You sound exactly like me. I have the cot pushed up against the side of the bed with the rail half down. Initially so that I could see Jess breath (paranoid first mum), then so that I could pat her back to sleep when she stirred and now she has taken to waking up, climbing over the rail and getting into bed with us. (It's so cute). This doesn't worry me at all, and I know some Mums would die if they knew about this. Mum tells me that me and my brothers slept with them as babies, and my husband slept with his Mum as a baby, and there's nothiing wrong with us! They are only babies once, the time goes so fast, I love having her in bed with us, and when I look back, I know I'll cherish it. I know my Mum does. Everyone is different, but I don't believe that the parents who allow their child in bed with them should be criticized for doing it. I have a friend who always tells me I'm doing the wrong thing by letting Jess in bed with us and I'm sick of it. Next time she says anything I think I'll stand up for myself.
Steve Biddulph writes books about parenting, and tells a story about a couple who went to work on the Cook Islands. They had their first baby whilst living in a village there. On the first night, the mum couldn't settle the baby and was lying there, listening to it cry, hoping it would settle, when there was a knock at the door. It was a group of the village mums, coming to see what was wrong with the baby, as babies in the pacific don't cry unless there is something terribly wrong. When the ladies made it in to there home, they could see what was wrong with the baby! It was in a cot! Babies get lonely and need to be loved! It should be in bed with it's parents! This is just one side of the debate about whether babies should sleep in our beds. I believe that if you thinks it's okay, then it is okay. It's entirely up to you.
I also feed my baby to sleep (she's just gone 12 months). I'm currently weaning her, at the moment she's having milk from a cup at lunch time. Once she gets used to this then I'll cut out her morning feed, then her night feed. I am wondering what's going to happen when the night feed goes - how am I going to put her to sleep??????? I guess time will tell.
Sorry this has been so longwinded. Good to know there are other mums out there like me.
Mummy of 2 little angels. 6/6/03 & 3/8/05 & No 3