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Disapline Advice PLEASE!!! Lock Rss

OK help required!!! Please - long post warning....

My beautiful well behaved child has been stolen and in his place I have a ferel 19mth old!!

Amoung many of his new bad behaviours this one is driving me nuts. He goes and gets DH's CD's out and takes the front covers out and rips them up. Then stands there and goes "ohhh noo!!". He does soooo many naughty things at the moment and I really don't know what to do with him and how to stop it. These are some of the new things he has taken to doing:
Running away from me when we are out at the park - he ran onto the road last week!
Playing in the vertical blinds (huge hanging danger)
Playing with the volumn button on the sound system that controls the tv - yes its at his level.
Squeezing his brothers face till he cries.
Screaming for everything and anything.
Growling - its like a bark - at people when they leave our house because he doesn't want them to leave.

Ok so these are the methods I have tried to get him to behave;
Time out (after 2 times in it he now takes the seat and puts it in the corner and sits on it and laughs!!)
Smack on the hand and a firm NO. Again laughing!
Diversion (I feel sometimes this is rewarding his behaviour especially when he is hitting or screaming and then I go and say - hey lets read a book!)
Loud Voice and wagging finger "NO" - he now walks round the house saying "no" and wagging his finger at me.

ahhhhhhhhh what does one do??? I know its just a stage but its also a power struggle between us (he doens't do this with his dad) and I"m loosing the battle.
Lovely little things at times aren't they !!!

I found I am continually evolving my discipline with DD. I suppose its normal as they grow and mature, but its frustrating - especially when they laugh at you or think its fun.

I think the methods you have tried are good. You can match the punishment to the crime (so to speak), including ignouring or picking your battles. I think as he grows, they will effect him more, especially time out.

I think some-thing important to do, even at 19 months is to talk to them after. Tell them what they did, how it effected you, why its naughty and what is acceptable. The only bad thing about this, well its not really bad, but is kind of - is that now DD corrects me big time. Like yesterday morning I was eating breakfast and DS was in his rocker. He 'gooed' and smiled at me, so I did it back to him - with some food in my mouth. DD spotted me and told me of. Then every-one we came into contact with yesterday was told that 'mummy spoke with her mouthful' that it was rude and I am naughty - lol.

I tell you what, you have to be on the ball with these little munchins.

Best of luck.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

Just thought I would give you some support by saying your boy is totally normal! My 2.5 year old DD is still doing alot of these things but as her common-sense increases as she gets older it is easier to negotiate out of some situations. It sounds like you are handling things very well and I do pretty much everything you do. We use the naughty corner regularly, and to start with she would sometimes laugh when put there - but not anymore as she knows that she gets completely ignored there no matter what she does to get our attention in the naughty corner. After time out we also make her say sorry and repeat what she did wrong to reinforce it.

We also use diversion before it gets to a certain point so I think you are on the right track there. I also find that warning our DD about consequences 'stop ...... or mummy will have to take it away' works sometimes. Then if she continues I'll take it away.

With the CD covers, we still go through this! There must be something very exciting about these to a toddler as nothing works to stop her taking them out of the cases other than to keep them high up and out of reach unfortunately!

The main advice I can give from my experience is to keep a calm but firm voice when disciplining her (very hard!) - some things my DD does are sooo frustrating and I find myself yelling but I have learnt that gradually she is much better behaved if I don't raise my voice - I think she learnt for a while there that it was fun for mummy to react and get mad!

With the screaming for everything, my DD still does this occasionally but we say to her 'stop crying and use your words' or 'ask nicely, you should say 'please mummy' ' and she has learnt that she doesn't get what she is wanting until she stops whinging/screaming.

Anyway best of luck, sound like you are doing a fantastic job with everything and I'm sure with the way you are going that your little gem will learn in time.


Mum to Kayla born 15.03.06 & Maya born 14.06.08

Hi there... I'm not sure I have a lot of advice for you (my DS is 14 months, and not quite up to this amount of mischief) but from your pictures, do you have a newborn? Do you think maybe DS is seeking some Mummy attention?

Just an initial thought...

