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Help with developmental delay/disablility Lock Rss

I have posted previously (well over a year ago) about my nephew and his speech delay. He is now three and still only says single words... and constantly repeats the same word over and over (like no) anyho I don't think a speech delay is his main problem.

He is constantly crying/sobbing. He never smiles. He doesn't look you in the face. He only answers questions with no. He is very uncoordinated to the point where he constantly falls over.

I don't want personal attacks here. I want help. My family have nominated me to talk to my brother about it. We have all at some stage broched the subject with my brother and sil about any help nephew may be getting but we are fobbed off with them saying that the health nurse doesnt see a problem.

I guess what I want is some advice to give my brother when I chat to him,

like where the first point of call would be? I am assuming that they should see there gp and demand a referral to a developmental paediatrician but am unsure where else to go. He has seen a speech path before but have stopped going.

ah wish me luck


I have posted previously (well over a year ago) about my nephew and his speech delay. He is now three and still only says single words... and constantly repeats the same word over and over (like no) anyho I don't think a speech delay is his main problem.

He is constantly crying/sobbing. He never smiles. He doesn't look you in the face. He only answers questions with no. He is very uncoordinated to the point where he constantly falls over.

I don't want personal attacks here. I want help. My family have nominated me to talk to my brother about it. We have all at some stage broched the subject with my brother and sil about any help nephew may be getting but we are fobbed off with them saying that the health nurse doesnt see a problem.

I guess what I want is some advice to give my brother when I chat to him,

like where the first point of call would be? I am assuming that they should see there gp and demand a referral to a developmental paediatrician but am unsure where else to go. He has seen a speech path before but have stopped going.

ah wish me luck


No advice just want to wish you luck!! Sounds like you have the right idea to kick things off smile
Thanks chick!

I'm a bit worried its too late...... and I'm p!ssed that my brother and sil don't seem to care enough to initiate any therapy for him. Its just so sad and frustrating!

Just from what you've written it sounds a lot like Autism...

A hard position for you to be in.. I guess if I were in your shoes, I would sit down with your brother and/or SIL and say that some family members are concerned that nephew is displaying some Autistic/developmental delay and that you are all concerned about it and really urge them to take nephew to their GP to be checked over.

Really, other than that, I'm not sure what else you can do?
If they don't want to take him I'm not sure how you can make them.

It wouldn't be appropriate for grandparents to take him, but if you are all that concerned, it might be something to think about?

I guess you just need to do some research on his 'symptoms' and show your brother and SIL some evidence to support how you and other family members feel.

Just make sure that you come across as concerned for nephew and them, not accusatory.

Good luck!



Thanks chick!

I'm a bit worried its too late...... and I'm p!ssed that my brother and sil don't seem to care enough to initiate any therapy for him. Its just so sad and frustrating!


I bet sad I know friends who have kiddies with developmental issues and they are basically being fobbed off until the child is 3 so i dont think it will be too late...Hopefully your brother listens to you and seeks help for him rather than ignore it!
Thanks for your advice JennaJ

My mum isn't the best at these sort of things.... eg she just wont do anything. We had a family get together (well reunion) and afterwards I had all sorts of relatives asking me whats being done with nephew in regards to getting therapy help etc. Sil came out a few weeks ago saying her 'friend' thought he might have some sort of ataxia as he is uncoordinated but to me it seems much much worse than that!

He def does show autistic tendancies.... with the eye contact avoidance and he is unable to play with kids his age. But that also may have to do with the fact that he has never had the opportunity as Sil has kept him at home without playdates, playgroups and even having friends with kids over.


I bet sad I know friends who have kiddies with developmental issues and they are basically being fobbed off until the child is 3 so i dont think it will be too late...Hopefully your brother listens to you and seeks help for him rather than ignore it!

I hope so too.... sadly they have ignored us for some time.... but nows the time to make sure we are heard!

My DD who is 2 and 4 months can barely say any words. I have been worried about her since she was about 18 months but couldn't really get anyone to listen to me until dd was approaching 2. The first thing they need to do for your nephew is get a referral to see a developmental delay peadiatrician. We went private as the wait for the public peadiatricians is HUGE. Also your nephew needs to have his hearing tested and his eye sight tested. this could all be because he has poor hearing. Also, see a speech therapist and they will be able to help or offer advice on where to go next.

With my DD, she has been cleared of any syndromes, conditions, brain damage and her hearing and eye sight is fine. They still can't rule out Dyspraxia as they need her to have a minimum of 20 words to diagnose that. Hopefully her speech therapy will be all that is needed.

Good luck with convincing your brother and SIL that your nephew needs help.
Oh its so hard to approch subjects like this maybe get some info printed out about Autism, Aspergers and other spectrum disorders even if you leave it with him to read later and jsut tell him your worried that the child is struggling. Let him know you understand that is scary to think something might not be quite right but its better to get it checked to either rule it out or if there is an issue they can learn ways to help him. And there is so much that can be done these days.
Drs do often fob off parents hopeing that children grow out of these behaviours. Sure sometimes those kinds of behaviours are just phases kids go through lol. The child really needs his hearing tested...you can ring your local community health centre and organise it....no referral needed smile Getting eyes checked would be another sensible check just to make sure that isnt causing issues. From there he really needs to be seen by a paed, an occupational therapist to work on the co-ordination issue, a clinical psychologist for the emotional and eye contact issues. I would also be asking about early intervention to help with socialisation skills as well as helping with all the other issues.

Mum and Dad need to realise there is issues and are willing to fight to ensure the child gets the help he needs. Otherwise he will slip through a crack thus he wont get the help needed...they will have to deal with it as he gets older and the transition to school may very well be very difficult for all involved. But it takes alot of hard work from Mum and Dad to get Drs to pay attention and get the help needed.

Cheers Ness

I just wanted to wish you all the best and hope you can get your message across without feelings being hurt....your brother and SIL may not be uncaring, they may actually be very scared and in denial that something is not right. Who wants to admit that something may be wrong with their perfect baby? All the best to you - perhaps you can call your/their local CHN and ask some questions, they may even (depending on what kind of roster/area they work in) be able to call the parents, or ask your SIL to bring him in and have a chat Xxx
Is it possible your SIL is depressed? If she isn't taking him out to interact with other children she may not want to leave the house, do you think she would go with you to a playgroup type setting? Maybe she could see how other 3 year olds behave. I agree with mum2ronjam, they may be in denial or just scared. If you do approach them I would add that the family is concerned and try not to make it sound as if you are the only one concerned. Good luck.
Thankyou to everyone that replied.

Sorry I left it a bit brief... he did have speech pathology when he was 2 1/2 (he is now 3 and 4months) and before that he had his hearing tested. I'm not sure about his eyes though so will suggest that.

I don't think my sil is depressed...... and this is not their first child (its their 3rd) so you would think that some alarm bells would be ringing about his development.

My sil is incredibly lazy. there is no nice way to put it. Also my brother is very passive although very caring, I don't think he would even question his behaviour.

Unfortunatly we live 3 hrs away so I can't physically go there and chat to them....or take them to playgroup. I have suggested numerous times to sil that nephew would benefit from playgroup or daycare and she always makes excuses. Like money,lack of time. Her other two children are in school and she doesnt work so I don't know what the real reason behind her not wanting to go is. (also they have enough money, my brother brings home quite a decent wage)

Thanks again for all your replies..... I hope they listen and take my suggestions on board. Will let you know

xx

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