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help just found out my baby has down syndrome Lock Rss

Hello my name is sarah. Im a single mum of 2 beautiful kids khylan james who is 3 and Imijen rose 21mths. My partner of 5 yrs left us for someone else when i found out i was pregnant so i have been trying to deal with that and today i found out my baby has a good chance of down syndrome. i am nearly 20 wks pregnant and i have no idea what to do. I'd love to talk to other mums who have been down this path. I have very little information about DS but i do know there are lots of options i can take. I do NOT want to termanate the pregnancy unless it is really necessery. But i do want to know the good and bad of raising 2 young children and a baby with DS and because i am a single mother i just dont know where to start. I have been told about the 2 types of foster care and also adoption. But i would just love to hear from other mums to talk to about DS children
xoxoxoxo

mummy of 3 another on way

Hi, I can't say that I can relate or give advice. I just read your post out to my DH and we are both sorry to hear what you are going through. Just wanted to say that I admire single mums like you and to stay positive and strong. **BIG HUGS** and all the best.

Linda ~ DD1: 10/01/06 ~ DD2: 26/06/07

Hi
Im so sorry for you
I cannot say that I have raised a child with downsyndrome but I have worked with children and adults with disabilities including downsyndrome for nearly 7 years
There are many services in the community that can help you with raising your child, there are extra health concerns for you to be concerned about but in saying that I do know of lots of people with downsyndrome who live happy full and productive lives, including having jobs living in thier own homes with minimal assistance etc
Here are some links for you to look at they may not all be relevant but I hope they help
Good Luck
As an after thought are you 100% sure unless they have DNA evidence proving that your baby has a defect of the 21st Chromosome then it is not 100% that your child will have downs
www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/DSA_NewParents.aspx
www.aafp.org/afp/20000815/837ph.html
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/0607_down_syndr.htm
Good Luck
Hi

I am really sorry that you are having to go through all this on your own. I have massive amounts of respect for single mum's, you guys work so hard! When our DS was diagnosed with a congenital abnormality we were advised that you can apply for help with things like the housework, child care and carers assistance. I rang the council to see what they could help me with, and got more local numbers and adresses (and I hate to say it: reams of paperwork) from there. There should be access to your support groups from a specialised clinic for Downs in your local childrens hospital. If you look in your phonebook in the governement section you might find something there too?

Sorry I can't help any more than that. Keep strong.

Victoria xx
Post deleted by administrator.
Hi Sarah,

Sorry to hear of your predicament. It must be such a stressful time for you. I can't offer much advice on raising a child with Down's, I just thought I would tell you my friends story.

Are you 100% sure your baby has downs? I ask this as my friend was told her child had 1:157 chance of having down's so she went to genetic counselling, had amnio done and lots of other tests and everything came out clear and she had a healthy baby boy. She then got preg again and this time they said she had 1:82 chance. Again she had all the tests and couselling and she just gave birth to another perfect boy.

So before you make your decision, have the counselling and the amnio or CVS. Get as much info as you can and then see what may come of the situation.

Good luck with it all

Gold coast, DD 3.5years, DD 15mths #3 on the way

So sorry to hear about what is happening in your life. I cant really help with downs as I don't know alot about it but my Dad and step Mum raised 3 kids, I was the oldest my brother 9 years younger than me and my step Sister was 2 years younger. My step Sister was mentally handicapped and was basically a vegetable, but my parent brought her up with us 2. They did a great job in a really tough situation. I think that if my parent can do something like that with such a broken family parents can do anything.
Good luck, I know that you will be a good Mum cos you want to keep baby regardless and your kids will have the unique opertunity to grow in a very special family.

Mother of Caleb & Lotti & Jacob

i am so sorry to hear whats going on in ur life, this must be so hard on u, i can only imagine what urgoing thru. u seem very strong given the situation and i admire that.

i think u should to sum tests that were mentioned above- that way u can be 100% sure with what ur dealing with and maybe come to terms with it better rather then not knowing 100% IYKWIM- my aunty worked with DS ppl and disabled ppl most of the DS ppl lead a happy and fufilling life. there are so many things out there that can help u out. dont give up and stay strong u are amazing

Hi,
Hope your all coping in this very stressful time, just thought to pop in this link http://www.nzdsa.org.nz/ it´s for the down syndrome site in nz, they have forums ect that may help more than me.

My Aunty has 5 kids one of which has downs, and it can be hard to spot him out from the others. They love him to death and keep saying they couldn´t think of not having him in there life.

Have you read the short story Welcome to Holland? see below link http://www.1xx.co.nz/stories/story.114458.html
Good luck and hope all goes well.

Steve
Firstly, I am sooo sorry that you are going through this.

I think you need to find out for sure to prepare yourself and your children.
When I was pregnant with DS- Dominik, I had the NTS scan. The results came back that he had 1:100 chance of have downs (very high for a 27 yrs old! DH and I decided that I would have the CVS test to find out for sure. (we paid extra for what is called FISH results that come back within 48hrs instead of a 2 week wait)
I am happy to say my son is genetically perfect!
Same happened again when I was pregnant with DD-Annika (very rare to happen twice) except this time it looked like she had severe mental and physical abnormalities (chromosomes 13 or 18) and I had the CVS again. All clear.
It helped getting through my pregnacies just knowing.


Good luck with it all.

1 monkey, 1 diva = the love of my life

Good on you for your decision to keep the beautiful child growing inside you. Firstly I just wanted to encourage you and let you know you wont be alone. There are so many support groups out there that i'm sure you will not have to go it alone. My neice was born with Cystic Fibrosis and she is the mose gorgeous, loving child. She is 1yr old and to date the prediction that she would be in hospital regularly has not been a reality. She has been so well and appart from huge amounts of medication as a precauction you would not even guess there was a problem.
If my sister in law had terminated we would not have had the joy of this little girl in our lives. Every child is unique and some are extra unique.

As some of the other mums have said there is still every possibility that your child is born without downs. Enjoy your pregnancy and just seeing your baby for the first time when it is born will ease some of the fears that you may have.

Remember that the CVS and amnio carry risks and if you would not abort than think carefully about carrying out tests that put your baby at risk. I have the risk of a child with Cystic fibrosis but am not going to risk sharing those first few moments with my child. We have too many testing options these days that just confuse us too much.

Good luck with the days and months ahead. I wish i could give you a big hug right now. (along with many other mummies.)

Hi.
I have worked with DS both adults and children and they are extremely affectionate and loving.
I am 38 in Dec, preg with my first and having nuchal scan on fri which I am a bit apprehensive about but have been doing alot of reading lately and even if your baby is deemed to be "high risk" for DS, there is still, apparently quite a low chance that it actually has DS so dont give up hope. Have you had amnio or just nuchal scan?
Take care and all the best.
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