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Issues with my mother when I am trying to discipline my son Lock Rss

Hello everyone

we had my mother over on the weekend and our 2 year old hit our little girl so we told him he did the wrong thing etc and then we weren't talking to him for a few minutes I had to tell my mother 3 times not to talk to him and she kept asking why!

we have our bathroom door closed and she opened the door for our 2 year old to let him in! i couldn't believe it!

my DH had to bite his tongue (he can't stand my mother - that's a long story) mum and I have never been close and sometimes I ask myself why do I bother if it is going to be this frustrating with her all the time!

I have told her before that it makes it difficult for me to discipline my son if she is going to undermined me all the time she just doesn't listen!

I am lost as to what to do, I wonder half the time if she is the reason I am often grumpy and if I should just stop all contact

I just don't know what to do anymore

melissa, vic, Patrick 2.5 & Laura 15 months

Just my opinion but only you know what is best for your children! They are your kids and you discipline them however you want to. I think it comes to the stage where we have to say to our mothers enough is enough and tell them to but out!!! We need to raise our kids how we want to, not how they raised us! So my advice is sit her down and tell her how you feel and say that you do not want her undermining you all the time, if you don't it will only get worse. I know our parents mean well, but hey they are our children.... I hope i have helped in some way.
Kathryn

Kathryn mummy to William and PG with TWINS

This sounds very similar to my own mother, she likes to think she is the dictator, I am now married with 3 children (she does not like this) still treats me like a child!! My husband cannot stand her reasoning and ways. So we moved state in 2003 and have never looked back. I feel for you.

oh mel I have just learned how much we have in common! LOL
my mother seems to love "helping" raise my kids, to the point of my feeling invisible at times. If my kids are naughty we deal with it in our own way, often to ignore them for several minutes after explaining what they did wrong BUT my mother will then play adult/child psycological games with them trying in her own way to "rectify" the situation. I have told her to IGNORE them but often she's forgotten that within a few minutes and is back to dealing with it in her own way. I get soooooo cranky that as their mother I'm not being respected in my way of disciplining them. She also likes to invite dd1 to come stay at "grandma's" BEFORE consulting me to see if it suits. By which time dd is already excited and then if she can't go I'M the baddie for saying no for whatever reason. I've told mum to PLEASE check with me before asking my daughter that sort of thing and she says "oh, OK" but promptly forgets and does it again!
I am also at a loss and just like you I wonder (in fact, I am SURE) that's the reason I'm often so moody as I can feel my blood pressure rising when she's on the phone "arranging" when next to come help with the kids or pick up dd to have overnight etc etc.
Anyway, sorry to ramble on but WOW you touched on a nerve there. Also I apologise for not being able to help I just wanted to say I'm so in your place it's eerie!
Let me know if you come up with any coping mechanisms won't you?!
All the best
xx

Dizie, 2 girls, 2002 & 2003

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