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Hello I am reading all these comments from mothers about how advenced there child is but does any one not know that there first child is usually much brighter then others that are second born. it doesnt need to be first born all the time either it could be that you have other children but they are at school and you have heaps more time on your hands to sit down and do things with them. to tell you the truth making them advenced by getting them to do these sort of stuff at a young age is more likely to make them rebelluos when they are older. it has been studied and proven. we learnt that in Psychology or womb to adults
If you are so sure your child is gifted go to a specialest and pay a few hundred dollars to see what they think and what they suggest to do. cause nature gifted children will be realised and also first borns walk talk and do everything else jjust about earlier so stop competeting with each other and comparing kids because kids are individuals and develop at there own rate and if they were gifted and they go to daycare/ preschool the school teachers ask about advencing them into the above group like with my son and daughter he/she was 17mths and was asked to be advenced into the 3year old group. I personally say no not until they get a Psychologest in to see him/her levels and to see whether or not it would effect there learning behavour with people there own age along with the pros and cons. We know my babies are smart but we dont know about the aveergage for how much time your spent with them. I mean there are mothers out tehre that have to go straight back to work as soon as they are born because they are sigle mothers batteling the fight to make sure they have a good up bring for there children and there are mothers like yourselfs who sit down and spend alot of there time teaching there kids stuff. neither one of you make you a better mother then the other. but it does make a difference on the child because a child with a mother there along there side all the time are brighter because they have more one on one time. but this can also be a negitive thing latter on in life. so be careful your children may be smar tna advenced but if you really think so your child can and will be offered a baby scolar if your childcare teachers and preschool teachers know they do and can contact a psychologest in to assess them. and if other kids arnt up to the standard your kids are does mean your child is advenced your child is its own individual and has had a different upbring to other children.
Yeah maybe Your child is gifted but I can assure you that there isnt very may kids out there that can really be considered as gifted.
I ahvea niece who can tell you the alphbet back to front inside out and nows how to count to 100 and can tie shoe laces and can talk your ears off she is 3 1/5 but she has been to psychologests on recommendation from her preschool the psychologest said she is smart but not gifted and yes she could be advenced in her age but you cant be sure studies are based on kids that are 1st born to last born and she may seem very smart and stuff but she may be avage for someone that has had the same incouragement at home.
so really all kids are individuals and they make a average to assess austism kids off and downs and people with general disabilities but they dont really see the avege until much later on in development not at 2 years or 4 years not even much in 6 years
so remeber kids are individuals.

I agree. I was classed as a gifted child, my IQ was recorded at between 140-150. I kmew all my colors by 20 mths and could read before I started school. I did well all thru primary school, but I always felt a deep pressure to suceed because I am bright. As a result I rebelled as a teenager and ran away from home and dropped ot of school at 15. I also suffer from clinical depression - it is well researched that gifted people have a much higher incidence of mental illness.
i am now 23 and have 2 girls. A friend didn't understand why when I was pregnant I said I didn't want my children to be gifted. I don't want them to be stupid of couse, but I also don't want them to have the same problems I have had. I have just completed a degree in Communication and my life is back on track now but I wouldn't wish the pain I have expeienced on anyone.
Unfortunately my youngest daughter who is now 13 mths is very advanced for her age. Gross motor skills are not an indicator of intelligence (eg. early walking) but advanced fine motor skills and cognitive development are. She already knows 10-12 words and understand lots of simple commands. Her developmental age was recorded by our Plunket nurse as 15 mths just befoe her first birthday.
By all means encourage your children, foster thier love of learning, but don't let encouragement become pressure four your young children because this can cause them a lot of emotional confusion and distress.

Mum to Maya Grace 02-03, Sienna & Mercedes 10-06

I think my message (addressed to Dee) was misunderstood. This is not about competition, nor about who's kid is the brightest/smartest/best, it is about doing the best thing for our children. My daughter still plays, goes to preschool, does all the things other little girls do, but the constant querying and questioning and interest in things like the alphabet, numbers etc cannot, and should not, be ignored. What should we do, say no, don't worry about that until you are 5, go and play? I answer every single one of my daughters questions as fully as possible, but there is the nagging doubt that, as I put to Dee, I am not 'quenching the thirst' that she has to know things. The minute she gets bored with something, we stop. I never push. And competing was certainly not my reason for my post, but rather wanting to share knowledge. I don't see why that is so bad.

Regarding emmy-lou's post, my parents tell me I was so-called gifted when small, but they decided not to push (ie. put me into a higher grade in primary school etc), but I was always told this, and I believe, from this knowledge (or belief) from a young age that I was 'gifted', I did not rebel as such, but thought I did not have to put any effort in to do well, thus, didn't, and did not do well!! It is only with a bit of maturing that I went back and just finished my degree (in a field I always wanted to go into in high school), but worked my butt off doing so, thus I think that although pressure on kids to do well is bad, the opposite is also not so good, as you think everything will just come easily, but as we all know, it does not, you still have to put some effort into it. Anyway these are my thoughts.

