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  5. How do I teach my 11mth old "NO"

How do I teach my 11mth old "NO" Rss

I am having trouble teaching my 11th month old boy (Brayden) that there are some things he's not allowed to do. When he does something he's not allowed to do, I say Brayden No, give hime a little smack (and i mean little) and then move him away from what ever it was he was doing. He looks at me, and sometimes laughs, and then goes straight back to where he was. A major problem that I am having too, is that he bully's his twin sister, who is petite compared to him. He pulls her her, and practically wrestles her to the ground, which sends her screaming. How can I teach him to be gentle.
Wow that sounds like my son Liam he is 11mths in a few days, we found you have to jsut keep saying NO! He has a thing for the oven, as it is down low and he can reach the buttons and also our gas heater (it is closed in luckily).
He will learn for a few days that he can't play with them and then test us to see if we have changed and he might just be aloud to play with them now.
I know people will disagree with me however we do smack his hand gently, usually he will laugh and try it again so he gets another NO and a little smack. He will give up in the end. Also moving him away from the offending object and giving him something that looks far more interesting works.
Just keep in mind this is the age of exploring and the world is THEIR oyster!
As for the showing him how to be gentle I have no idea as Liam is a rough-tough boy just like your son lol? any suggestions?

Em Tmba - mum to Liam 31/7/03 & Callum 7/5/05

At this age distraction is definately the key! I don't think they have very good short term memory and you just have to repeat yourself over and over and over. I'm sure plenty will disagree with me but I think boys are worse! Distraction, repetition and don't have too many things that you need to say no to. As for being gentle maybe if he hurts his sister ignore him and give heaps of attention to her. Not sure if that would work at this age but worth a try.

Kelly,QLD, boy 23.01.03 and girl 08.04.05

I agree with Kelba. The more I say 'No' to my 1 year old son the more he does whatever I'm saying no to. Distraction has definitely been most effective for us. Our child health nurse explained that at this age we can't expect them to have reason and logic like us and they don't think 'OK, I can't touch that so I'll do something else.' So we need to show them by distracting them from whatever they are doing and give them something else to do. Sometimes it takes a while for them to get the message but I've found if I perseverence is the key. The other thing is at this age they just love attention - they don't care whether it is good or bad attention - so the more we jump up and down when they do the wrong thing the more they'll keep doing it as they get a reaction. As for your son being rough with his sister - like Kelba said, don't give him attention when he does it. Take him away and say 'No' firmly and don't pay any attention to him for a couple of minutes even if it means putting him in his cot. When he is behaving give him lots of attention and eventually he'll realise what's acceptable and what's not. For the last couple of weeks my son has been hitting me in the face really hard and scratching at the same time. At first I'd get angry with him but he just did it more and more. So I started just saying 'No' and putting him in his cot for a couple of minutes - it took a couple of weeks but he's finally stopped hitting me. I hope this helps.

All the best
I have found persistance is the key...and don't slackin off either!!

My little girl is almost 10mths and if she is doing something she is not suppose to do she gets the tiniest, lightest tap on her hand at the same time as I say 'NO'...she is learning well, she now knows when I say 'NO' it means don't do that!

My little girl is doing the pulling the hair thing, and boy does she get a good grip too! Hoping she stops that soon!

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

My experience has been that consistency is the key and to select very carefully what you are willing to get into a confrontation over. If I try not to use the word "NO" for all the little things and save it up for the important things (touching the oven etc) than it seems to have more impact. I try to find other words for the other stuff and offer an alternative (Not just "be gentle" but "hug like this"). And if I'm too tired to follow through on something I pretend that I ca't see it and that way I'm not contradicting myself. Does that make sense?

Good luck. You've got to do what ever works in your family.


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