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hi my 13 month old is in a bad routine.ever since she was born i have put her to sleep by either having her in bed with us,nursing her,lying her on the couch next to me or in the i am fed up,how can i get her to go to sleep on her own? i try putting her in her cot and leaving her to cry but she goes into hysterics and someties vomits she gets so worked up... i reallyneed some advice here

24 year old mum to 2 beautiful girls

hi rebecca
unfortunatley i have learned from experience that letting them cry is the only way to get them to go to sleep by themselves. when my daughter was 11mths old (and i was 6 mths preg with my son) i had the same problem. i could get her to go to bed with little trouble but she would wake up about 10pm and sometimes cry for hours. i am not sure how long you have been trying to get to go to sleep without you, but it took me a week of hell before she finally figured it out. firstly i let her cry for about 10 minutes, then went in layed her down, patted her etc, and then walked out of the room. i repeated this every 10 - 15 minutes, and gradually stretched the length of time out as we progressed, sometimes letting her cry for 20 - 30 minutes at a time. and also the less talking the better, i hummed or whispered a bit of reassurance but nothing conversational. but try not to stress about it - it is hard but worth it in the end. just remember what one of my child care nurses told me - no baby ever died from crying! i hope this is some help to you and maybe somebody else has a better solution. let me know how it goes.

deb, NSW, 3 yr girl and 2 yr boy


I think what you need to do is establish a routine and stick to this every single day until she understand this. The simple routine to remember is dinner, play, bath then bed. At bed time you might like to read her a book when she's in her cot, turn the main light on and have the lamp on, this seems to relax them into a nice sleep.

Hope this works for you.


Mum to toddler

There is a great website which helps with routines for all ages and encourages children to sleep all night on there own. You have to pay for the routine for your childs age but it is worth it and it worked for me.

good luck
Depending on where you live, you could try one of the mothercraft hospitals such as tresillian - (I know the one in the ACT takes kids up to 3 years old). They could help with developing a bedtime routine, and also provide emotional support to you while coping with the crying.
If you do it on your own, and she vomits, try to clean it up with as little fuss and attention as possible, and then continue with the plan you had before she was sick - it sounds very tough and heartless, but the last thing you want is her to learn that by vomiting she will get what she wants - this will only lead to more vomiting - and not just at bedtime.

Good luck.

mum to 2 girls

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