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Ban on visitors after birth Lock Rss

Hi

I think thats a great idea, im lucky and only have my inlwas and one close friend that lived close to me so ill be fine everyone else in interstate. Plus the inlaws never come over.

My friend is due in July and they have recently moved house 40mins out of the city so they have decided after the birth only immediate family and once settled at home they will have a meet the baby on a sunday arvo so everyone else can meet the baby. They have alot of friends that can't take a hint.

Good luck

Good for you i say preserving the special bonding time with your little family which after all is most important.
I dont ever have anyone at the hospital on hubby and of course my other children because this is our special time just for us all to get to know each other.
when i get home this time my mil will be here and my mom only lives two mins up the road so mil is here to cook clean and basically help us for a week so we can get settled but she is a godsend a wonderfull lady never interfers always asks before she holds and sees if i am okay which is perfect.
and my mom is great too she will be helping out as well making sure i can get as much rest as possible doing all the washing and folding etc.
My stepdad and my lil sis and lil bro are great as well and they will help out as well looking after thier neice and nephew which is important.

I prefer family rallying around doing as much as they can before bub is born then giving you space after to bond and relax but also be around in a helping sense as that is most important once you come home.
Good for you though for sticking up for yourself i think this time your experience will be so much better...
Baba baby, that is just awful that you didn't get to tell everyone about the birth of YOUR child.

I understand that it's an exciting time for everyone but, some people can get caught up in the excitement and forget that it's somebody else's baby.

It's great that some people have lovely mums and MILs who come and actually help! That is so fantastic!

LOL - MIL's that help....I thought that was an urban myth .... oh wait, that's another thread entirely !

I've actually just had a quick chat to hubby since posting earlier today and we're going to tell everyone that they arent allowed to visit at the hospital - that's our time. Thanks for the encouragement to do what WE want instead of whats just expected.
Good on you mumofstella!

We are bound to upset some people but, the birth of your child is one time when I think you have to be selfish and do what is best for you and your little family.

It's a really special time! Some families and friends are very respectful and mindful of this; others (like ours) aren't.

Good luck to everyone on their impending births! I hope they all run smoothly:)
What a great idea.
I found people were always visiting when I was breastfeeding and stupid me wouls stop what I was doing to open the door and let them in then had a hard time getting going again, or else it would be visitors that I refused to BF in front of so I fed in another room and felt uncomfortable the whole time, or cut the feed short.....so I think I will do the same. Tell people, no visitors at hospital and after that only if they SMS and arrange a time first, thankfully all my rellies live 3 hours away so I'd get at least 3 hours notice!

Hey I hear the whole BF thing....I swear that was one of the main reasons why I had trouble. I found it difficult to fit in a feed (I wasnt comfortable bf in front of anyone cept dh) or expressing so I'd end up going hours wihtout doing either and poor dd eventually ended up being ff cause my milk dried up (surprise surprise). It was, at the time, my biggest regret that I didnt put my foot down sooner and tell people to bugger off cause dd needed to be fed. I wont do that again.
Good on you for taking a stand!
We live 30kms out of town, so most people tend to think we are too out of the way for visiting, which is fine by me. I'm booked in for a caesarean, and I've already told our families that if they need to visit, it will have to wait til I'm feeling up for it, and when I'm up and about. My caesarean will be performed first up in the morning (about 7am), and my mother isn't terribly pleased that she can't come up and visit right away, or be waiting in my hospital room for me.

I want to at least be able to shower and look half decent if people are coming to visit...

on reading these stories i realise how lucky I am to have such an understanding family!

i never have visitors other than v close family in hospital - i just don't have time to be chatting when i need the rest when i can get it!

One nice story for you all......when DS was born last yr we had his great grandparents visiting from UK, on probably their last ever trip here. I had a v traumatic birth and was still hooked up to a wee bag and being tired and hormonal i really didn't want any visitors! I kept delaying visitors and they all understood. i was in a tiny room with 2 seats and i was in a single bed. but they were so keen to be there. In the end i relented and they did come together with my inlaws and BIL - 5 visitors in a tiny room! but i saw what it meant to them all, i saw the tears in their eyes. The 3 men left quite soon to go for a walk and coffee, and for the grandma and great-grandma and i to sit around holding my son for those moments was a lovely memory.

its sad that some families can't just accept that this is all about you and the baby, and just respect your needs. If they were more reasonable they could enjoy some lovely early moments. But saying that i totally respect your decisions!

good luck smile
I SO HAVE TO MAKE MY HUSBAND READ THIS!!!!

After the birth of our second DD I ended up coming home earlier than I wanted to as my poor DH couldn't cope with our 17 month old. The first night I was home my DH uncle, auntie and cousin 'dropped' around at 9pm as they were in the neighbourhood. They only live 5 min away anyway.

Our 17 month old was still up. And I was on the phone to my parents as I hadn't had a chance to speak to them after the birth. They live over 4 hrs drive away. Then they expect me to get them drinks and offer them 'tea'. Pft, I had news for them!!

I spat it!! I was very rude to them, as to get the message into them that it was not right to show up unannounced the night I got home from hospital. It was wasn't even 48hrs after I had had our 2nd DD. And they just came in and made themselves comfortable. I can't stand his uncle anyway as he tends to treat women as lower class citizens and thinks he is the all mighty MAN.

After they finally left my DH started going on how it was so rude. I told him that they are rude for not even considering that I had given birth only days ago. Even if they dropped round realized I was home and politely excused themselves I would have been fine. But to get themselves all comfortable is really rude. Let alone my husband is chinese and they all yell at each other. Don't know where they get 'chinese whispers' from!!

Even though I'm supposed to stay home in confinement for 1 month, I refuse! I would accept visitors if they called and booked a time. Luckily most other family members have young children and are very understanding of when you have a new baby!!

i only really want my mum to visit me mostly.. im in a good dont-talk-at-all relationship with all of DP's family! lol so they wont be a problem, he will fill them in and i simply dont even hear from them, its great! and maybe a couple of my long time friends and family, but my friends and family are the sort to always check its ok and allocate a time for visiting. they arent rude luckily!

If that's what you want then it's great you've told everyone and not been worried about being rude or anything. It's your time to get to know your new baby and people should respect that.

After I had Maddi my MIL visited at the hospital a couple of days later for about half an hour and then MIL and FIL visited once after we were home a few days later and other than that they expect us to visit them which is great because I just don't go when I don't want too! My family are pretty good, they were at the hospital when I had Maddi (in the waiting room) and will be this time but if I said I didn't want them there then they would go home lol.

If it works out this way, and Maddi is awake and at the hospital when this baby is born then DF is going to go get her and she'll be the first one to meet the new baby and we'll get a bit of time with just her before my family come in. But they just say hi to the baby and have a cuddle then go so that's fine.

But DF's aunties came to visit us at home and they were loud and they came over late. I was falling asleep on the couch lol so next time if people are over and I'm tired I'm just gonna go to bed and they can sit and talk quietly to my DF or go home. Same with when MIL and FIL visited, it was when I was running out of milk and I spent 45mins in our bedroom feeding her, then I called my DF to come in and grab her and said I'd be out in a min but then she started crying again cause she was still hungry so she came right back in so when my in-laws visited they didn't see me at all and only saw Maddi for 2mins and she was crying then. So they should've called first, even though they only came once.

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