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  5. cannot leave her unattented at all

cannot leave her unattented at all Rss

My niece has really settle down in some ways. She does not touch herself nearly as much as she used to, only when she is upset or looking for extra attention. But now she is so really naughty and disobedient. She is only 2.5 but she backchats all the time, has to have the last say. She is always in mischief, like emptying the cupboards, drawing on walls, beating on the dog, jumping on the couch, her bed or just snatching or stirring the other kids. She will come into the lounge ten times a day and stand infront of the TV or rock back and forth infront of the other kids yelling at the top of her voice. She has no attetion span, she does not watch TV even for 5 mins, she is not interested and can't seem to sit quietly that long. When she is out in the yard spends the whole time snatching toys off the other kids or racing to the swings or trampoline first then refusing to share. I'm at my wits end with her. The kids are all raised the same but she is very strong willed and she will not compromise. She would rather spend the day in her room then the come out and try to PLAY with the other kids. The other kids also now don't want to play with her because it is just to much fighting and crying that they now go off and play together and only let her play when she demands to be let in. She is going to 'child and mental health ' once a month but she (doc) just say's to ingore her alot and she will change but when she is damaging stuff and upsetting the other kids it is very hard.
What would you do?

countrygirl

wow! Sounds like a pretty tough time you've all been going through!!

Now please don't take my opinions/advice out of context because I am not judging or trying to tell you what to do.... gasp)

I believe that when kids (of any age) have fingers in their pants or up their nose it is because they haven't got anything better to do at the time.... In other words I guess what Im trying to say is that when she touches herself she needs to be redirected to another "hands on" activity.

As for the backchat - ignore it, she's 2 you are an adult, you don't have to argue with a toddler, its pointless and way too tiring.

My youngest is a wall/book draw-er so I have to make sure that all pens/pencils/crayons etc are up and out of sight unless I am supervising. My almost 5 year old has a thing for makeup etc so I have seriously culled all my products and what I do own is kept locked in my room. I hate doing it as I would rather she just learn not to touch but no matter what consequence we give - if she can get into it she will so I find it less stressful to have it all out of sight.

I think the most important thing is to be super-consistant so that she knows exactly what will happen if she does a, b, or c. and don't give in because like pantene "it might not happen over night but it WILL happen".

As the "parent" you have to win every battle - If you don't think you can win or if it really doesn't matter, don't even worry about it.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 9 but I had known since he was 18 months old so I know how hard it is to deal with little angels when they are complete horrors.

Hope this helps in some way, look forward to hearing from you

Lisa gasp)

Lisa, SAHM of 3

Hi, it sounds like she is screaming out for some attention, as doing all the naughty stuff you described gets her attention. Even though its negative attention and not positive attention, its still what she wants and the only way she knows how to get it. Have you tried making a real fuss over her and no one else, even for one hour. Maybe take her into her room/playroom etc with some toys she likes and just play one on one with her. Tell her that you really want to play with her and chat to her about anything while you're together. Instead of yelling at her or sending her to her room when she does something naughty, look her in the eyes and tell her that what she did made you feel sad and that you don't like it when she does it. She might start to realise that she doesn't want to make you sad and she might start to think before she does something.
Anyways, hope this helps a little. Goodluck!

DD Giarna 25/05/05 DS Cameron 15/01/08

yes you do have to ignore her when she is playing up, but you have to remeber to praise her when she is doing something good, even if its something small like eating her dinner.
if not she will just continue on her path of distruction.
she needs to learn that good behaviour will earn attention and bad behaviour will get her no where.
if she is mean to the other children she needs to be excluded from group activities and be explanied that this is her fault and if she was being a good girl she could play to.
If she seems to be naughty all the time you are going to have to find the smallest things to priase he for untill ie: eating dinner, getting dressed, brushing her teeth, putting her seatbelt on untill she gets the idea.
Good luck.
We have 2 other children, and we have been very careful to raise all the children the same. She gets alot of positive attention. She gets hugs all the time, we are very affectionate people and want our children to grow up to be loving and careing also. We try to be aware of how we address these issuses with her. I do ignore her backchat or her having her last say but it is obviously not working as she is getting worse. As for positive attention I play alot with all the kids but she has no interest in joining unless she is messing up the game or being selfish. I make it my priorty to have special time with each child alone for at least a half hour everyday. She is great all while I have that one on one time with her, she cannot handle the other kids gettting attention, for fear she may miss out. I'm certainly not going to push my kids aside just to give her more attention. They don't have a problem with the attention she gets and she is just going to have to accept that she is not going to be centre of attention the whole time. My main problem is if I set them up with a game I will play with them for a few minutes then race off to the washing machine and when I get back she has gone off to another room and getting into mischeif or she has picked up the game and thrown it down the hall and run off laughing, which has off course upset the other kids. Everytime I leave them for a few minutes to do house work I half run so I can get back to them because I know she will be into something, or being naughty. I end up leaving most of my house work until Hubby gets home because I constantly worried if I leave her alone she will injure herself or someone else. I mantioned this to her Doctor but she said just give her time. It's easy for her to say she isn't living here day in and day out going over the same stuff everyday. Everyone says be consistant she will learn, (WHEN ?) most of things she gets into it has been going on since she was 15 months old and everyday she is told not to do it. As for the pens they are up away form her reach but she climbs, I have taken to buying cupboards and locked alot of our things in there and padlocked them. The other kids have had to come and ask for special toys to be taken out so they can play with them after she has gone to bed. YES she is only 2.5

countrygirl

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