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  5. When to start- before or after bub #2?

When to start- before or after bub #2? Lock Rss


We will be having another baby in August this year and I have started to think about the world of toilet training. When should I start DD 1 is 18months old, and tells me when she has done a poo. I'm not sure how to start the whole toilet training thing, and if I should wait until bub 2 comes along? In the next few months, DD will also be moving bedrooms and into a big bed, so she is about to have a lot of changes.

Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated.


Sounds like you should be looking at familarisation, not TT. People get confused, but if you look at familiarisation as all the ground work - which can take upto a year, then the TT being the final stage when they are ready to go into knickers/jocks full time (day) - it makes the whole process seem a bit easier.

Don't worry about when bub number 2 comes, just kick into famil now and go to TT when your bub shows all the signs, predominantly when they can identify before they need to go that wee/poo feeling.

Things to do now is to introduce the potty and/or toilet. If you choose potty, leave it in the play area for them to experiment with. Over time, get them to sit on it (clothed) and read a story - make it a fun thing. Get them to practice holding a teddy or doll on there as if they are doing a wee. Talk about what is happening, what you want to happy - it really pays off as they are taking all that information in.

At the same time, take them to the toilet with you. Leave the door open, let them watch, listen and talk through what is going on. Make it a fun and exciting time (yes, its a bit confronting) but nothing hits home sooner than them being able to see it all in action.

Keep an eye on their body language, this is a really important step if you can catch it. Look for signs they have that feeling, grabbing at their crutch - or like my DD, she would go to the corner of the room and squat - lol. When I saw any-thing leading to what I thought was a wee/poo I'd see if I could take her nappy off and sit her on the potty or toilet. Often it was after the fact, but in time - I was able to catch a couple before.

Once you catch a couple and really get excited, give them a sticker or a stamp - things tend to move along quite nicely. It still can take months till you go to knickers full time, but there is usually increased identification pre the feeling and more wee's and poo's on the toilet instead of the nappy.

Best of luck, the more time you put into the familiarisation (setting the routine) the easier TT will eventually be.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

After will be fine, I have 22mnths between my daughters (2yrs & 3mnths) and it is going well. When she wants to go to the toilet she does, it's all up to her at this point. Keep it simple!

Huggies Mum abroad!

Hey Tashi, my son is 20 months old and we are expecting bub number two in 30 days i have started giving DS the chance to use the potty most off the time when i go to change his nappy he wants to wear jocks so i let him and every hour or so put him on potty, its only the begging but its what he wants to do, good luck to you!
i would try putting her on the toilet just to get used to it,

alsop invest in a toilet step ladder,IMO much easier then potty
I started TT my girl a few months before my second was born, she was a few months off two. She was going so well and even dry at night and would tell me if she needed toliet and only had a few wees in pants if she was busy playing. As soon as bub two came along she has gone backwards worse than the first week i started training. Its so hard for me to be positive and to keep with it. Also her cousin is a little older and isnt traing at all and my girl now wants to be back in nappies cause cousins nappies have wiggles on them! All kids are different and my story maybe so different from what may happen to you. If i was to do it all again i would wait till second bub was about 3-4 months old and i could give her a toy to play with while i help first tot was toliet good luck and let me know how you go. Good luck with birth

I love Kazi's advice...

Mine are 22 months apart as well, and I wish I'd done some familiarisation before Mops was born. It's quite time consuming and there's not a great deal of time with a little bub! I also have carpet ... hmmm - don't want too many accidents!

Noodle 24/12/05 Mops 03/11/07

I too think Kazi has some great advice

I have heard of many pushing to TT before a baby arrives. I think it is too much pressure on you and the child and I also have seen a lot where the child has regressed when the baby arrives.

I would def go with the familiarisation but wait till bubs arrives and settles in a bit before trying to TT, particularly as your DD is still quite young.

Good LUck

Hi Tashi,

I'm in very much the same situation as you. I'm also due in August and have a DD just turned 2 who I am hoping to have toilet trained before bubs is born. Like your little one, she's also having a lot of changes recently such as moving to a big bed and soon to go in with her 5yr old sister, also hoping to cut out bed time bottles and dummy ... so the next four months are going to be quite a challenge!!

Anyway, back to toilet training ... some tips I can pass on from TT my 5yr old would be to take your DD shopping with you and let her pick out a special padded toilet seat, some undies, some reward stickers and some pull-up's (or bed-time undies as we called them).

I also purchased a book on Ebay last week called "The Big Toilet - For Gilrs" which is FANTASTIC! It has all Australian words such as nappies (not diapers), wee, poo etc and has a little flush button which makes the sound of the toilet flushing to get them used to the flushing sound in a fun way. This is great for them to read while sitting on the toilet and also in helping them understand. The tip about having her practice with her favourite teddy or doll is also a great idea, and when the doll "does a wee", throw a huge party ... really go over the top (this may feel a bit silly ... but hey, noone else can see!). I also recommend going straight to the toilet as they are more familiar with this than a potty ... after all, when was the last time they saw mum or dad sitting on a potty?

The approach I took was to set aside one day and dedicate the entire day to helping your DD get the idea of TT. Cancel any plans, take the phone off the hook, have your mop and bucket handy and you're good to go! Put on her "big girl undies" and give your DD plenty of water to drink throughout the day giving her lots of opportunity to go to the toilet. Then, around every 20 minutes tell her it's toilet time (get really excited), and sit there for 5 minutes or so. If she does go, the praise must be huge (time for another big party!), and reward her with a sticker (we made up a sticker chart & stuck it on the toilet wall which worked really well ... if your DD doesn't seem motivated by stickers, try a smartie or tiny teddy etc everytime she has a success).

When she has accidents, it is so important not to get frustrated or angry at her, as this will only make her not want to use the toilet more.

We also went completely cold turkey on the nappies as this only confuses them if they're going from undies to nappies, to pullups to undies etc. So we used undies through the day, and pullups ("bed-time undies") at night.

Using these techniques, our first daughter picked up TT very quickly and easily, so hopefully it all goes as well this time round! I'm hoping to start on Monday next week, given I have two weeks with no school drop-offs and pickups ... so fingers crossed!

Given we're both in pretty much the same situation, would be great to chat and share tips on how our little ones are coping with the changes. Are you in the "Due in August" group, in pregnancy & birth? If not, you're more than welcome to come over for a chat. There's about 600 of us in there (well, seems like 600 ... August is certainly a very busy month!).

Take care & good luck smile
[Edited on 09/04/2008]

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

I really like Kazi's advice as well.

My two girls are 19 months apart. I was in Target one morning not long after my second little girl was born and a woman in there asked me if my first was toilet trained and how old was she. I said she was 19 months and no not yet. She said don't try! She said she did it with her two and it was an absolute nightmare trying to watch a new bub and run off to the loo immediately when asked! I took the advice and I'm glad I did. I struggle putting the wiggles on and rocking bubs at the same time LOL!

Having said that, it was obvious at that stage that my first wasn't ready for it anyway so I'm sure it would have been a wasted exercise for her at that point, although I know some kids are fantastic by that age.

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