oh i know how you feel! and i cant tell you how excited i am to find someone in the same boat as me!!
my daughter is 24 months. still breastfeeding, still cosleeping. she actually used to be a great sleeper for a newborn, bed @ 930. wake at 130. 430. 730 then up at 930. then from about 9 days old she slept 930, til 330. then over the next few weeks it built up to her going 930, til 530am then back to sleep til 930. it was GREAT!!
but silly me. i ALWAYS. i mean ALWAYS breastfed her to sleep. i remember sometimes she was soo tired and crying and so i just put the boob in her mouth. sometimes she would refuse it outright. but i was soo clueless i thought, she needs boobie she just doesnt realise it!! so i would just keep trying til she accepted it and went to sleep. i know how bad that sounds! i didnt realise that what she really wanted was to be put into her bed and to SLEEP.
another mistake i made was never taking her to her room. i would just feed her on the couch in front of the tv til she fell asleep. cos of this i never knew how often she fed, cause she was just always on the boob, as food, as comfort, as anything!
at about 3 months old she got too big for her basinette so i tried putting her into the cot. at the same time she got sick and had gotten needles just prior. so she was obviously upset. she went back to waking up @ 430. then 330. then 130. i freaked. eep im doing something wrong. of course now i know she was going thru a growth spurt plus she had been sick and on top of all that she had to get used to a new bed. i should have persised. instead i brung her into bed with me, so i could get some sleep.
i was a single mum, 17 and living at home with my parents. so i didnt have any other things to do. no housework. no partner to have couple time with etc. so to be honest, cosleeping sorta suited me. i didnt have to get up and she went back to sleep sooo quickly. by this time i had mastered feeding laying down so it became very convenient.
fast forward a few months and i met my current partner dean. it was long distance at first so the cosleeping still suited. except her sleeping was getting worse.. on the boob a lot etc. it got to the point where i couldnt roll over cause she would wake up!
i was soo paranoid about her even whimpering that i just panicked and gave her the boob.
now, at 2 years old she has still got this habbit but much much much worse. now i live in a different state with my partner, i have a house to run etc and im just DYING for some personal time, some space.
she can take hours to settle at night, of course always going to sleep on the breast. and staying that way ALL night. rolling over? nup, cant do that. she sleeps ontop of me, horizontally on the boob. very uncomfortable. i dont get sleep. my partner always goes to sleep in the spare bed as she is kicking him all night and he has to get up at 530 for work.
ive tried her in her bed. i last til 1am, sometimes 3. but i can never make it longer than that. she will wake up every 40 minutes, at least. if not more sometimes. of course, only going back to sleep with the boob. and it takes about an hr and a half before i can get her off it and go back to my own bed where i dont sleep cause i lay there knowing she will wake up any minute.
my relationship is suffering i have pnd which is getting worse and worse every day.
i have no family nearby that can help. i havent made friends here. and my partner works a lot and at bad hours so he cant help out.
i dont wanna do controlled crying i know its not something i could stick with. there is a sleep centre i rang but i have no way of getting there, its about 40 mins drive away from me. they did give me some hints that so far havent worked.
i have bought the no cry sleep solution for toddlers, ive read about 100 pages. i cant find the time!! i know i have to find time to finish it but how... my daughter sleeps 30 mins without me during the day. the rest of the time she is with me 24.7 she is unhappy from not getting enough rest. while she is a happy and very loving child she is also short tempered and throws at least 20 tantrums a day. i know its cause im stressed from all of this and she isnt getting enough sleep.
i dont think i can cope anymore, my partner doesnt quite understand and thats why im so happy to have found there are other people out there like me who are having trouble with this.. after 2 years i just need space. time out. i need it my daughter needs it my relationship needs it.. i just dunno where to start!
im sorry i couldnt offer any advice but thanks so much for giving me a chance to share some of my story. its given me perspective, i know i need to fix things.
i wish you a lot of luck in solving this and if you get any good advice that works please share it!!