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Hi,
Just wondering whether people have some advice on how to cope (and retain my own self-esteem and sanity) in an exceptionally high maintenance r'ship with H ....Sorry, there's currently no D in this partnership at the moment !

We have an adorable 18mth old son who is literally an angel baby, very laid-back and loved to bits BUT ......

I'm finding my husband exceptionally demanding, and behaves like the world revolves around him. He doesn't take any responsibility for his own welfare or finances. He doesn't believe in saying 'thank-you', because they are things that I should be doing anyway apparently! There simply is no respect or appreciation, and as a result I find myself completely devoid of respect for him.
I gave up my career to move to a new town for a better paying job for himself and a new start in a nicer environment for children etc. Initially, things were workable but now I feel the 'man of the house' cr*p is going a bit far. He looks at me with such pure hatred when I question decisions made on behalf of us as a couple. He has security issues, but I feel he is should be adult enough to address these. I'm fed up with all the molly-codeling I have to dish out o make him feel good, when it's not reciprocated. I have no idea where these hassles are going to lead, and yes it does scare me. I'm also beginning to question my own motives (ie. is it resentment I'm feeling for the sacrifices I've made while getting no thanks for it?)
I would like us to tolerant each other for the sake of our son. My H often has me in tears ... and as a smart woman (well, I'd like to think so) I'm beginning to resent myself for not pulling myself out of the dowward spiral and look after myself. If I look back in our relationship, the high maintenance was always there ... but became exasperated when Liam was born (and my attention was directed elsewhere). Funny, there is no resentment displayed towards our son ... just an indifference/ arrogance towards me. We've tried marriage counselling - He refused to go back after the 2nd time, because he said it was a lot of rot.
I've made my bed ... but I think we're on the edge of losing our friendship.
So.... Long story short ....
I figured I'm going to work on myself first .... Has anyone gone through the same thing and have any ideas of what I can do for ME ?!! smile

Thanks girls!

Sue, DS b. Mar 2004

Wow what a sad story babe. You sound amzingly strong/switched on for being able to even see that this is all happening!!

I dont have any advice but sending you a big hug!

Steph

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

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