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Ban on visitors after birth Lock Rss

We had a two week ban on family and visitors after our first born and we will do the same with our new expected. Especially when we lived remotely and they expected to stay with us too.

It was the best thing we could have ever done. After an issue at the birthing centre due to nurses on strike etc and it having to close for the night,we travelled 1.5hrs home 6hrs after #1 was born.

Hubby was on 2weeks parental leave it was a wondeful time for us to spend as a new family and to enjoy this experience togetheras well as adjust to the huge change in our life. Some may think we were being selfish but whats selfish about wanting this beautiful experience alone..

We did it then and we will defintaley do it AGAIN!!!

What a great idea, and what a great thread to read smile
Oh what a great idea! I hope when I fall pregnant again I will have the guts to do this too.

I can remember so clearly how annoyed I was in the first couple of weeks with visitors! I had DS by emergency c-section six weeks early. So in hospital he was in the special nursery and I was on another floor. I would be told in the morning that so and so was coming in to visit so I would be waiting for hours for them missing out on time with DS etc. They would come and stay hours. And they weren't even immediate or close family. Only family that we see once or twice a year so I didn't really care about spending that much time with them to put in bluntly.

Then when DS got home three weeks later and DP was home in holidays we were trying to get some bonding time in and teaching DS to breast feed when the in laws were popping in ALL the time and staying for hours!! And they had a tendency to pop in around 5-5:30 right befor tea time!! And I always have my meat pre packed for just the two of us. Plus it was hard enough getting tea organised with a newborn and c-section paid without having unannounced visitors. THEN they would stay til 11-12 at night and I would practically be crying saying please can you go home. They would just say you can go to bed if you want we don't mind, or ok, we'll go soon and still be there half an hour later!!

So, I hope to have the strength next time round to say NO VISITORS!!!
My goodness, i really wish i had reinforced this issue to my other half. our plan was not to tell his family that i had gone into labour, so they would not turn up at the hospital. My family are all interstate, so I just have the inlaws living locally. Being our first child, my other half freaked out when we got to the hospital and called his mother, who ended up coming up to the hospital. she first sat outside (to guilt me i think) and as the pain was getting worse, asked if she could come into the birthing suite. as i was in agony, i wouldnt have cared if the pope was in the room, so MIL made her way in, just as i thought she was planning to do. I did make her leave before the actual birthing part occured, but i did let her know i didnt want her around when i was in labour but she did not listen, or just did not care.

As for the hospital part, i had my MIL, SIL, FIL, the SIL's kids and my other halfs grandmother popping in at all times, and as one of you other ladies said, i would be breastfeeding at times, and have to stop.

eventually we told everyone we wanted time alone, not to come around as we wanted to bond as a family, and that has caused all sorts of hell. apparently i am some sort of a bitch as ''i dont want the inlaws anywhere near my child''. the truth of the matter is, i dont have time for visitors, and the SIL's kids are always sick with something or another, and i dont want to risk my babies health for the sake of my inlaws getting what they think are their ''rights'' to visit MY baby! MIL still comes around unannouced, but i am not having the SIL or her kids come around until after bub is vaccinated, and i think that is my right as a mother. MIL said she would not be buying the baby anything more if her family couldnt visit, but for one thing , shes bought hardly anything for the baby, and my family have sent more for our child up from interstate, which costs the earth in postage, and they NEVER get to see the baby except for in photos!!

sorry if this is such a rant, i have been having soo many problems with this subject, still do, had a huge barney last night with the IL's about it, that i need to get it off my chest! Talking about chests, my milk has started drying up as a result of all this stress , which is stressing me more, but the inlaws just say ''just put her on formula'' which i do not want to do! Breastfeeding is the only thing i can do for my daughter that no one else can do, and i dont want to lose that.

Good luck ladies in your quest for peace and quiet and respect from your familys, and good luck with your labours and births. thanks for listening to my long rant and rave! i needed it!!

i like the idea, and would like to do it to some extent the next time we have a baby. the idea of putting a sign on the door and taking the phones off the hook/putting them on silent is a good idea.

however i won't ban all contact - people can visit when invited by us. i would like to have only immediate family at the hospital for the first few days, especially as i will be having a c/s next time.

i was extremely annoyed at having visitors in hospital last time, especially when people turned up out of visiting hours and on the third day when i had my first chance to have a shower (gross hey but i was chained to the bed on a drip and suffering with my 4th degree tear), i had pleaded to have my drip off for a bit so i could have my shower without cords hanging off me. i was in there for about 2 mins when the nurse knocked and said i had visitors - it was the strictly no visitors rest time!!! and we had told everyone specifically that no one was allowed then. man i was annoyed!!!!!!

Great idea!
I did this when DS was born last november. Some people didn't take it very well but they got over it. Only DH was allowed to visit me and DS in hospital too. Some people, especially my mum, tried to tell me "No,. I'll be in the waiting room... no... I will be... I'm telling you now i'll be there". Err nope. So we didn't even tell them when it was all happening, DH just called them after he was born.

I don't regret it one bit.
i was in there for about 2 mins when the nurse knocked and said i had visitors - it was the strictly no visitors rest time!!! and we had told everyone specifically that no one was allowed then. man i was annoyed!!!!!!

