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Clinginess!! Lock Rss

My son is 28 months old and it seems is getting clingier by the day!

We do Playgroup and he does not move from my side, we do Mothers' Group and he has known these forever and does not move from my side. He seems to be scared of the screaming and noise!!

At home if he does not see me for awhile he is crying out for me.

And now to top it off he has got this terrible of going to sleep, he ok once asleep but he is so uptight till he falls asleep!

Any ideas?? I am a single mum but I do leave at my parents to go out or time out for me!!

Help!!

M&M ..NSW

Are you sure your not talking about my life. I am a single mum to and it drives me to dispair that when I am there she can't leave my lap. I mean we see the same people on a regular basis and she freaks. I have to really stress to people that I am serious when I ask them not to say hello to her - but they still do it! Please everyone if any mum ever asks you to ignore their child they are doing it so they can have alittle piece and quiet or a couple of minutes without a permanent growth spurting from the hip or lap not to be mean or rude.
She is fine when I am not their at childcare or at my folks. I think it is starting to turn into a massive power play. I have asked heaps of people and no one has been able to help. She is normal growing well but just loves to drive her mum absolutely nuts. She has always been clingy - I swear since birth.
The only things I have noticed are - Small groups of one or two kids and mums seem to work OK. I also think it is a noise factor and too much movement & stimulation don't help. Turning up to playgroup first so she has a chance to get used to the increased noise etc makes a big difference to turning up when everything is in full swing.

Nicole

Hi, My son is also 28 months old and very clingy. We attend playgroup once a week which he loves going to and he does leave my side, but I do see him look around for me from time to time. He doesn't have a problem with the noise factor, there's lots of noise at home so I'm not sure what it is. If we are home and I'm in another room he goes hysterical if he can't find me. At night my husband settles him which he's very good at so I'm lucky there, but during the night he gets up and comes around to my side of the bed, sometimes crying sometimes not. He just doesn't like to be away from me although his room is directly opposite ours. He is an only child so perhaps that is it. My husband travels a lot for work so perhaps that's another reason he has gotten attached to me. I don't have any answers either but you aren't alone.

Mum to Bub

my son is 39 months and still just as you described your kids...it nearly drives me crazy! He will warm up but usually only just before we have to leave and then cause he is finally enjoying himself we get the i don't want to leave tantrum!!!! yeah best of both worlds!! I have spoken to both my gp and child health nurse as to the best way to deal with it and everyone has said don't push it, don't make a big deal of it praise them heaps if they do something they normally wouldn't etc. I am not a single mum but may as well be when it comes to my son as he 'needs' mummy for everything! Always nice to know I'm not the only one going through stuff!

Kelly,QLD, boy 23.01.03 and girl 08.04.05

Hi, my son is 26 and a half months old - I started him in Playgroup when he was 15months old last year and he was very clingy also and always cried even if i was a foot away from him, knowing himself that he could see me within an arms length, and still cried. After his first few months of playgroup he was absolutely awesome - interacting with kids and/or doing his own thing without any probs, but when we had the xmas break for 3 months and took him back this year in february, it was as if he had never been there before and so we had to start him mingling with others all over again, but this time it wasn't so easy and its still kinda hard to this day.
Although it was the big break that affected him, it was also another factor - there was a boy in his playgroup with ADHD and screamed really loud that'd pierce ur ears and mine almost bled (literally!), that freaked the shirt off my son's back and from that day he was terrified and never let me or my husband out of his site after that nasty incident. Up until this day the boy with ADHD has left the Playgroup into school now, so I have to start all over again - third times a charm, and slowly he's getting back into it - and slowly playing amongst the other kids.
The other clingy factor is also because we're home with eachother most of the week and rarely go out - about 2-3 times to the park or once a fortnight to his grandparents, and then some days we go shopping and out to relatives house, and he acts really silly sometimes and when i ask him to do certain things like say his ABCs or counting or reading to our family and friends he does weird stuff like he does this thing with his eyes and looks up (looks scary as if he were posessed - im really worried about that one!) and just simple commands like if he wants a lollie or something around other ppl he'll just do weird things like he's shy and just lays down on the floor and just keeps saying no, or he'll start throwing things - for e.g his grandpa will ask him if he knows a particular number and he just acts really weird and starts doing the eye thing again or throws or kicks stuff at his grandpa. He does it all the time when we're not near him, and i get really freaked out by the eye thing, and our relatives look at us weird, and sometimes i feel like crying, coz i feel like i've done wrong most of the time - there are times where he is a really good boy and he'll let me and my husband have our time together where he plays in his room - but most of the time I spend alot of quality time with my son as well as my husband, but the attention our son demands is never enough and this partly why he is also clingy. I think coz they're at this stage in their life is that their minds are set to their wants and needs only and only their feelings count mainly because their brains haven't developed the capacity to know how other peoples feelings, wants and needs are - so in theory thats a big part of what our son is going thru. I know i've raved on about alot of other stuff but this is kinda good to get things off ur chest and let others in to read and know that they'r not alone. Anyways above all, all we can do about our kids is to just enjoy them, encourage them, and let them find the stepping stones to life and let them encounter that there are better things out there in life other than just mum and dad. Its all about time and 'weaning' them off the clingyness - it takes a long while and im still on this journey - I hope this 'novel' helps LOL since its so long - I hope i can get some advice in return, and in advance many thanx...Cheers~Aaliyana =0)

Kalvin 17.6.2004 & Chelsey 7.3.2008

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