Danielle, Vic, Mum of 3

Hi Danielle

Oh boy, what a feedback to your message you have had. You are right, this isn't about competition, BUT it is about doing what is best for our children and feeding their thirst for knowledge at their own pace. Children will always ask questions, and they should be given answers to their questions.
You are doing a great job so far, and your little girl is certainly getting the best for her all round, as she is still being allowed to be a child, yet you are giving her the answers to her questions which is good.
Our little one is now 3.5 years old. She can write, spell (3-4 letter words she knows) add and subtract between 1-10, and recognises any number between 1-100, the vowels, and can tell you the phonics for the letters. She knows the beginning and ending sounds of words, and what the letters of ythose sounds are. She can tell you what the primary colours are and what they make when you mix them. She also does all the normal kiddy things like Preschool, swimming lessons, dance class and goes to the library (her favourite place apart from the bookstore). We started her at a Pre Reading class once a week about a month ago, and she really loves it there.
In answer to your question regarding what I do with her, I spend alot of time with her and the only time we are really apart is 1 day when she is at Preschool, so we do get alot of quality time together. We read alot (she loves the Dr Seuss books), paint, do jigsaws, craft, and go out on picnics to the lake or the beach where she collects things like leaves and shells to do some craft with at home. to teach her sums, we count her collection in different ways, adding and subtracting to show her the difference. A few weeks ago, she made a nest out of twigs and leaves she had collected. She loves animals and nature, and we were talking about birds that day, so I made that the topic of the day for her.
There are a number of educational websites which have activties for kids and our little girl really enjoys going on these sites. She also has a couple of computer games of her own which she plays once in a while.
I hope this has helped. You can always email me on dee@asp-help.com. I probably check that more often than going onto the huggies site these days.
Hear from you soon maybe.
Dee

Dee

Danielle,
Don't think I was trying to be critical, I was just sharing my own personal experience and the outcome of that for me. I don't think my problems were caused because my mother spent time reading, counting etc. with me as a toddler. i think these things are crucial to early development whatever a childs ability.
rather, my father put a lot of pressure on me to be 'top of the class' all the time, and like you, I thought that being bright meant I didn't have to work hard. This had disastrous results. Also, like you, I have known since childhood what I wanted to do with my life, but it has taken the maturity of adulthood to actually realise this dream. Once I set my mind to it, getting a degree wasn't that difficult (although Maya arrived halfway thru lol).
So please don't take offence to what I said. I don't want to discourage people from teaching and developing their childrens young minds, but rather discouraging stigmatising young children with the title 'gifted' or 'advanced'because this is very hard to shake off.

Mum to Maya Grace 02-03, Sienna & Mercedes 10-06

i agree i wasnt trying to say dont teach your kid i was mearly saying that saying advence and gifted etc isnt something you sould start i have been told also from a young age that i was advenced and was told i was a few points under the scale of being gifted and i stiill and told i am advenced when i know i am not because i suffered from a stroke which took alot out of me and people still amke an asumption that if you were advence before you will always and will be advenced a child needs not to havr ethat on them at a young age infact a child needs to have that on them because they are childrena nd need there time to play and live life which high expectations.
so sure go ahead and read and count and stuff but dont be going on they are advenced and gifted
thanks
Hi, I was able to read and write, knew my colours and shapes etc all by age three. All through primary school I did exceptionally well and in high school I was labled a 'gifted and talented' child and put into an advance program. I found this isolated my class from the rest of our year. We also had huge amounts of pressure put on us to do well - by parents teachers and the in-class competiveness. I ended up anorexic and on the verge of a breakdown. I then moved to a public school and completely rebelled. I was smart enough to pass without trying and spent more time drunk than anything else.

It is no ones fault. I regret the choices I made but I'm doing well now. My little boy is now labled 'advanced' by many of my friends and I won't have it. It is much like worrying about who they take after. Ezrah is Ezrah. Nothing more nothing less. There is nothing wrong with being smarter or encouraging your child's lust to learn. Just watch out for the people who want to throw labels around. There are so many different ways to be gifted and all should be encouraged. All children are magical - and for all different reasons.

Continue being a great mum and giving all to your child - love, learning, everything. That is the best we can do and I'm sure all of us do it well. And having happy, healthy children is the greatest reward in return!
Hi Dee, I would not worry about pushing your daughter if she is asking you to show her things. A child knows when they are ready to learn a new skill.
It has been shown that next to a professional psychological test a parent is the best judge of a childs abilities and giftedness. Unfortunately it is not easy to be the parent of a gifted child and people who do not experience it firsthand can be judgemental thru their lack of experience with these kids.
I admit that i regularly daydream about how much easier it would be if Zac was an average child but I feel that while it is hard the rewards are great.
I am not sure what state you are in but I am in Adelaide and the Playgroup Association here has started a playgroup for gifted children so that we can all get together.
Just remenber to let your daughter guide you, she will show you when she is ready to learn new skills.

Jo,SA,mum to Zachariah 27/6/03 and Jaydon 28/9/04

Hi everyone, thanks for the interesting reading. My personal view is that all children learn at their own pace and I don't think they can learn too much too soon. Dee, if you know you're not pushing your daughter and she's happy and contented, then enjoy her and go with it. She obviously has a thirst for knowledge and hopefully that will continue into her adult life. Sounds like she has great potential to go far, and with the right guidance will be a caring, responsible adult. That's awesome.
My daughter's just turned 2 and she can put 6-7 word sentences together, knows her colours, and animals including their sounds, can count to 20 when it suits her and knows the alphabet - recognises letters and numbers. She picks things up quickly and seems quite bright - copies everything we say and remembers things like you wouldn't believe. But she's very normal in lots of other ways. I think that just shows how much children do learn at their own pace. I hope this encouragement helps.

Phillipa, Mum to Shawna 2 1/2yrs

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