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hates day care/pre school Lock Rss

hi, when i was pregnant with my second child every one advised me to put my 2 year old into day care one day a week so i could enjoy that day with my new born baby, so about 2 months before i was due i enrolled my little girl in day care. the main reason i was going to send her was so she could socialise with other kids her age. the first day i was to upset to take her so her daddy took her and he said that he left her there and she was fine. so the next week i decided to take her and when i said that i was leaving she started crying but they told me that she would be fine and to go home, so i did. when i picked her up they said that she was crying on and off all day. the next week i thought that she would be better but how wrong was i!! after i left her i went to help a friend at work all day and when i went to pick her up the ladies said that they tried to ring me at home to ask if my little girl has asthma because she was crying for about 3 hours and her breathing was a bit funny. NO she doesn't have asthma!! i felt like the worst mother in the world. i decided that it was too emotional for her and she now doesn't go. now 6 months on if i even mention going back she starts crying. i don't think that i will send her back until she is at least 3 1/2. has anyone else had a situation like this?, some advise would be nice.
Hi Lou,
My 26mth old has been attending pre-school since her 2nd birthday & we still have issues with her. We decided to persevere as she's been in family day care since she was 6mths & just loves it. We believe that she had difficulty with the concept due to the new baby at home, the larger numbr of children attending, the different structure to her day and the fact that her Dad takes her each week as it's just behind his work.
We found that she absolutely loved the first week there but since then it's been a different story. Each week she gets a little better & now sticks to one or two of the teachers in the day. Although she is now cued in to having Daddy take her & the change in direction the car travels, and even the streets & parks nearby (our best friends live near the pre-school), we like knowing that every week is an improvement. There are now only 5 minutes of tears when we drop her off & then she fits right on in. We had a setback when she was ill on the 4th week and couldn't go but she's back on track again now.
My suggestion is to try again but perhaps with something a little smaller such as family day care. There can only be 5 children in the house at once, with a maximum of 2 under 2. It's a great alternative to larger pre-school settings. You could also contact your local YMCA or TAFE to see what sort of pre-school programs they run and socialise your daughter that way. Swimming programs (parents and babies classes) will also get you out and about.
I hope things are improving for you. Don't give up but look for other alternatives.
Best of luck,

Peta, NSW, mum of 2 gorgeous girls


It sounds like she has bad memories. sad Maybe you could try another name for school, like playgroup, and talk about different things that are not associated with the past school. Now she is older they will play different games.

I'm probably no help,

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

My daughter who is now 2 1/2 has been going to kindy a couple of times a week since she has been 6 months. She goes off okay now but every now and again we get a day that she is in tears and doesn't want to go, so I let her take one of her favourite things with her (usually Pooh Bear!) and when she is settled in and calmed down the Kindy Teacher will put it in her bag.

It's really important that you do let her go one day a week either to kindy or a day care mum so that you can have some time out and bonding time with the new baby and when the baby gets old enough to go to think of how wonderful it will be that you can have a day to yourself where you can go shopping or get your housework done with no interruptions!.

Good Luck

Vikki, Qld, 2 year old toddler

I have been through the same thing, i took him out of care intending to try again, now i regret it. He refuses to even discuss kindy anymore and "no i wont go" is his answer then runs to his room. Should I force the issue or leave him at home? I am worried he will have the same problem to start pre-shool in 2005.
Hello LOU

I can otally relate to you.
I had the same problem with my 2.5 year old, i decide to put him into kindy a couple of month before i had my 2nd baby,
he hated it so much he kicked screamed there would be mornings id have to drag him from the car so to speak!
when i would go to leave he would bve in tears, i knew i had to leave him there as it would be better in the end for him, usually id end up in the car in tears and wanting to go back and get him.
I explained to him id always be back and that he would have fun, and let him take some toys from home, now after 6 weeks he got out of the car and told me he would have fun and ran inside to kinder, believe me it can be upsetting but it does get better.
Maybe try only half a day or a couple of hours and so-on

cathy vic 3 and 4 month old

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