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when to tell people Lock Rss

Hi all,

Ok so we are ttc at the moment but we already have 2 boys 8 and 6 years and we just lost our dughter at christmas time at 20 week. Both boys i came out with it as soon as the doc said yes and same with our girl.

But having a mc at 20 weeks i was shocked and upset and everyone kept asking these questions and saying i am so sorry etc and the whole thing through me off having another baby.

I told my hubby the other day when we do fall again i don't want anyone to know (exept the people who have to like our managers and mother etc) because that way if this happens again its only me, my hubby, my work and my mum and dad who will know and be their (as my mum takes my kids to school etc so i can work).

What are your thoughts on telling people after i have my 20 week scan? I want to tell them a nice way to not just hay we are having a baby in a couple of months.

Anyone done the same/

TTC a baby girl

Hi working-mummy-of-2.

I have not been in your situation, so first of all, I am sorry to ready of your loss. When the time comes, I hope you have the stickiest one you can get smile

We are currently 5ish weeks, and have decided not to tell anyone (I did tell a colleague when asking for business advise - but our contract with me means it has to be confidential anyway) until at least the 12 weeks. I am pretty private about personal things, and I would like to deal with any sad news ourselves.

I would LOVE to wait until 20 weeks, particularly for 'everyone else' like Facebook and text friends. I think I would have to tell family and close friends earlier. How to tell those special people - I have NO idea. I live away from a lot of my special people, and, I just don't know how to make it special for them. My parents especially.

I hope whatever you decide, it is an awesome moment for you
Hi working-mummy-of-2,

I'm sorry to hear of your lose, it is never easy. We miscarried at 13 weeks and we had already told our families very early on as my grandmother was about to start her first round of chemotherapy, it was heart breaking to have to tell her the news later.

I was very hesitant to tell family and friends when we fell again a short time later, I even held off going to the Dr as I didn't want to know then be broken again. In the end I waited until our 20 week then arranged for a family dinner (x2 - as each family lives at opposite ends of the state). They all understood why we had waited to tell them and where wonderfully supportive.

How ever you choose to let them know I'm sure they will be just as supportive and delighted for you.
We waited with both pregnancies until i was about 16 or so weeks but i would have been happy if we waited longer! I felt better knowing by then that the chances were a bit better and although i had no reason to be worried of a bad outcome the idea of having to tell everyone if i had a miscarriage was just too much. My sister found out and told everyone straight away as she had no reason to worry either but she had a miscarriage when she was 9 weeks pregnant and didnt want to tell anyone! Its a really hard time and if you want to keep it with just you given your history i am sure everyone would understand if you told them later. My sister is going to try for another baby and this time she will not be telling anyone until her 20 week scan either.

How terrible !!! although I have had endometriosis for over 20 years, i was certainly shocked as we fell pregnant last year naturally - even with my endo and cysts... Although we knew there could be chance of miscarriage we actually told our family straight away and were absolutely blessed to go the full 39 weeks and 4 days and our daughter talia was born 4 months ago yesterday... I think telling our family and closest friends would have helped if anything bad did happen but i dont think that everyone needs to know
I am in a similar situation. I miscarried in March at exactly 12 weeks. I am now 12 weeks preg again and having an ultrasound tomorrow. I must say its a very nerve wracking time. We think we will tell our families at 14 weeks, then our friends as we see them. Its becoming quite obvious as I am pregnant as this will be my third child. I don't think I could hide it until 20 weeks.
Good luck!!
I'm so sorry for your loss. With my current pregnancy we only told our parents that we were pregnant but no one else until 20 weeks as this pregnancy has been one complication after another and we did not know if our baby was going to survive. If the worst was to happen I did not want to have go throu telling everyone we had lost the baby. No one said anything to us about why we waited so long to say anything, everyone was just happy about the news smile
All the best

thanks girl.

Yes its very hard to hold it in but it was harder to tell the people i love that i lost it.

We are in the middle of doing our house up and plan on inviting people over to have a look on a date and then we will be holding a baby shower the same day but not tell anyone (as we don't want and need presents for the baby as we already have a load of things).

i own a small home business and do parties and stuff and wse have a back room that will be our "entertainment room" and i will be decorating that up with baby shower stuff and once everyone get to our house hubby will be asking them to come into our entertainment room as it has more room for all of us.

thanks girls i sure do love huggies

TTC a baby girl

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