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  5. Sick and Tired of being told to use controlled crying!!!!

Sick and Tired of being told to use controlled crying!!!! Lock Rss

Please tell me if you feel the same way! Every time I ask the clinic sister or my own family doctor how I can get my 17 month daughter to sleep through I get told to just leave her to cry or do controlled crying. I don't believe in this method as it is against our "Motherly Instincts". Hannah goes to bed with no tears at 7pm but wakes up 1-2 times during the night for some milk and just sometimes a cuddle. Then she is up at 6am as happy as. She has slept through twice in her young life and I have tried to replicate those days - to no avail. I now believe that she will sleep through when she is ready and feels confident to do so. I believe the Nurses and Doctors need to do a course in modern parenting as I now believe in listening to my instincts and never to doubt them again.

I have stopped worrying about teeth (she has all of them), sleeping, eating (I still feed her only lumpy food as she hates chewing) and remind myself that as she gets older she will do the things she is suppose to do without me forcing her to.

Do any of you Mum's out there feel the same or do you have great Nurses and Doctors in your area?

Let me know what you think.

Tarryn, Country QLD, 11/06/03 Hannah

I didnt go down the 'Controlled' path either as it just didnt sit right with me (OK i admit i am a big sooky-lala) but my partner and i perservered through with our daughter who has slept well generally there are always bad dreams and we had night terrors for a while (THATS scary) for 12months (she is 2.5). LIke your little one she would go to bed well and then have a 'patch' during the night of needing some attention - we gave milk until that didnt work then it was a cuddle or whatever worked for us and she got there in her time as you are hoping your little one will. If your heart is not in the 'controlled' method then it wouldnt work anyway - do you have Baby Love by Robin Barker, she made me feel a lot better about not going down that path by explaining that if you are OK with going with the flow then thats OK they all get there. I also have many friends who have persevered with 'Controlled crying' only to have to start again after and illness or tooth etc. Its what works for you. My 8mnth old son still has 2 feeds a night (i can hear the gasps from here !!!!!!!!!!) but i believe he will get there when he is ready - he is still wrangling with solids and theres lots of teeth still coming and he is an exceptoinally happy boy otherwise who sleeps without a peep in between those 2 feeds so who cares - there are no real rules.
I am fortunate to have a fabulous health nurse who is very flexible but I do wish you all the best -perhaps depending on where you are precisely you could seek advice from a health nurse from another area - i could if i needed to - i live in the country and could go to the 'city' (20mins) instead which is under a different Municipality but as long as i visit a health nurse it doesnt matter where she is.
Good luck and sweet dreams !!!!!!!!!

Very content Mum with Girl 2.5, Boy 8mths

Trust me controlled crying does not work with every baby/child, I also have a wonderful daughter that no matter how hard I tried, she was persistent and cried until I gave in.

I couldn't bring myself in the end to listen to her crying and sobbing and now at the age of 23 months goes off to sleep most nights by herself and 4 out of 7 nights sleeps through in her own bed.

Until she got into a big bed a couple of months ago, she woke every night and ended up in bed with us (it's easier to get sleep that way).

The nights she does wake up through the night and I can't settle her in her own bed, she comes in to our bed for atleast part of the night.

I gave up on clinic nurses at Ella's 18 month check-up when the women who saw us mis-measured her height and tried to tell me she hadn't grown, when in fact I came home and re-did it only to see she had grown 6cms and was starting to outgrow her size 1 clothes.

Go with your own instinct and do what you feel comfortable with. 70% of children under 5 do not sleep through every night on their own.

Louise, Brisbane Qld. Mum to Ella and Luca

Hey Amy, congrats on your success with no controlled crying!! I wish that had of worked with my daughter! She is back to being a little monster this week. All of a sudden she has hit the terrible two's (two months early)! She is throwing tantrums over everything....especially bed time! I am at a loss as to what to do now. I am not doing controlled crying again, it was too hard the first time. Now, we are just letting her stay up until she is really tired tehn putting her to seems to work so far.

