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I need some new ideas mine aren't working sad

hehe okay, well DD is 3 in october. DF has just started a new job FIFO so he is away for 3 weeks at a time, like most children he was the one she listened to in an instant and she always tried me..
she's starting to get worse i don't know if it's because she's recently started childcare one day a week and is picking on up on other children's bad manners, her age, or the fact that it's a big change not seeing dad all the time... or a combination of them all...

she hardly listens, she is starting to backchat, and she even puts her hands on her hips and says that's not fair... she doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way, and throws herself on the ground and goes limp in shopping centres (oh the joys)
but this morning I left her site for 2 minutes to mix some farex and milk for my DS and she was in the cot with him!!! this has never happened before!!!! & it's time to take action..

I ask her not to do things, and try and explain to her why I don't want her doing it..
I send her to her room which she does immediately, and after a minute or so she casualy walks out and says that she wants to say sorry.
I do occasionally smack on the back of the hand or bottom. but that's only if she has done something really bad like hurt her brother or done something else dangerous.. I don't like doing it so I want a different approach.

I've been thinking of trying time out? I'm not sure what else I can do.

My 3 year old is generally good but when he isnt....
*I found that sending him to his room doesnt work, he either jumps on the bed or reads books (which he loves, but then still doesnt do what he is asked)
*Counting to 3 works the best for me, if i get to three i 'smack' him. i only rarely get to three because it always works by the count of three. i dont like smacking him, but thankfully the threat of a smack is all it takes.

If you are sending you Dd to her room, maybe try and make her stay in there eg get a chair and sit at her door if she keeps coming out, when she comes out get her and put her on her bed. try making it a timed thing eg, go to your room for five minutes. and make sure it is five minutes

I read the other day about this similar technique described above called Magic 1,2,3 by Dr Phelan or something like that.

Basically if your child wants something they can't have or is doing something they shouldn't etc you give a brief explanation eg "I understand you are hungry but you can't have a sandwich/cookie/whatever right now, dinner is in 10 minutes you can wait please". And from then on you don't don't negotiate. If they whine or backchat you say firmly and calmly "that's one", if they continue "that's two", if they continue or throw tantrum "that's three" and march them straight to time out.

No negotiation, no airy fairy explanations and blathering on and on trying to reason with them. You explain briefly at the start why not or what you expect of them and that's that.

Dunno...could be worth a crack? I haven't tried it yet as my son is only 2...he doesn't seem to comprehend half of what I say to him yet.

Oh yeah and apparently time out should be boring eg laundry or somewhere safe but boring. Not into their room with toys etc.

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