I have an 18 month old who I have been trying to leave at child care, just once a week, for the past 2 months. Problem is she wants me around constantly. She cries the whole time she is left at the centre. I am now only leaving her for 20 minutes each time just so she can adjust but it doesnt seem to be getting any better. I am also trying to go 2-3 times each week now so that she can became more familiar with the experience.
At home now she is really paranoid that when Im not in sight I have left her.
I really wanted to start some part time work this year but I cant until she feels completely comfortable. Help! Please let me know if you have been in the same situation and how, and how long it took for things to become easier.
Thanks Cat

hi catrinna

all chn are different and i guess will settle differently.
did u know that chn put into care full-time tend to settle more quickly than those that attend part time?
how long were u leaving her there at first? maybe by leaving her for only 20 minutes, she knows that u will be back soon, and so thinks that if she cries, u will come back to get her .... which u do shortly (being only 20 minutes)
just make sure that when u do leave her at the centre that u tell her that u are going (don't try to sneak away when she is distracted! this will make her think u have abandoned her) just let her know u r going and that u will be back soon to take her home.
duz she have any comforters that she really likes? eg. a special blanket or toy. try letting her keep it with her at the centre.

hope this helps .... did i mention i work in a child care centre!?! smile

hi catrinna,

i would have to agree with the other lady that works in a ccc. u have to just simply walk away. the child carers would ring u, if she grew really upset.
all my children cry and cling when i leave them at day care. but i am assured that 5 minutes later, they are fine.
i, too, have been told that children who attend child care more than one day a week adjust better to being left. i suppose its cos they remember that u left them and that u came back- where as if they only go once a week/fortnight, its not fresh in their minds and its almost like a new experience every time.
other alternatives could be to change centres- she may not be happy where she is, and u may have to go to a few b4 u find the right one. or maybe child care simply just not agree with her and u might have a relative that shes familiar with that u could leave her with and she would feel comfortable.
i honestly think though, that u should leave her at the centre for a day and see what happens.
hope everything works out for u

My daughter was in childcare full time for 14 months, and the only time I had trouble with separation was when the regular worker was on leave, so my daughter had to cope with an unfamiliar person.

However, this all changed when I changed her to one day a week instead of 5, spending the rest of the time at home with me (and after a few weeks her new sister). She would cry and scream for me to take her with me when I left. It took about 3 months before she settled down again, and is now reasonably happy when I leave her.

I've found it best to just say a quick goodbye, and go, even though it is hard with her crying for me and calling my name. If I am concerned about how upset she was when leaving, I ring about an hour after I have dropped her off just to reassure myself that she is okay. This is better than going back, as the staff can let you know how she is without her seeing you, and becoming more upset again. I have found that even on her worst days, by the end of an hour she has forgotten all about being upset at my going, and is joining in, and reasonably happy. On her best days she is already settled and playing happily before I leave.

At home I still find my daughter follows me around, and doesn't like me out of her sight, and will even cry and scream if I go out and leave her with her father. It is hard to leave them when they are like this, but I believe that they do start to learn that you will come back, and start being less concerned when you leave.

Good luck and keep perservering, it does get easier.

I started puttin my son into Childcare in January for two days a week. At first he was only in one day a week, and for 6 weeks would cry for an hour when I left but would then settle, and start crying for me again about 2 oclock. But after this, he was used to it, now he can't wait to go.