Hi everyone,
I took my little girl to a 'day stay' where they teach you controlled crying and shes been great ever since. Shes been sleeping for about 12hrs a night since around 6mths. My friend had did the same thing with her little bub and it didn't work at all. I think it depends on you baby. I only took my bub in to the day stay coz I was getting my tear restitched the next day and wouldn't be able to rock her every sleep. I loved rocking her but the controlled crying helped out with my healing problems.
i just let my son cry and let him settle himself. because i was getting up at times of the night and day to settle and i just got told let him cry it out or use control crying and by golly it worked. i didn't like it but i could also get some house work done while he was settling himself. now hes' great.

with nurse and doctors and u have to do is listen u don't have to take their advice just as long u know u are doing the right thing for ur child then u know ur child is going well

We tried control crying. That lasted all of one week. We found that having a routine worked better.
He is now 12 months old, has been sleeping through the night from about 4 weeks (guess we just got lucky with this one. The next one will be straight from hell)

He knows now, he has his dinner, has a bath, a bottle, than it's into bed. I've found it doesn't matter what time he goes to bed, but if we follow this routine, he settles straight away.

Michelle, Brisbane

I have 23 month old twins, one of whom is a 12 hour a night + 3 hours a day sleeper and the other who is up and ready to start the day at 5am but sleeps 3 hours during the day. A child health nurse said I need to start CC when they were 12 days old! Yeah right.

I am a firm believer in CC and it usually takes my son 2 or 3 nights to get back into a better sleeping routine (no night wakings). He was waking up asking for milk which of course you give into a few times and of course you've started a pattern, so then I offered water which he hated, so then he started putting himself back to sleep.

He still wakes at 5am, sometimes earlier which I find is worse. He's too awake to do CC and he's in the same room as his twin sister who I don't want to wake up. Usually his nappy is full to the brim so I have to change it anyway which wakes him up more.

If anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate them, but can't say it's the birds, light in the room, sounds outside, etc, etc, etc as his sister sleeps soundly next to him. He has toys in his cot (but I have to be careful they don't make too much noise or can be hurled at her). He cannot be resettled even using CC techniques. Suggestions anyone?

I never liked the term "controlled crying" and would never have used this method. I was becoming a bit dissappointed that I could not get my baby to sleep without a bottle and then I received an email from the Huggies website about the program called "It's time to sleep".

I bought the book and DVD and now my son Daniel goes to bed at 8:00 - 8:30 and wakes at about 6:30 - 7:00 in the morning and he goes to sleep in his cot on his own. If he wakes in the night he goes back to sleep on his own as he now knows how to resettle himself.

The DVD shows the method of "Controlled comforting" and I can honestly say the first time Daniel went to bed on his own he cried for 40 minutes and I spent about half the time with him comforting him (all shown in the video), the second time he went to bed it took 10 minutes and now I put him to bed and don't need to go back in until morning.

The book and DVD cost me about $50.00 and I think this was one of the best investments I made as Daniel no longer needs me or the bottle to help him sleep.

I hope this is some help to you.

Caroline, NSW

Hi Taryn.

If it is any consolation, my daughter (now 15 months) never slept 1 night thru until she was just over 12 months. She was a nightmare and I was getting up to her every hour on the hour. I don't believe in controlled crying either, it just breaks the mothers heart. But we had a sleep management lady come over to our house for 1 night and since then Jordyn has slept through and is a changed little girl in attitude, personality etc etc. If it is any help and I know your on the other side of Oz but she may be able to give you some pointers. Her name is "Andrea Bogue" Mothercraft Nurse phone 089272 3329 and mobile 0411 130 498. She really was an angel for us. She doesn't believe in letting the child lying there screaming but going in every 4-5 minutes reassuring the child that you are there.

I hope I have been a help and know what you are going through!

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