That's one thing my hospital is EXTREMELY strict on....from 1pm - 3.30pm is mum's rest time and no-one...not even allowed to visit as they lock the doors and turn all the lights down so everyone can have a rest. The only ones that can get in is hospital staff with a pass key and I think it's bloody marvellous!! You've got 2 1/2hrs to rest or just get up and have a shower in peace and not have to worry about visitors just dropping in when they feel like it.

When DD1 was born I had my mum and ex-hubby in the delivery room with me, and only had immediate family and close friends visit while I was in hospital and they were all really good. Ex-In-laws were living interstate so they didn't come up until a few weeks later, thankfully, cos ex-MIL is a class 1 bitch who delights in degrading everything I do as not good enough.

When DD2 arrived the ex-in-laws were living up here and tried to insist that they came to the hospital and stayed for 2wks at our place after I came home...hahahaha not even over my dead body!! They were told after she arrived and informed to check with me first before just dropping in,not that they could anyway cos they lived over an hours drive away. Bitchy MIL HATED that she had to clear her visits with me but I didn't care long as her having to ask kept the old cow from coming over it was fine by me. This is the same woman that abused me for refusing to call MY baby the name she handed to me on a piece of paper, as well as informing me that I was to get my tubes done instead of ex-hubby getting the snip because "Who says he going to be stuck with you for the rest of his life?" Snotty bitch obviously knew back then that ex-hubby was planning to walk out on me and his kids....cos that's exactly what he did when DD2 was 18mths old.

With DS1 it was only DP and I in the delivery room, and I'm so glad as it was the most amazing experience for both of us. He delivered his son (once his head was out), cut the cord and then cleaned him up so he could have a cuddle before handing him to me for his first feed while I delivered the placenta. The midwife checked DS1 over and daddy dressed him and then came and helped me in the shower, while DS1 kept warm in the cot cos he wasn't holding his temp for the first hour after birth (he was 2 1/2wks early). Because he was born just after 1am everyone got the phone calls but then they couldn't come visit until after 9am so I had plenty of time to get cleaned up and settled back in my room before anyone showed up.

With this one I'm fine with the in-laws coming to visit cos they are absolutely marvellous. They don't ever outstay their welcome and are the first to pitch in and help even when we don't ask, and my parents are happier to visit after bubby comes home so that's good too.

Depending on how my back copes with this labour I may come home the same day but DP reckons I should stay as long as I need to and he'll be fine with DS1 and the older DD's....hhmmmm I'm not sure how DS1 will cope with me being away for more than a few hours cos he won't quite be 1 when this one arrives, I'm positive DP will be fine though LOL.

HeartKids show courage, strength & tenacity

This one gets the thumbs up from me!
Fortunately I don't know many people where I am, all my friends and family are 2000kms away. But visitors anoy the crap out of me at the best of times.
When I had no.4, I decided to be strict on visitors at the hospital. DF discouraged anyone that asked him about visiting. But one afternoon I was in my room with the door shut, the midwives knew I didn't want visitors and told a group of friends that I was asleep. So they went and sat in the lounge and waited for me to "wake up". And sent me a text to let me know they were waiting. I chose to ignore them for a fair while but ended up caving cos I could hear them from where I was. Grrrr.
As for MIL, the law was laid down just after DD1 was born that she had to get clearance to come around. She doesn't like it though. She was stalking me.

Michelle- 3 boys-17,13 & 9 -2 girls-3 & 1

If that is what you want & family abide by it that is great

I couldn't do it lol

With my first we said no visitors for 24hours after birth but after 7 hours I was ringing my friends & asking them to come in & visit me as I was sooooooo bored lol

With the 2nd we were home the next day & we went straight from the hospital to my now ex's work to show him off then went home where DS1 & mum were waiting

With DS 3 & 4 (twins) they were in hospital for 2 weeks & I was in for 1 as they were 6 weeks early, we had visitors come to see me from day 1 & they were able to see the babies from day 3

With DS 5 & 6 (twins) we came home the next day & went to the ex's work & then went shopping
we moved house 2 weeks after they were born

Im sorry to see there are so many other people who had mean visitors too!

mumto6boys, we're all for going out and doing things and I am definitely keen to get out of hospital asap (I left after 48 hours after DS and he was an emergency c-section). It's not like we're going to sit boarded up in the house for 2 weeks lol.

I think, if people have nice, respectful visitors, then that's great! The woman in the bed next to me had people coming and going all day but, they were all nice, helpful, and respectful.

But, our vistors were absolutely vile. There's no other word for it. I won't go into all the gory details lol. But, it was pretty horrific.

We're so excited to have the 2 weeks to ourselves; just our little family bonding time to do things together:)
I absolutely applaud u for doing this. Having DD and being my first i could have shot visitors they were so in my face. Always wanting to hold dd even though she need to be asleep in bed =(

Im doing it with my next ive already told my DP, his responce was "u cant do that" and mine was "tuff sh*t i bloody well will" bahahahahah

I hope it works for ya =)
Great Great idea!!! Wish I did it.
We got home with Ethan and within 20 mins there was a knock at the door. It was my SIL and her hubby. I was trying to breastfeed. So my hubby took them outside for 30 mins while i was alone having trouble..
A simple phone call to see if its ok to come was all it would take. Then that night other friends rocked up. I was totally exuasted.

People just dont get it!!!

Well done and enjoy those 2 weeks with just the 4 of you..

Ethan 18/04/06 Hannah 13/04/07 Yep we were crazy a

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