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  5. Husband Works Away - Feeling like he's missing out

Husband Works Away - Feeling like he's missing out Lock Rss

Hello everyone. I'm 5 months pregnant dues on the 20th of Decemeber.

My husband works up in the Pilbra drilling and is away 2 weeks with 1 week home. I feel as though he's missing out on a lot on my pregnancy and our childs growth development. We just had our 18th Week Ultrasound and although he was over the moon about it, he still said that it felt "abstract" to him.

To be fair to him, he rings every second day, has taken numerous baby books up to the mine site with him, asks loads of questions and is always supportive and always attends Doctors appointments when he can.

I guess my question is, do men in general feel less involved with pregnancies simply because they are not physically experiencing pregnancy themselves, regardless if they work away from home or come home each night?

I'd love some feedback on this, especially from women who's husbands do work away like mine.

Take care everyone...Rhatri.
[Edited on 05/08/2007]

I think that generally men do feel a bit left out of the whole pregnancy process, although living away so much may make your hubby feel more so.

But not being able to even imagine what it feels like for a baby to move inside you, and all the other things we experience when we're pregnant, must make them feel like they are missing out on a lot. Just remind him that for all the exciting stuff he is missing out on, he is also missing the pain! lol. Although, in fairness, they apparently really hate seeing the labour for seeing the one they love so much in so much pain (so ive been told...)

My husband doesn't work away from home, and it is still hard for him to feel very involved in the pregnancy... there are a lot of things he feels quite helpless about. So I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and your husband.


Ava May 18/11/05 & Rori Elaine (stillborn) 6/8/07

My hubby works away. For the first two pregnancies he had a job where he came home every night, but with number three he had his FIFO job, same roster as your DH. I really didnt see much difference between his reaction to the pregnancies, same as your DH, all abit abstract.

I love DH working away, just me and the kids doing our own thing.



I know its hard but try to count your blessings. At least he is making as much effort as he can.

Good luck smile
[Edited on 09/09/2007]

My husband works away as well. For my first pregnancy he didn't get to attend any appts with me. He only made it to the 20 week ultrasound.

I would tell him how I was feally, what was happening etc, and he would listen, but he has since told me that he didn't really take much interest. He was just glad I was OK and the baby was growing well. I ended up having our DD 4 weeks early (the day before he was due to go for 2 weeks) so he was there are the birth and he was leaning over the doctor the whole time the baby was coming out and grab her off the Dr, so technically he held her first. He then passed her up to my chest. He has a fantastic bond with our now 21 month old. She is daddy's girl.

I am now 36 weeks pregnant with our second child and again my husband only attended the 20 week scan (which I had to re-schedule twice for him to be there).

I can't speak for all men, but I thought it was a fair comment from my husband that as long as I am happy and healthy and the baby is healthy, then he was just counting down the pregnancy time until he met his child.

I haven't worried and don't worry that he isn't into a lot of detail about the pregnancy. Don't worry too much about it.


Two little girls

my husband works near home and has been going to all the appointments with me.. but because of an important seminar oversea he mite miss out the arrival of our first baby~
I am hoping the baby woould arrive early if not it doesnt realli bother me...
would your husband be missing out on your baby;'s arrival too?
Hey Baybee80

I'm due on the 20th of December and my Husband has 6 weeks leave starting from the 13th of December. Look I might go sooner, which will be a logistical nightmare trying to get him home from Newman to Perth then back home to Melbourne, but it's one of those things that there is very little you can do about. Good luck with your pregnancy..
I hear you Rhatri, I am due on the 12th of December and DH is due back in Brisbane from Malaysia on the 9th of December...hopefully I won't go early but not much I can do about it now...will just kkep my legs crossed until at least the 9th!! I guess my OB will give me an idea of what's going on and if DH needs to come home early he will organise it.

Good luck with everything!!

Patrick 10/12/07 & Matthew 15/05/09

Rhatri.. well your lucky that ur husband will be there for you when ur giving birth... take good care of yourself so the baby will arrive on the due date~

unlucky of me and my husband if baby arrives after he goes.. but im praying everyday that she'll arrive early! im doin lots of walking and moving around to make the baby umcomfortable inside.. hehehe...

well i got less than 3 weeks to go so i'll let u know what happens~ ^^
Hi, I was reading this post as my hubby works away and just wanted to let baybee80 know that there are options to make sure hubby is there. I am due on the 10th and last thursday I had a stretch and swipe which has a 60% chance of bringing on labour naturally if your body is ready as i am already 2cms dilated, it can take up to 72hrs to work so we arranged for my husband to have Friday, Saturday off and be at home incase anything happened. Nothing happened for me so I am booked in be induced on thursday which is one day before my due date. I know some people think that this is not a great idea and bad for bub etc but it is what is best for us as a family. So have a chat to your Dr.

Amanda NSW

Hi Rhatri,

Yes, mine works up north on the mines also. He diesn't have a regular FIFO as he does the shut downs, so he can be away for up to 4 weeks at a time sometimes. I was lucky enough for him to be home for the 3 ultra sounds we had, but he hasn't been to any doctor/midwife appointments.
He does want to be with me to do the shopping for the baby though, and i don't complain about that : ) My biggest worry is him being away if i go into labour and having to wait for a flight etc.

I don't think it's the pregnancy bit so much that he's missed out on, more so like someone else mentioned, after baby is here. He has told me he no longer will work away, it's going to be a huge pay decrease, but if that's what he wants, i'm all for it too. He would hate to miss out on such lengthy periods of growth and development of baby.

I guess you can just see how it goes : ) Everything will work itself out i'm sure

Take Care

Amanda - you said you had a stretch and swipe.

I might sound really stupid but
What is that?????

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