Having a really bad day.

hi everyone,
today is so not my day! i was texting my partner this morning asking him to help abit more around the house and he text me back saying 2people had told him he's ruined his life by having a kid and that they feel sorry for him. now i feel like its all my fault, well in a way it is coz i wanted to keep the baby. he's 18 and im 17. i was just so shocked at the text i just sat ther crying. i feel likei've ruined his life:(

firstly I want to send you a big hug, You have not ruined his life, and it is not your fault i do believe that it takes two to make a baby so I am asuming that your partner was involved in this process.

Bring a child into this world is the most beautiful thing that we can do, keep your chin up and feel proud of this little person growing inside you I know it is hard but don't think about what others say they obviously do not have children and know the joy they bring. As for your partner sit down and talk to him about what will happen when your baby is born. I hope you feel better about this soon and lastly it is not your fault.

Hi Sarah

I am sorry to hear you are having an awful day. I think if your partner did not want to be there he wouldn't be and sometimes people say things that are hurtful when they are just having a bad day themselves.

When your partner meets your new baby and gets to know him/her he will realise it does not ruin your life it enriches it and fills it with purpose.

Also it takes two to make a baby so don't feel like you are the only one responsible for the life changes ahead.

I really hope you feel better soon.

Kristi

I'm really sorry that you are feeling blue. You are both under a little bit of emotional stress at the moment and things will look better when you look back on this time.

You haven't ruined his life at all. He needs to take just as much responsibility for his child as you.

My suggestion would be to leave the texting for today and try to relax. Discussing serious concerns and issues are best left done face to face because texting (and email) can take the emotions away from the meaning of words and it is very easy to get carried away with things.

Hello

Thats a terrible thing to have him say to you and I think whoever those other people are who said that to him should mind their own business.
Ive had the same thing said to me when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and its quite hurtful. This woman was a friend of my partner's mother and told me "I can give you the third degree because i can, so you realise you've not only ruined your own life but your partner's as well". Needless to say I told her exactly where to go.
But all that aside, you haven't ruined your life and don't feel guilty that you may have ruined his because he's an adult and needs to take responsibility for his own actions, not blame them on you. I mean he isn't all innocent, he was the one who fathered the child.
A child doesn't ruin your life, you'll get through this.

Bec xo

Hi Sarah,

Just reading your post, I was wondering how your partner would be reacting if 2 people had told him it's the best thing they've ever done and how excited he must be? He seems to be swayed by what other people say, and not form his own opinion! If you give everyone a chance to voice their opinion, you'll see so many different reactions, and he can't follow them all! Ask him to really think about having a baby, all the good times it will bring and how he will have a little form of you and him together, and ask him to form his own opinion!

Some people should keep their mouths shut, but as I've found a lot of people feel they can be so rude when you're expecting! Don't take any notice of what they say, there's a reason it's called a miracle! He'll see that soon enough.

Take care,

Tracey