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  5. My toddler hates his baby sister.

My toddler hates his baby sister. Rss

From the day they met, my son (25 months old) didn't want anything to do with his baby sister. My mum placed her into his lap at the hospital and he seemed unsure what to do. He has been around babies before and coped fine, he has been in daycare since he was 5 months old. When we brought the baby home he was okay till the first time she cried.
I think the fact that this small crying human has not only come into his life but has also come into his home, is scaring him a bit. With daycare at least he knows that at the end of the day he could come home to peace and quiet, but not anymore.
He isn't trying to hurt her but he is refusing to go near her. He is also having a lot of tantrums, especially if she is crying or getting attention. He will immediately ask for a cuddle, kiss or try to climb in my lap, or it will go the complete opposite. He will drop to the ground screaming, bashing his head on the floor, slapping himself, taking his clothes off and being generally naughty. We tried disciplining him, ignoring him, giving him the attention he wants, everything.
He is slowly getting better, we are involving him more in bub's life whether he likes it or not. We are making it a kind of game, he will help us make up the bottles of formula. We started by giving him an old baby bottle with some rice in it for him to shake, now he shakes the bottles of formula for me and he knows it's for her. He puts the bottles in the sink when she has finished feeding, he started by doing this with his own cups, bowls, plates etc. He knows all his body parts so we have pointed out to him that baby has eyes, ears, nose, feet, just like him.
He got so close to giving her a cuddle earlier, I don't think he knew he was doing it until he was almost there then he pulled away and went off to play. Oh well, he will get there when he is ready.
It's a massive adjustment for your son, be patient. Like you said he will come around in his own time. He's not used to sharing you! Is it possible for you to have one on one time with him, just to reassure his needs.
It truly is a new beginning for the whole family, when a new baby appears in the family. I felt being torn apart to a point when i was about to scream by my 2.5 year old' demands, when my second daughter was born(although i had a lot of family members around). Sibling rivalry is considered normal, although i believe there are things we can do to help our children adjust to the changes in the family more easily.

I've mentioned earlier in another post the remedies I use, but not sure how to quote that post. So, just going to copy it here:

"First, I found using homeopathics quite effective in situation when adjustment to change is needed. I used Arsenicum 6 c 3 times a day for a few weeks. "Arsenicum: Arsenicum helps the body to adjust to change, physical, emotional and psychic."(owen homeopathics web-site). There is an actual "adjust to change kit" you can get from them. They are extremely helpful. You can just ring them and ask if they have a retailer in nsw. If not, perhaps they can advise who you could see in your area. Arsenicum 6c should be available from most of the health shops.

I also use "Crisis relief drops" or "Bach Rescue remedy" every time my kids are upset and have trouble with their emotions. It is plant-based and very quickly helps to calm them down."

Well, also definitely start a tradition of a one-on-one dates with the older sibling. As when the younger one is around, it's almost impossible to do a one-on-one with them, especially as the little bubby starts being more active, crawling, walking etc.

Finally, at times when I felt overwhelmed, tired and not enjoying the motherhood anymore, I noticed that the tantrums would get a lot worse. So, taking care of yourself, possibly investing into massage/naturopathy/kinesiology sessions or even as simple as walks by yourself might also be a great idea.

Marina Bovykina
Author, Mother, Holistic Counsellor

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