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Other people's opinions just aren't welcome! Lock Rss

Hi there, I am 22 weeks and am 23 years old, I've found mostly that people are quite supportive and kind, I have been scrutinized over my age though, even though I am married etc. people just can't help themselves but have an opinion, some say I am too young, others say that I look too skinny to have a baby - well excuse me, mind your own business!! Has anyone else had any negative reactions from people you know or work with while being pregnant??

Bianca, Qld, mum of Jaida (14mths old)

Hi Bianca

I have just turned 27 and have a 21 month old and a 4 month old. I got married when I was 23. When I was 5 months pregnant with my first baby I turned 25. I too received quite a few negative comments from people at work. I got sick of people saying that I was too young to have a baby. It really bothered me at first but I just told them I was very happy about it and that people used to have babies young 20 years ago so why not do it that way these days?!

People also commented on how young I was to get married. When my husband and I went house hunting with his parents, agents thought we were still in high school and looked shocked when we told them that WE were the ones looking to buy a house not my husbands parents!

As far as the skinny comments go, if your body was not within a healthy weight range for your body type you would not have even been able to conceive! That is just nasty people saying you are too thin to have a baby. I think sometimes people can be envious/jealous and take it out on others through comments such as those.

I know its easier said than done but try not to let it get to you too much. Wait for the comments you get when you have actually had the baby!! Every mum regardless of age can tell you about what people have said to them about how to raise their children!

I hope you have a really enjoyable pregnancy and all the best for the birth

Kristi


4 lovely munchkins DD 10/03, DD 03/05, DS 10/06 &

Bianca

I am 23 years old, married and 33 weeks pregnant with our first. I haven't had any comments about my age ( YET ) but i have noticed that at our antenatal classes or everything we go to in regards to the pregnancy we seem to be the youngest and we get some funny looks off of the others.

I keep getting told by my darling mother in law (how doesn't think before opening her mouth) that I am going to have a huge baby. My friends who are pregnant at the same time as me are having small babies apparently (according to my mil) because they were SKINNY when they fell pregnant. this bothers me because I don't like being told that I was a fat cow before I fell pregnant especially seeing that I had lost 23 kilos on a big diet i went on.......... sorry for that but I needed to vent...

anyhoo, i think we still have lots of comments to look forward to especially once we have had the baby and people start trying to tell us how we should be doing things.... I know that isn't going to go down well with me but what can we do??????

Regards
Ando

mummaof3

hi, Had my first at 20yo. Yep unmarried wow you should of heard everyones snide remarks hmm we she's in year 12 and doing very so alls well there. I've since married and have had 2 more children both lovable and happy kids. Now at 37yo i'm having number 4....Now you should hear the comments now i'm to old.. first time i was to young now i'm to old... you can't win. I figure that these people must live very unforfilling lives as they have nothing better to do than pick faults with others.

lin,vic,2yo!!

i completely know wot u mean, bianca. im 17 (alot younger than 23!) and expecting my bubz early august. i have always been skinny and i constantly get comments on my size now, aparantly im way 2 small for 38weeks, but scans show bubz is healthy weight! as u cant tell that im pregnant from bhind, people get a shock when i turn around and they just stare at my tum. it sucks! i say try to put other peoples nast comments behind you and keep positive, everyones different!
Oh boy, where to start.

Firstly, I also had my 1st child at 25, but because of my height (under 5 ft) I looked younger. And later into the preg, from about 7 mths onwards, I had people stop and stare at me. So I totally sympathise with people getting stares, comments, etc from unwelcome people, especially on the presumption of age.

I read recently that other peoples opinions are reflections on themselves. If they judge you, who are they to judge? Are they somehow better, than you or I? Most often not. I try not to judge others and parenting, pregnancy is not black and white.

My pet peeve with unwanted advice is that people presume that: a) you know close to nothing, b) their advice is very important & c) we actually care and are going to do as they advice.

