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THE SH!TEST MOTHER :( Lock Rss

Please dont judge me i just need to get this off my chest im feeling horrible as it is for for feeling the way i do, im at my wits end i dont know what to do anymore im so sick off my DD some days i just want to adopt her out! (not that i ever would of course love her to peices)

she doesnt listen at all, i find myself yelling and screaming and having a tanty myself, i never wanted to be this type of mother and it i use to think i was a good mum but lately i dont know where ive gone wrong sad i smack her on the bottom atleast 5times a day sometimes ive even left a red mark. im sick of people thinking she is a naughty little brat, not that they ever say it to my face but i can tell that they are thinking she is a little sh!t. I know most the things she does is age typical and a phase bla bla it doesnt matter hwo much time and attetion i give her its never good enough she always wants more more MORE!

this afternoon DS was having tummy time on rug on the floor where DD and i were also siting playing with her doll house and trucks and stuff, i get up to go get a drink, open thr fridge and DD who followed me asks for a lollie snake so i gave her one and she runs back over and sits down where we were playing whilst i poured myself a drink, its all open plan kitchen,dining & living area so i coudl see her and DS i seriosuly was gone not even 2seconds and what do you think she does....gives DS a peice of red snake the size of my pinky about 2cm long, he gags i race over and try to stick my fingers down his throat and to get it out but with him gagging was difficult and he ended up swollowing it, i was shaking so badly and i literally wanted to throw her agaisnt a friggen wall and i hate myself for having that feeling even entering my head cause i know she doenst understand and i cant belive i could even feel that way about my daughter i love her to peices but i was soooo angry and mad i had to take a deep breath and just walk her to her room and put her to bed. then after i put her in bed i come out pick mase up to give him cuddles and make sure he was ok and i here crash bang and went running in to find she had quietly goten out of bed and decided to climb on her chest of draws and it had fallen over, she is so bloody lucky it didnt fall and crush her! and her poor little face she was so terrified. this was all in the space of not even 3mins mind you! what a f*cking day, im such a big f-ing failure! WTF happened to me, i use to be such a good mum. argh days like this i wish DP was here another 3 loooooong weeks until he is home *sigh*
i sent you a pm well i am still writing it
Big hugs!!!!!!!

I have days like that with DS. Theyre horrible sad makes me think, how the hell am I going to deal with 2 of them!?!

I have no advice, but I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
xxxxx

Oh GBH!!

Have you thought about enrolling your DD in daycare for a few days a week? She may already go I'm not sure.

Your not a bad mum your just having a tough time, it must be really hard when your DP isn't there to help.

Have you thought about talking to someone about how your feeling?

I really do hope things start getting better, PM me if you ever want to talk.

Hugs & kisses smile
Double

Its all good hun... Im going through crap at the mo too. Big hugs to you. I hope its over soon.
:0)
Have you spoken to hubby about how you feel?
you poor thing!

Your not a bad mother..... I have no advice but just wanted to say that tomorrow is another day.

(hugs)

I just want you to know you're not alone!!!and you're not a crappy mum.
My DD1 is also very hard to handle and I feel like I am constantly yelling or telling her off.
She is 5 and I thought she was meant to have been out of the tantrum stage,but no she still carries on!I think some kids just have different personalitys and handle things differently.
Have you tried watching what she eats eg,sugar,artificial colours.I have read that this can make a big difference.
I also get to the point where I want to hurt my DD.Like the other day she screamed for 30 mins on the top her lungs because she could'nt get what she wanted.
Try not to feel to guilty and remember to take some time out every now and again.
I hope you feel better soon smile
Na she isnt in care i dont want to just parm her off cause im having difficulty dealing with her IYKWIM plus im a SAHM so feel as though its my responsibilty to have her home cause wont be long and she will be at scjool and il be back at work so want to enjoy the time if that makes sence but i know she would lo9ve it with the other kids to interact with. there is a 6month waiting list at the two centers near by that i want to send her to and i would feel bad taking up a spot when there are parents who are going back to work who need it. but i should really get her in atleast 1 or two days as i have nobody to give me a break as my family are all in sydney and DP family are in Adelaide and we are in perth and i dont know that many people and the people ive met have their own kids or work so cant really do much anyway. i get a break when dp is home every 1 in 3 weeks as he works 2wks on 1week home FIFO but this swing is the hardest as they asked him to do a 4/1week roster for the next 3swings at a new site that is opening and there is no phone reception which we didnt know until he was there. he left not friday just gone the friday before and ive spoken to him once on a satalite phone sad so when he gets home he will be tellin his boss to fly him back to his normal site its not worth the $4 extra an hr & if we had of know that there was no reception there is no way he would have gone! grrr
so thats probally also not helping as im so lonely and down of a night once kids are in bed and just cry & cry and i think having to do everything and keep on top of everything is also weighing on me which isnt helping.

also i think my milk is drying up or he is having a growth spurt or somthing as i have to top him up with formula cause i just dont have enough milk anymore which is getting me down to.

eyes are burning from crying so much LOL

I dont wantto tell my MCN or GP or any1 what im feeling as im ashamed i suppose and im just scared of what they will think/do. last thing i need is them going and calling DOCS or something cause i know im a good mum but im just not handling her behaviour very well atm and i know i can do better im so disapointed in myself.
I know how you feel and dont know how to deal with it. im sorry I have no advice sad I know its because of my newborn, he was an angel till shre arrived. Today he laid on top of her sad Nothing works for him, smacking, 123, naughty corner, bed taking his fav things away!
I read this and cried!! I felt like you were talking about me! I tell you right now you are NOT a bad mum you need to try to get little breaks for U throughout the day.

I have 3 children and my Daughter who is 5 has started school this year, My son who is 3 sounds EXACTLY the same as your bub! I hate going out with him cos i always feel im being labelled as a bad mum who cant control her child and he is always playing (but hurting) his baby sister who is 8 months. The one about the draws. HAD THAT. i felt like i was going to pass out.

you not having ur man around would be REALLY taking its toll the best thing for me is having a 3-4-5 minute break to calm and think of what to do. Honestly it does work. Put bub in cot or play pen so u know he is safe and u dont wary.

Its not nice or fun but your only like that for a very little time in the day or week or month please dont be hard on yourself grin

And i dont think anyone is judging u XXXXX HUGS XXXXXX
Ohhh hun I know exactly how you feel as I am in the exact same boat with a very trying 2 year old and a 10 month old bubba too!

My difference is tho the DH is around, but still some days she just drives me nuts and I don't know what to do.
I am back at work 2.5 days and I really do miss the days I am not at home with my girls, but then the days I am, I just don't know what to do with her. Not to mention that TT has now been thrown in the mix, because she has decided she is a big girl and doesn't want to wear nappies anymore.

I am also hearing you on the milk drying up, as the same thing happened to me and i ended up switching DD2 to formula at 4 months, in hindsight I wish I have of persisted a bit longer, but DD1 was just draining all my energy I think and I gave up too easily sad

I think this is just a wave we need to ride and things will get better, I know its hard to say that but I think unfortunately this is just one of the "stages" a toddler seems to go through.

Keep your chin up hun and pour yourself a glass of wine

*hugs*
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