladies x
kristen
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