During my 1st preg my mum was the worst with outdated, unwanted advice. This time around mum has pay-tv and is ringing me with useful info and tips, usually accompanied by the line 'you might find this useful' or 'try it if you want.' Knowledge is a real eye opener.

Best wishes to all.
I know what you mean i was 21 when i fell preg with my son i was married to and now am 23 and preg with our second one. Me to get lots of looks from people and i hate it they think i am to young to have 2 kids well almost.

Hope you give them as much back LOL cause i do as well.

Pamela
[email protected]

TTC a baby girl
https://www.facebook.com/Homemade.by.pamela

Hi Bianca,
Add another pregnant lady to your list! haha. I was nearly 24 when I got pregnant with my first. Id been with my partner since 17 and we had been living together since 18. Yes, it was unplanned, but we were willing to take on the challenge of parents as we were in a loving relationship. My partner's(who is now my husband) father was the worst offender of all. He told us that our baby would be cursed because it would be born out of wedlock..fancy saying that to your own son, and about your own grandchild! I was disgusted. He wasnt the only one to go on about having a baby out of wedlock..and you know what makes it worse today...Hubby and i still have the same relationship as we did all those years ago, (yes we are a little older (29)), but it is now totally acceptable for us to have this little unborn child?? My born son is still as important and precious as this little bundle we are about to have, I just wished people could have been as supportive last time around (Hubby's dad is dying to take a trip to see us when baby arrives, yet he took 8 months to come down to see our son). It makes me feel really sick. Every child is precious, no matter how or when they are conceived.

Jules

Anything you can think of i've copped it! I was 20 when I had my first-too young, ruined your life, never be anything but a mum, ruin your figure. I then fell pregnant (planned!) four months after I had her-too soon, you won't cope, ohmigod you're crazy, and when I found out it was twins they all came out of the woodwork- poor you having twins (definetely most offensive) all the kids will be disadvanteged somehow, you're huge, you're stupid not having a caeser, you'll never have any money/life/time etc and now am pregnant again, five months after having the twins (planned again!). Barely anyone has been happy for us, it's like we're doing something wrong having another one (or two?), and some people are obviously disgusted and horrified. I have gotten to the point where I am as rude to them as they are to me. But....all these negative people have none or one or two kids with a huge gap so have no idea. And all the people with big families tell me how happy we'll be. I'll go with experience! So just smile sweetly and walk off!

Kelly, 22, 1 @ 25/1/04, 2 @9/3/05, [email protected]/4/06

I was 22 when I had my first, 24 when I had my second and I will be 25 when I have my third. I am married, have a mortgage, and all the pressures that come with being young with responsibility. And with a low/middle income it is sometimes difficult.

I know plenty of people who have more money, more possessions, and less pressures that arn't half as happy as we are. My husband and I wanted a young family, now we do, and we couldn't be happier.


Hayley, NSW, Liam 07/02, Beth 09/04, Nate 03/06

Hi
I had my first baby when I was 19, and also found a lot of judgemental people out there, some even had the gaull to say that we wouldn't last, well ha ha to them because baby number 3 and 13 years later we are still together, good on you for starting your family when you are ready and don't take any notice of the jealous twits that critisise, I don't regret starting young even though my first was an accident, I just found out 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant with my third, oop's and some people have already asked me if its my second marraige just because of the gap between my kids. You know two of the people that commented on my starting a family young are now divorced despit waiting to have kids, you should do what is reight for your and your husband and tell them to mind there business.
hey all, i was 22 when i fell pregnant with my DD and im now 23 and 29 weeks preggas. i got treated like crap by hospital staff when i had my DD cause i was "young". it didnt matter that i was married it was the age factor. this time round im getting the "every time i see you your pregnant" from friends who i havent seen since dd was born, which in my oppinion, is like saying "everytime i see you your fat". i really hate it and im over it!!
good luck with all of your pregnancys and births i wish you all the best for the future
Lisa xoxo

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