I have once borrowed a book named"Idiots gudie for good parenting" or similar (sorry couldn't remember the exact name.)though i didn't read much but looked like that was a good book but I am sure if u go to ur local library or even do a search on the internet u will get few good books. I also have a very stubborn and very very active toddler.(26 months)........The way I try to deal with her is i remove all the temptaion possilbe from her sight.......... try to distract her with something excitng........ sometimes ignore her tantrum but if she gets very distressed then try to comfort her but don't let her to have what she was asking straight way, when she settels down little bit then may give her what she was asking. BUt u know .nothing is guranteed to work for everything .and it does take lots of patience........and u do sometimes feel what else i can do........ but this is the time and few children are more strong willed than others.and in the end they r still just so young , and dont know what to do with their strong emotions....so its equally hard for them as well...........and you r not alone in this.