Be comfortable in your skin – this is a judgement free zone. Find out more!

Huggies Forum

Switch to Nappy-Pants

for toilet training!

Learn more
  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Toddler
  4. Caring for your Toddler
  5. 20 year age gap....all has changed

20 year age gap....all has changed Rss

How time changes things. When I had my daughter 22 years ago, and then my son 18 years ago, things were very much different in regards to how a mother should be breastfeeding her baby. In those days, I would feed for ten minutes on each breast on an hourly basis, burp the baby and put it to bed face down or on the side. Today, this procedure would all be wrong. We are encouraged to demand feed and not to place our baby face down. So when I had my third child, I had to start from scratch, I felt vulnerable and unconfident.

I wanted so much to breastfeed my first two children for at least six months, but due to various circumstances I was unable to, so they went onto the bottle. Jessica was three months of age and James was six weeks old, so making the transition from breast to bottle was no problem. They slept throughout the night, without a hiccup.

So when I had Chinaza, my third child, I decided to breastfeed for as long as I possibly could, which is now almost 22 months. But now I have a problem, he will not sleep unless being breastfed, and wakes up every 2-3 hours in the night and sleeps for only 30 minutes maximum in the day. I have seen advice being given for babies under six months, but nothing to help mums who need help when the child is closer to two years old. I do intend to stop feeding now, but I don't know how to do it.

The breastfeeding in no longer just for nourishment, but also a source of comfort as well as a plaything (he feeds off one breast, alternating every minute or so, while playing with my other nipple with his little fingers), so technically, I will be stopping three things that my son is so used to having on a daily basis. I have tried getting advice from various sources, without much luck, as each party refers me to the other. I was hoping that there are other mums out there who have had a similar problem and have found a solution. Hope to hear from you. Nkechi

Nkechi, Sydney 2 year old son

Hi Nkechi,
Well done going through the whole baby thing again!! I have not been throught the weaning off the breast process, both my babies had to go to the bottle very early, but I sympathise with you, as you definately need to do something, but it is hard knowing that your little boys loves it so much. The only advice I can offer is I think you need to go and stay somewhere like Karitane or Tresillian, so they can give you all the support you need, as I think it will be hard going for quite a few days getting to sleep. You need to see your GP or early childhood nurse to arrange a referral. I went to Karitane for my daughter, and they were excellent. I wish you the very best of luck.

Kellie, mum to Emily 4yo, and Jack 21mths

I was in the exact situation, and felt that there would be no end to it. I hoped that my son would self-wean but instead,as he got older, he knew more, therefore, wanted to breastfeed more. Especially at night, just for a comfort thing. He has been weaned now for 2 weeks at the age of 2 and a half. My only solution was to stop feeding him cold turkey! It was the hardest thing I ever faced as a mother, but after the first few days passed (it was horrible - tantrums, crying, screaming, begging), he just gave up asking for it and now he has forgotten about it and finally sleeps through the night.
I also tried getting advice from many sources and just kept getting passed on to diff places. In the end, I decided to just stop. It's the ONLY way, believe me. I was you 2.5 weeks ago!!

Vaccines: Question what you're told...

Hi Nkechi,
I breast fed until my little girl was 15 months. I had to stop due to being pregnant- I was losing weight & had little energy. She was on 3 breast feeds a day which I cut down to 2 the next week, then to 1 the week after, then none. It was hard for both of us. Neither of us wanted to give up that connection but i just set dates and stuck to them. We had lots of tears, but she soon realised that it was no longer on offer. If she wanted milk- it was cow's milk. She tried to reach for the breast a few times after but i told her "no", and then got her cow's milk from the fridge in a sippy cup. It got rejected a few times but she soon came around.
At 20 months she started to try and drop her day sleep. I'm now heavily pregnant and I still need her to have that rest. She gets aggressive in the afternoons if she doesn't sleep. I moved her sleep back. It took a bit of trial & error to find out which times I could put her down for a sleep- it worked out that she will still sleep for 2hours if i put her to bed 2 hours later than she used to. It's what works at the moment. I'm sure it'll change again when her little sister arrives in the near future.
Good luck!!!
Sign in to follow this topic