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  5. scared of giving birth. Please help.

scared of giving birth. Please help. Lock Rss

7 weeks, 30yrs old. I'm scared stiff of giving birth. I have had a thing about blood/insides etc since v young. At 6 I was diagnosed with epilepsy, but around the age of 17 a specialist suggested may be phobia as seizures happened when i was around people talking about blood, when i had to have blood tests, when i saw an accident. also, that i would feel light headed and 'out of it' before passing out (not fainting - full shaking on the floor like grand mal seizure!) indicated that it was not epilepsy as apparently you do not feel epileptic seizures coming on (showed epilepsy in ecg but apparently age factor and could've been too young to be definitive). So obviously, since an early age i have been freaked out about giving birth & for years assumed i would not have children. was sad about that tho, as i love children & really want them, so does husband, so decided not to think about it, get myself up the duff & it would have to come out somehow! Did that, now i'm so beside myself i worry i wil m/c. irrational maybe, but v real to me. i had awful experience at 18 of having seizure while under local & op in my mouth (lips all clamped - u can imagine!) orthadontist kept going on about what he was doing - it did my head in but i couldnt tell him to shut up! next thing ... What if that happened while giving birth. I know its in my head, but it is really there (if you get what i mean). I'm scared of being dismissed as a big wuss. maybe i am, but scared of so much, including not bonding & mentally losing it after. I'm after your advice. any one have the name of a sympathetic/empathetic midwife (hav notion all are of opinion ur not a real woman unless you give birth naturally) in Christchurch? i dont know that i want c-sec either. will have to do something obviously, but just going there gets me feeling all wierd & i have to take my mind off it quickly. got first gp appointment fri. any ideas what to do?
Hi not sure what is out there for you but have you thought of hypnotherapy? some people use it as pain relief as well! I was scared and then was thrown in to it at 5 and a half months and was told I had to terminate my preg, I thought they gave me a pill and he would flop out....nope 16.5 hours labour, but even then it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, and I have a 0 pain tolerance!!! I had no painkillers. speak to your doctor, or even a counsellor or a psychologist for alternative actions (to help through the birth process)
Good Luck let me know how your getting on!
oh I am now 5 months preg with our second baby and all is fantastic!
You need to address this with your midwife/dr etc right away. You have a legitamate phobia, there is no doubt about that from what you described and it needs to be taken seriously as it dramatically affects your life (so much that you could have avoided pregnancy and birth altogether) I don't know what can be done to tackle the phobia with in generally accepted medicine.

I do know that something signifcant happened the triggered it! You may not remember it because it's supressed. It may be something very insignificant in an adults mind so your parents may not even connect it to what your experiencing now if you were to ask them. But this is what you need to sort out. You can try all day long to face your fears but until you sort out what triggered it in the first place and face that you may find it's always there. I am not sure if it will work but try seeing a Kinesiologist. Kinesiologists are alternative health practioners who work with how your brain works. It's worth a try.

Best wishes!

Mum of Ondene Rose 27/6/2006, EDD Baby Boy 11 Feb

Hello Vic220

Firstly congrats on your pregnancy and well done for taking the plunge! I just wanted to add to what the other posters had said, they were all very good replies too may I add!

Now I understand that what you go through is quite severe and I myself do not experience anything similar - I have just been really terrified of giving birth myself - to the point where I considered termination my pregnancy just because of that reason...

Firstly, I am now 34 weeks (just 6 weeks to go!!) You are just 7 weeks - I promise that as time goes on you will become more relaxed. I used to get nervous sitting in the waiting room just for a check up! But - it's one of those things that are new and unknown & thankfully you DO have time to prepare for.

The way I have learnt to look at it is, once in labour - you are in this pain for a reason... your body has had years of preparing for this & it's the most natural thing in the world for your body to produce a baby... Your pain isn't caused due to an accident or something similar - you're not in any danger & everything that appears (blood etc) is all part of the beautiful process of your baby.

At least you will have something to look forward to after the ordeal - and hold. You might find you forget about it all once everything gets going - just keep the picture of your beatiful healthy little baby in your head... and remember, pain is all in your head and you DO have some control over it.

Goodluck, stay calm, I promise you will be fine!

Amanda smile




HI,
Firstly let me say NO YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON Or not a 'real woman'If you don't give birth naturally!
I had a 34hr birth drug free and trust me you get no medals, awards or "mother of the year" for it!
I work with a lot of people who have seizures, and some of them do know that they are about to have one, before they go into a fit.
Because you have had a similar experience before -seizure or no seizure, your dr or midwife may class you a 'high risk pregnancy' meaning they will monitor you more towards the end of your pregnancy and during the birth.
During my pregnancy i tried hypnotherapy and i didn't work for me at all (I was high risk due to health issues). I found I was too distracted.
There is no sure way to be prepared for the birth of you child, every woman's body and baby is different, and it may not go 'text book'.
Just try your hardest to stay healthy, stress free (as much as possible) and relaxed- and that's all you can do. Good luck!
hi i'm sarah i'm 15weeks preg and it's also my 1st baby i'm in the same postision as you been dianogised with epilepsy at 17 i was having all the fits falling down and full shaking but they did another eeg and that came back normal and i'm very scared of giving birth anyway here is my email addy it is [email protected] if you need to talk to someone that is in the same position as you apperently it is good to talk to other people that is in the same vote as you.

sarah

sarah

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