My son is just approaching 13mths and is driving me crazy. Since I have returned to work he has become so naughty! If there is anything at all around he shouldn't have (that is not much) he will find it. I spend all day telling him to stop it, put it down, no, and the list goes on.

We have locks on every cupboard and draw, there is the bare minimum in each room, anything else is stored out of sight or up high. However he still gets into trouble. He also has a temper tanturm when ever I leave his sight or go to do something. He wants me there infront of him watching him play all the time.

Smacking is the last resort and it is becoming a regular thing, as nothing else will work.
I want to enjoy the 3 days a week we have together without daddy, however I am now really looking foward to having time away from him and some days dread picking him up as he will start again as soon as we get home.

I know they love to explore at this age however I can't take much more! What happens when he is older and I can't control him? How can I stop him now?

From a mummy having a really bad day

Hi Emily,

(((hugs))) to start, you sound like you need them. Just remember when everything is getting real bad, your child, i guarentee is not the worst.

Yes, i hear you, all i seem to say to my son at the moment is NO. My 3 yo daughter is forever stepping in too, making things worse.

The best advice i can give, is to stick to your guns. If things get bad, put him in his cot for punishment, he will learn.

I have had two kiddies, who seem happiest when they are destroying something of mums work. Either clothes off the clothes hoist, or books of the bookshelf, the list goes on!

All my rooms are shut off, and those that they can open have child proof latches....hehe, we are getting there with time!

I'm sorry i haven't been of much help, but perseverence will pay off. Just stick to your original rules,

Take care,

Tepe

Hi Emily,

My daughter is a great explorer also and always into everything. I've ended up trying to determine which types of wrong doing should be punished. ....or things that I should stop her from doing. For example, getting things out of the rubbish bin, touching the heater, playing with power points....all the dangerous things, my daughter will get in trouble for if she does them. Other things that are more annoying than dangerous, at this stage I just leave alone and try to distract her to something else as soon as possible.
I don't want to start a smacking debate....so don't start one anybody...but I do smack my daughter on the hand or thigh when she is constantly doing the wrong thing. I give her lots of warning first though. I say...No, Naomi...don't touch, and then it might be No, don't touch, Mummy will smack....and then if she still doesn't leave it, then I smack her. I just know that I need to be consistent, and follow through with what I've said I will do, and it is working for my daughter.
Just remember that they will grow up, and then they won't be so silly anymore......we've just got to have patience for a few years!! smile
Georgina

I'm similar to George in that there are certain things that I say No to, ie touching the oven (even when off) powerpoints, going into the lounge (we have a wood burner) etc. Anything that is going to cause some harm. Other things I just put out of reach like the bin. The only room that Jack can go in freely apart from the kitchen/dining is his bedroom. unfortantly Jack can say No as well which I find quite sad but theres not much else I can do about it. We also have the usual locks/latches on cupboards etc. When Jack has a tantrum I tend to laugh as it can be quite funny!! He normally throws himself down on the ground and bangs his head, after the second bang he looks to me for my reaction, when he sees me laughing he changes tack and the tantrum is finished. I think it's something that you have to ride out, I usually tell myself (when I feel that I AM going to throw myself on the floor and bang my head) that Jack is only 17 months old and is prob:
1. Testing the boundries
2. Bored/ tired or both
I also tell myself to forget about the little things and just worry about the big things. Hope this helps in that you are not alone and just hang in there.

Jo

I find laughing helps with my 17 mth old too. If she is throwing a tantrum and I laugh she can't help but stop screaming to find out why Mummy's laughing.
Also, I don't want to advocate sticking kids in front of the TV, but we have a great Playschool Nursery Rhymes DVD that has absolutely saved my sanity several times. Maya loves it, she sings along (kind of) and dances and she can even say "Playschool" lol. I only put it on once a day at the most, but if she is really testing my patience and I can't cope, it works wonders. She sits on her little couch with a bowl of crackers or fruit and that gives me 5 mins peace!
PS. The rest of the day she is running around like a madman, and I take her for walks etc. so I don't think TV is doing her too much damage.

I think you really do have to pick your battles at this age. Otherwise everything is just a fight all day and you are constantly saying "no". You get sick of the sound of your own voice. All the suggestions to target the dangerous behaviours are spot on, I think, and my advice is to pick your rules and stick to them. If your baby knows, at this age, what to expect when he does something, then he will know what behaviour to choose as time goes on. Being consistent is really hard work, but is the only way in the long run. Undoing bad behaviours in a 5 year old starting school is a lot harder than setting up firm boundaries in a toddler. I think a little distraction is great. TV, sometimes is fine. But the best thing I found for my kids (especially my boys) was outside time and changes in environment. We would walk or drive to the park and I would just let him run it off. Toddlerhood is very frustrating for little ones and good boundaries are reassuring to them, even if they test them all day! You are all doing great, I'm sure, and as I say every day when something new comes up "This too shall pass!"

