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Seperation Anxiety Lock Rss

Can anyone give me any suggestions on the following. I have 2 children, a 3 year old and a 9 month old. My 3 year old has developed a HUGE seperation problem with me ( MUM ) over the past 2-3 months. My husband travels and is often away with work, but I could previously leave him with my mother or mother in law without any problem. Now he cries even if I move the car at someones home! At home he constantly looks for me, no privacy for me using the bathroom or shower. When my husband is home and he can help me, he constantly wants me to help him get dressed, fed, bathed and not Dad. I can't even pop out to the shops leaving Dad home with the kids without a crying tantrum. Basically I have no break at all.
Any ideas?????

Jo,VIC, Mum to 3yrs & 9 mth old

dont worry i have the same problem! but the only problem is i dont have i clue on how to stop it! if you get any ideas pleeeese let me know!

kris,sa 13mth bub

Busy Jo

Do you think it might have something to do with your younger one becoming a "real person" in your 3 year old's eyes? We had a bit of jealousy when my second hit around 7 months and could sit up and play, respond to us etc, but still needed to be carried around all the time.

I think luckily for me, the 3 year old has always been a daddy's boy so he doesn't always want me to do stuff for him.

We try to have a "session" a week with each of them separately, and do something that's really important to them. My husband takes the older one to Beach swimming classes, I take the younger to GymbaRoo. They also have some exclusive time with grandparents, so they are not fighting for someone's attention all the time.

I guess the only other thing I can offer is that he is old enough to understand that you really will come back - why don't you try leaving for a few minutes at a tme at first, explaining you'll be back in 5 minutes, and come good on your prmise. Then extend the time. And I would be locking the door to the toilet if you want some privacy!! It's worth putting up with the screaming and banging on the door for a few days?
Thanks so much for your thoughts. Even though Mr 3 loves his younger brother, it could be because he is now not a doll like figure anymore.
I'm going to try "I'll be back in 5" and see how it goes.
Thanks again!

Jo,VIC, Mum to 3yrs & 9 mth old

I had the same prob with my child, use to love staying with grandparents but we got to the stage that you are at now. Somebody suggested that I put her into child care. Didn't like the idea to start with as my hubby and I had agreed that I would stop work to look after the children. Now I have found a great day care centre. To start with she hated it & would have major tantrums but as she got use to going she inproved. Now when I say time to go to child care she helps to pack her bag & carries it to the car. Will cry when I go to leave but stops after 2 min & starts playing with the other kids. It gives me a full day to spend with my 8 month child and I also find that I can put up with the mummy mummy mummy much better now then before.

M&T 2 under 2

Hi there. I have a 12 month baby boy. I am going through the same of trying to leave him with people that he knows. I have to walk out the door when he's not looking otherwise he will scream because he's seen me walk out the door. I don't know what to do? I love him and everything. I try to leave him wiht different people so that he can get use to it, but sometimes I feel really horrible.

stacey, nz, 12mth baby

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