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Not sure if I can do it Rss

So, I have an almost 2 year old, a 3 year old and an older one at school.
I've lined up a family day carer for the younger two this year, just one day a week.
We visited yesterday, and they loved it, BUT I was there the whole time.

Now I'm having second thoughts (have all along really). They've never been to care, never had anyone look after them other than their Dad and me. The youngest won't let anyone except me do anything for her most of the time. Dad works longish hours and travels away from time to time, so they are very reliant on me always, even though he's excellent with them.

I don't need the care to go to work, I just need a break, some time to go to the dentist, buy a bra, get my hair cut etc, without 2 or 3 kids in tow. I'm feeling like it's really selfish of me. The only time I get without them is a few hours on a weekend afternoon, when I can run off to the shops if I need to, but usually I'm too tired, or we have other things on.

I don't have parents that can take them, they're working. I don't really need a whole day a week, just a day a month would be great, but you can't book childcare like that.
The 3 year old goes to kindy next year, and we go to playroup and swimming and things during the week, so we do get out and about.
Should I put them in care or just suck it up for another year or two?
not sure if they do this where you are but there is occasional childcare where you book them in when ever you need-one a month, or once a fornight-whenever you have appointments etc.

oh and you are not selfish being a mummy is hard work and we deserve a break to be ourselves. no mummy guilts i'm sure they will love it.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

Thanks. Ilovemylilbugs, I am feeling very guilty.
Other people I know with young kids that don't do care, seem to have other adults, grandparents etc who give them a bit of time out here and there.
Mummsy, Most of my friends don't have such small kids, they are all my eldests age, or off at school already, so I don't feel asking them to watch my 2 ad 3 year old is a fair ask.
I'm a control freak too, but do really trust this carer, she cared for my first when she was little and I was working.
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