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  5. advice about 4 yr olds behaviour.

advice about 4 yr olds behaviour. Lock Rss

hi there,

i know shes not a toddler anymore but i couldnt figure out anywhere else to put this.

hopefully there are some mums out there with older children that might be able to help me.

i have a 4 1/2 yr old little girl who has very difficult behaviour.

here are some of the difficult behaviours:-

doesnt listen
cant sit still at all
doesnt do as asked
answers back constantly
very attention seeking
has smart aleck behaviour (smirks, comments etc)

i am completely aware that some of the above behaviours
are normal for her age but in her they appear to be very

i have just had a conversation with her kindy teacher about
how she is at school, and she appears to encounter
everything i do at home, so she does not change with the
change of environment.  her teacher said she just cant sit
still, and is constantly getting up and going to the toilet or
anything so as not to sit still.  apparently at mat session the
teachers aid has to sit behind her so as to keep her still.  she
also said, she finds her looking at her as if to say "well, come
and tell me off then" sort of like spying i guess to provoke a

there is so many things she does that the teacher also
encounters and finds frustrating.  in all, she said to me "she is
a very difficult child"  "but she is also very smart"
i have found this also, i guess im just trying to cover all bases
to see if i can fix the problem, can anyone help me or offer
any suggestions.

it will be very much appreciated.

Kristi 5 kids.

Hi Kristi,

I can understand how frustrating this can be. My partner has a now 6 yr old son from a previous relationship, and since he was about 4 he displayed all the behaviours you're describing above, however he is getting much better as he gets older.

Has anything happended in the family structure where she may feel as though she needs to behave this way in order to get attention? ie new baby, any changes in mum & dads relationship? As children are extreemely sensitive to any changes.

I found trying to make a special time every day just for them, even if its only 10 minutes helped greatly. Try and find something she enjoys doing and make it something special you only do with her (as you have 2 other children, she may feel lost in the crowd). Also, when she does display these behaviours ... try not to react too harshly, as I'm sure the majority of the reason they do it is for attention.

Give it a go, and I'm sure you'll see changes! It worked for us anyway.

Good luck, and let us know how you go.


Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

thanks heaps for the reply, i really appreciate u taking the time to do so.

i agree with you that children react greatly to change, although as this might well be the case to a certain degree, i feel it goes deeper than that. she has behaved in this way since was about 2, so its not a new thing, its just that as shes grows older and learns more, she is getting progressively worse. i have been trying to get the right persons help for about a year now, but keep running into brick walls. there is many things it may be, such as certain foods (but i cant get a dietician or dr to help me out), ADD/ADHD (but people lay off diagnosing that nowadays- which is a really good thing, but can also be not so good.).

hubby and i did the PPP in hope that this would help, but for her it doesnt seem to. and making 10 mins a day for her, i have tried this too, but the behaviour doesnt change.

anyway, i guess i feel i dont know which way to turn next and was hoping to find some precious information thru someone else.

Kristi 5 kids.

Hi again Kristi,

It certainly seems as though it might be something more if you've tried everything above still with no success. Speaking of certain foods, I dont know if you saw on the news a month or so ago about an additive found in bread, crumpets etc called preservative 282. There was a recent study done on this and it was found that this particular preservative can cause behavioural problems like the ones you have described in children. I dont know if she eats much bread etc, but it might be something else to try cutting it out of her diet. What do you have to lose?

Keep us informed,


Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

hi smile

just thought i would let you know where we are at with dealing with my daughters behaviour at the moment.

both the teacher and i have filled out these forms and they have been assessed by a child psychologist. apparently there are 7 areas they look at and she is within normal range on 5 of these areas. the other 2 areas, she appears to have issues with. these areas are agressive behaviour and attention.

the child psychologist also noted that mine and the teachers forms were near on identical. amazing since we have only really had one discussion about my daughter. it made me feel better to realise that its not just me experiencing these difficulties with my daughter.

the next step is the child psychologist is going to sppeak with her teacher on monday to see if these issues are affecting her schooling, so i dont know anything else until then.

will keep you updated.

Kristi 5 kids.

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