My son is 3 on 11th March and although has been toilet trained both day and night for about 5months now, with no accidents he refuses to do a poo on the toilet. No amount of bribary, singing, reading a book etc will get him to go. He is scared of sitting on the toilet (or potty) and thinks it is dirty. Any suggestions

We also had a toilet phobia, although not related to being dirty. We seem to have now solved it by putting ping pong balls in for wees - it's now become a game to see who can make the balls dance the highest.

So maybe you can get him to help you clean the toilet seat before you sit on it, put some food colouring in or get him to help you put in a "bloo loo" or something which he may be able to relate to visibly cleaning the toilet? If he has some sense of ownership of the toilet (or potty) he may be more interested.

Good luck. A week ago I thought it was never going to happen, but since then it's looking much more positive!

I can understand little children being afraid of the toilet - that is a lot of space for a small bottom to sit over. Just a few suggestions - as already mentioned, make a big deal of cleaning the toilet if the hygiene thing is the big issue and have him help you. If you don't already have one, purchase one of those seats that sits over the toilet and has a small two step ladder - this up could make the experience a little more fun. Bowel training is more difficult than bladder control and I would not condone embarrasing a child, but perhaps if you are not already doing so, putting a nappy back on your son until he learns some measure of control is an option. Little boys, as a rule, tend to toilet train later than girls, but if you find the going gets too tough, visit your local health clinic or see your doctor. They will be able to assist you with proven methods and also make sure there are no real problems. I see that you also have a little girl, so whatever happens don't let that put you off when the time comes for her to toilet train.

My son is now 4 and although we had no trouble toilet training him for wee and getting him out of night nappies, he too is adamant he will not use the toilet to do poo.


I have tried all the bribes. I have sat on the toilet floor and read books to him. Just recently I threatened to take away one of his favourite games and not return it until he sat on the toilet. The result was that he no longer needed to use his bowel because he didn't want to lose his game or use the toilet. Unfortunately as he gets older he becomes alot wiser and the fear of sitting on the toilet is growing out of proportion.

I have had him to the doctor and physically he is fine. The advise was not to make an issue out of it.

My son has told me he does not like getting his bottom splashed. He did use the toilet twice when we toilet trained him for wee and I beleive this may have scared him.

The solution for the splashing is to place toilet paper in the bowel. Unfortunately he will not be convinced.

Unless there is a solution out there, I will also continue to persevere.

my son will be 3 in may & he asks for a nappy to poo in too! I haven't thougth to ask him why he wont poo on the toilet , good idea.

Leave him. he will do it himself when he is ready.... only he knows.

have a water spray bottle and put a sticker of bugs on it and tell him it magic spray thats cleans the seat and kills the germs, that way thers no chemicals to worry about! and a way to conqure his problem!

My daughter is 2 years and is toilet trained for wee wees, but she also refuses to do a poo in the potty or toilet and insists on wearing a nappy. I 've tried everything from reading stories while she sits on the potty, to bribery but to no avail. By asking for a nappy I know she understands the urge to use her bowels but I have no idea why she won't use the potty to go. I have come to the conclusion that maybe its best not to force the issue and let her set the pace. What other choice do we have? Be sure to share your secret if you have a breakthrough!

I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old who will both turn a year older in Novemember this year. Both are boys. My 3 year old has no problem in doing poos on the potty, but when it comes to wee's he seems to just ignore the fact that he wants to go, he knows what he is suppose to do, but just keeps on playing. Then when he does wet his pants he does not seem to care at all, he just keeps on playing, I do not know what to do?

My 2 year old has the wee's completely under control and can come and tell me when he needs to go if we are out and all, I love it, but he holds on to his poos till the end of the day. So when I put a nappy on for bed he goes off and does a poo. It is so interesting as I have 2 trained at the same time, but in different areas and I just don't know what to do, except keep persisting.

I won't take my 2 year olds nappy off at night as I am scared he will hold all his poos in and do some damage to himself, although he hates wearing nappies now, and often will wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me he needs to go to the potty.

Any Suggestions would be appreciated

Finally My recently turned 5 year old son has used the toilet for pooh.
For the past five months when he asked for a nappy I would ask if he will use the toilet and I would refuse to give him a nappy. He would cry and carry on, but eventually he would at least sit on the toilet.
I know he would try but he was so scared it would hurt him that when he tried to push he would also attempt to hold on at the same time. After a couple of hours I would give in, praise him for trying and give him a break for 2-3 weeks. Last week we tried again.
After 2 hours of sitting on the toilet on and off crying with tears running down his face and I was kneeling infront him. He asked me if I would get him a nappy and I said no. Because he was tired and crying he screamed and at the same time by screaming it pushed the muscles in his bowel down and it came out. He realised it didn't hurt at all. He stopped crying, very happily finished his business and has been excited doing it by himself ever since.

Do persevere. Give lots of praise. Try very hard not to get frustrated and show your disappoitment.
They will all do it eventually.

My friend had this problem with her daughter.
She would ask for a nappy so she could do a poo.
My friend got her to sit on the toilet in her nappy to do her poo. After a while she cut a whole in the nappy, which her daughter knew about. Then they managed to take away the nappy. It took about 4 mnths.

hi abc123. My name is sue I have 3 kids under 5 years old I live in NSW I would love to be your e-mail pal. My e-mail address is [email protected] Please e-mail me anytime.


sue keeffe nsw.