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  5. Getting Angry with toddler because of bad behaviour

Getting Angry with toddler because of bad behaviour Lock Rss

Hi

I am finding it increasingly hard to stay level headed when my daughter misbehaves.

She has been doing things to hurt her little sister such as pulling her arms and legs, kicking/hitting her or biting her fingers SO hard that if I wasn't there to stop it I wouldn't be surprised if she broke a bone.

I normally have a bit of a short fuse anyway but since having children I have been working really hard on controlling it (I focus on pushing the anger way down to my toes) or walking away if I feel my blood pressure rising.

I simply can not and will not tolerate my daughter deliberately causing harm to her little sister. She used to be so gentle and is just so horrible to her sometimes that I find it hard to be calm. I have even smacked her on the hand and bottom for doing this but I don't like it and thats when I feel like things are out of control. It also makes me feel hypocritical telling her not to hit when that is how I respond to her behaviour. It just feels so wrong.

Has anyone got any tips for me on what I can do about my daughter's behaviour and how I can handle it without getting so angry and smacking?

Thanks
Kristi

4 lovely munchkins DD 10/03, DD 03/05, DS 10/06 &

Hey Kristi,
I only have one child and it's bad enough but you must have your hands full, good on you though for hainging in there, it must be hard!
I don't have a personal experience, but i have been trained in childcare and been around my sister and her kids a lot and she has 2 kids with twins on the way, so that's where i'm getting my thoughts from!
What i thought while reading your thread is that your eldest daughter is doing this as she knows it's getting your attention, i don't mean that you don't give her attention or anything, i'm sure you do!!! She's probably realising that her sister also gets your attention and wants it for herself, if that makes sense???
My sister has had the same problem before her second was old enough to fight back. The eldest used to do things to hurt her sister as she knew this got her mum/dad's attention even if it wasn't good attention!!!I honestly don't mean that it's your fault and that you are ignoring her, it's just that she wants the attention her sister may get also and if she's naughty she will get your undivided attention and on a one on one basis!
This doesn't help of what to do about it sorry, but that was just what i was thinking while i was reading your thread!Hope it sorts itself out soon for you and her little sister!! Wait til she can fight back, my sisters eldest was bitten by her sister the other day as she didn't want her sister to do what she was doing to her, needless to say they both ended in tears, one for getting bitten, the other for getting in trouble from my sister!!!
Think my sister tried not to give the bad things attention unless she had to(if she was hurting her sister she stepped in) and tried to give her extra attention for doing the good things that she wouldn't normally have a lot of attention over!!!
Hopefully it's just a phase!
Good Luck!!!

kelly, NSW, 4year old and 2 year old boys and expe

Have you tried time out, that works really well.When something like that happens again just go up to her calmly and tell her that was naughty and wrong, and then walk away. If it happens again just go up to her calmly again and tell her thaT was wrong and this time tell her if you do it again you are going into time out. That means you can put her in her room or get a mat and put that in the lounge out of reach with everything and she would have to sit their. So if shes 2 yrs old that means she has to sit their for 2 mins. If she gets off, you keep putting her back, she will soon learn. After her 2 mins is up, ask her what she did wrong(if she can talk) and then she will have to say sorry who ever she hurt, then give loves and cuddles.
Hope that would help

Man, am I glad I found this topic today! I was thinking of posting a similar topic, so that was good timing. My nearly 3yr old daughter has been testing me lately plus since I was pregnant with no.2, and now that he is born etc. Have taken note of everyone's replies and hoping tomorrow is a better day!

Karen, FNQ, Danika (May 03), Jarrad ( Feb 06), Ama

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