Hi Nyrrek,

Gosh you have such a way with words....what you say is sooo true. There is no point staying home all day and getting house bound and tearing your hair out!

Most days i send kiddies out the back for an hour. Yes, i have to change their clothes by the time they come in, sand dirt whatever. But they just love the outside stimulas. After our outside venture, we come in have lunch and then SLEEP!

Goodluck everyone,

Tepe

Hi everyone
Thanks for all the advice, it was a really bad day the other day. I agree that all the dangerous things are a no go zone, like the oven, the heater, bathroom cupboards (he likes to sit in the bath lol very cute)
His really annoying habits in include reorganising the cds, editing my magazines (ripping up pages in old ones) emptying the pantry, tupperware cupboard and cooking tin draw and putting all the clean wahing in the bathtub. lol
He really likes to be outside, but with no fence and alot of dangerous things (we do alot of gardening hence big holes in the yard at the moment! and my man is rebuilding a vintage car) I am a bit unsure about letting him into the yard as daddy's car stuff is so much more interesting than mums pegs and trolley.
The other huge problems is he eats everything! I mean EVERYTHING a few of the grosser things are Grease, bird poo and a rock!
Has anyone any good suggestions of how I can keep him busy outside, we have a fisher and price swing and a single see-saw?
Thanks again for your support!

I know you said he eats everything (my 2.5 year old STILL eats everything - gross!) but maybe a sand pit might be a winner. You can buy great quality sand from landscape suppliers and could simply use a clam shell or something to put it in. My son will dig for hours. His favourite thing at the moment is his bike and he spends at least three hours a day on it!! (proper bike with training wheels). Of course your little one isn't quite ready for that yet. When the weather heats up he loves water. If you have a safe, waterproof area - let him go with small buckets, cups and water toys. Just lids and colanders and things are great fun. Don't put a bucket down low in case he falls in, though. Try putting a basin on a small table and letting him go for it. A few drops of food colouring in the water is great. My kids loved anything with wheels like prams and tonka trucks and wagons. Give them things to load up and push around. Big, bouncy balls, like a gym ball or beach ball are fun. My son also loves his "Mike" mower from 'Playskool'. It talks and makes noises. Hope this gives you a few ideas - it is a bit tricky with other things he shouldn't touch, but maybe some of these things can help. Have fun.

Forgot to mention my kids have always just loved going for walks up the street. I would give them a little box or basket to collect stuff in, like rocks, leaves, feathers and other toddler treasures! Just a hundred metres up the street and back can take up half an hour in toddler time.

Hi Em,

My little girl is only just starting to listen to me when I say 'No'! I try to also leave the smacking as a last resort but sometimes they just need one! At my girl's age I only give her a light tap on her hand and it seems to be enough for her to realise I shouldn't be doing that!

Her finally starting to listen couldn't have come at a better time with me not feeling to crash hot at the moment due to being 6.5 wks pregnant!

I think they are also testing the boundaries at this age...well, starting too! Just be sure to stay consistant with your boundaries and punishment because if they are all over the place then he will only become confused with what he can and can't do!

Hi

You are not alone I have two 3 yr olds whom at 2 and roughly10mths have started doing their worst. Before this I too have done the same with the saftey lock and stuff, but I have found that time out at the spot of the house that you know they would hate to be left alone the most is best, ie their door, or the least interesting boring corner wall. I found after an hour, then another, sometimes two hours of this soon put mitivous son into line, now I just have to threaten time out and he behaves. Also takeing away his favourite thing for that day may help. You must let him know who's boss. Also make sure he isn't leaning on wall or using his hands to play on wall or fidgit, give him stricked instructions he is to stand there with hands by side and face facing the wall and not move, this gives him no fun and interest, and he will soon beg to stop time out. Don't give in no matter how guilty you may feel, this is a ploy and he will again ride all over you. Hope this helps.

My gooness Leisa you really are a piece of work.

I understand that it can be hard with twins but what you are doing is bordering on child abuse. A child does not have the attention span of an adult and therefore after about 15 minutes would have forgotten what he was there for in the first place. For 2 hours you say you sometimes leave your son, have you ever tried this yourself, its darn near impossible his poor legs must be in so much pain from the build up of lactic acid. What do you do if he needs to go to the toilet? I read on another post that you were having trouble with one son and his bladder, perhaps its because he's so nervous.

You may think you are doing the right thing but your children will grow up resenting you and will stear clear when given the choice.

Maybe your boys could be bored, get them outside, go for a walk, take them to the park to run off excess energy.

I just can't understand how a mother who says she loves her children can treat them so cruelly. you should be careful about who you tell of your wicked techniques as you may find yourself erported for child abuse. It may not be physical but it certainly is emotional. I have said this to you in another post in the hope that it sinks in and you stop.
Kristy