We are expecting a new bub in about 5 weeks, and I wonder at times, how DS will adjust. He thinks the world is a drum & hits EVERYTHING!?
Thanks ladies - your advice and support is always so great to hear.
Yes we have a newborn and the behaviour started the second week he was home - he's now 10weeks. My beautifully behaved and sweet child changed over night - I want him back!!
His behaviour is worst when I am BF - even though I try and entertain him - ie singing, try to read to him or watch tv with him and talk about whats going on. He usually just climbs on baby and me or goes looking for trouble. He also is totally terrible outside - like when we are out for a walk together - he ran off today and got a huge smack on the hand and then dragged home. (not literally but you know). I think what I have done is over compensate for my divided attention and have tried to keep him happy and show him that my attention is still on him - that now he is spoilt for attention and when its off him for a second he tries to make it all about him again.
I know one day he will be back to his normal self but in the mean time I could just scream!!

Good luck with the new addition Crazy Baby. I hope your littlie adjusts better than mine did. He was 16 1/2mths when DS2 arrived so maybe a little young to understand what was happening?!
Yes, your 19 month old is COMPLETELY normal. I don't know if it will help, but what i can offer you is this...
* Make the punishment fit the crime, for example, breaking toys means they go in the bin, ect
* Treat the child like you would like to be treated, yelling loudly at them all the time rarely works as it makes them louder in return (that is not fun)
* Respect thier individuality, they are always testing limits to see how far they can go
* Stay consistent with your methods. He may laugh in time out but he will soon learn that it is not fun. Make sure there is NO stimulation where he goes to timeout.
* Praise his good behaviour constantly and I mean constantly. That is great sharing, good listening, what a good helper you are, I love it when you do such and such, it makes me happy that you...
* Remember that he is still learning about emotions and reactions, if it gets a good reaction, he will keep doing it.
All of these things helped with my 3 year old but I am finding I am again at square 1 with my 16 month old who is much more head strong.
Oh, and I dont want to scare you, but it gets worse... they again try the power struggle worse just after thier second birthday and again at 3. Be prepared, consistent and keep your cool. Good luck.
I have been having the same issues with my nearly 3 year old DS. I actually went to the CYH Nurse to see what I could do about discipline. Time out doesnt work because they dont understand it at this age and a tap on the hand I found doesnt work either. She told me to get down to his level, cup your hands around his face gently then in a stern tone of voice say NO. I have tried it - I didnt like the idea at first but it doesnt hurt him just gets him to focus on me totally not on anything else and it has worked!! I am a soft mother I know and I dont like doing this but he respects me when I am telling him off and not just laughing at me.

Julie, SA, mum to Thomas born 21/11/05

Hi Mason & Ben's Mum,
I can totally relate to you saying that your son changed overnight - this literally happened to my 19 month old as well - EVERYTHING is responded to with a NO! then a NO! accompanied with swinging arms and screaming!!! I miss him terribly too - he was such a neat little boy up until that fateful night when he woke up and decided to turn into the demon child!
I am hoping that consistently ignoring or not gratifying the NO's will slowly make him realise that it's not getting him where he wants to be - all fingers and toes crossed!
Keep up the good work and do let us all know if you do come up with something that works really well for you!
Caleb's Mummy
hi my boy is almost 21 months he has this bad behavouir thing going too.
i have made a naughty corner and in it is nothing no chair or anything and if he goes to get out i just simple say NO firmly and place him back in it! It works for me!
now everytime he misbehaves i simply say firmly NAUGHTY CORNER and he usually stops what he is doing and starts behaving or he gets placed in the naughty corner

Tamara ALEXANDER 30/11/06

Hi everyone my dd is alomst 22 months. I can tell similar stories as well, i think most parents can!!!!

For the last 3 months we have been counting. When she does something we consider to be wrong we warn her that she needs to stop because.....(she may hurt her self/brake something etc etc) If she dosn't stop we tell her that she will 'have to go in her room if she won't stop' and then we start counting '1 pause 2 pause 3' if she hasnt stoped I pick her up and take her to her room. I put her on a cushion thats on her floor and say 'you need to stay here and when you can listen to mummy you can come out'

sometimes she sits there for 5 seconds and comes out and gives me a hug, other times she will sit there for up to 5 minutes, its like she knows she needs some time to settle down (especially when its been for somethings like hitting and pinching which is a real favourite at the moment).
Her toys are in the family room so there is nothing really all that exciting in her room. But it always seems to calm her down, and we don't seem to be doing it as much. Now I just have to start counting and most times she will stop.We try and stay calm and not raise our voices but just change the tone of them.

Everyone will eventually find their own way that suits them and their child. But as an Early Childhood Educator I know that its really important to stay consistant and give what ever method you decide to use a decent amount of time. Don't give up after 2 trys. Remember its as new to them as it is to you. GOOD LUCK


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