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Hi, Just wondering how to address our 16 month old son with the news that he will have a baby sister /brother ( I am due next May) He came with my husband and I to all our scans etc. so far but is he too little to really understand what is happening. How do I get him use to the idea of having to share me with another baby as I don't want him to feel like I don't love him any more. I am just a bit worried thats all.... thanks for any advice is really appreciated.
I had my second baby in September when my first was only 18 months. We didn't tell her much about it as we thought it would create anxiety for as she wouldn't understand such an abstract idea of a baby in a belly. I let her rub my belly with moisturiser and touch it whenever she was interested but didn't force it on her. We also practised going to the doctor (going for a drive, cofee, lunch without her) so that she would be used to the idea of mummy and daddy being away for a long period when I went into hospital. Hope this helps
I don't think you can 100% prepare them for a new baby in the house. With my 2.5 yr old, we explained there was a baby in my tummy and closer the the time we explained to him that when it was time for the baby to come he would stay with his nanna then his dad would bring him to the hospital to see me and the baby. He would always refer to the baby in my tummy and kiss my tummy but we were never sure if he really understood a real baby would be living with us one day. Plus 9 mths is a really long time for a toddler!

With your DS being a little bit younger, there may not be any issues. I've got 2 friends who had their babies close together and the 1st child for each was never jealous.

I think as long as you are able to spend some one on one time with DS1, he won't feel neglected. I've just bought a baby sling so that I can carry the baby around but still have 2 hands to play with my DS1. When I'm feeding the baby I have a snack and water ready for DS1. Sometimes he sits next to us and I'll read him a book or we sing nursery rhymes or just talk while I'm feeding.

Good luck.
Hi I had my 2nd baby when my dd was just 17mths old. We told her she was having a baby brother but she didn't understand. We took her to the ultrasounds and I took her to my midwife appointments.
When Alex arrived she was still unsure, but now she loves her brother now!

They aren't too young to be told but won't completely understand.

Megan: Cathrine 21/10/06 Alex 25/03/08

I think he's too young to understand, my DD was nearly 3 and she didnt really get it until the baby was actually here and even then thought we went to the hospital and picked her up LOL. Some months later DH took DD to the hospital to visit his Dad and as they drove in DD asked him "are we getting another baby?".

Anyway I think its good in the latter stages to talk about the baby in simple terms, like the baby will sit next to you in the car, this is where baby will sleep, babies cry when they are hungry or need a cuddle - things like that. We made a book for our DD and called it "we're getting a baby"... it was very basic, one line per page with photos inserted in of me pregnant, a hospital, Drs, taking baby home, car (with car seats in it), the three of us, photos of DD as a newborn in her cot etc so a basic story personalised for our family. Whilst they may not understand the full impact (who does smile at least this kind of prepares them and familiarises them with what a new baby is about.

Once DD2 was born and would cry DD1 would inform me she must be hungry or want a cuddle... too cute smile

All the best.
Thankyou all so much for the great advice I will be certain to use it I think at the moment as there really is not too much to 'see' that I will wait till we are a bit futher into the prenancy before relly talking alot to DS about his new baby brother/sister.
We got DD1 a baby doll and told her mummy was having one and that was hers. Came in handy as we put nappies on her when we changed DD2 and 'fed' her and put to bed too. She was 16 months by the time I had DD2. I used to have baths with her and she would rub my belly and rest her head on it. Once you start showing is the best time to really start 'talking'(showing them) about it.
Now both my DDs are so close. When one wakes up she starts 'talking' to the other one. It's so cute and I'm glad they are close together!

I went the same sort of worry when I was due with Ethan. Charlotte was only 21 months at the time, and I didn't want any jealousy or her feeling rejected. What my husband and I did was buy a book called "My New Baby" by Jeannette Rowe. We wrapped it, and when my husband brought Charlotte into the hospital to visit, we gave her her present, and introduced her to Ethan. She immediately took "ownership" of Ethan, and there has been no jealousy or anything, and she still loves her book. (I think she reads it like it is about her and her brother)

Now Ethan is 1yrs, and they play together all day long. It has been surprisingly easy, but then that may be because it is a boy/girl relationship.

Hope this helps.

Hi

If your little one enjoys being read to have a look for childrens books about a new baby. My son was only 18 mths when his baby brother was born and during my pregnancy his favourite book was 'Za Za's Baby Brother' by Lynley Dodd.

Another one I found at our local library 'New Baby' it was a picture book and also showed mum breast feeding which is really hard to find in a childrens book,the first time he saw me breast feeding his brother he just walked up gently patted his head and said 'bub bub feed on mummy' and this was without any prompting.

I think these books really helped him gain a bit of understanding about what was going on. Also if you know anyone with a small baby maybe organise to hang out with them so your little one gets use to what a real baby is actually like. LOL

Take Care Gem, Mannix and Colton

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