Leah,QLD,5,nearly4 yr & a 17 mth old monster
I can only really say that your family and friends need to see if from your point of view....you need the money and surely it benefits everyone in that you can provide better for kids if you are working. As for the 'gap' what a load of crock. You dont say if the 4 yr old is at school but with two at the age that they wont be home all that long, i cant see how it will affect them. as for your youngest, maybe it will be a good thing that you are doing it while they are still young
let us know how you go with it all
I hope you start to feel better about going back to work. Don't feel guilty. And good luck!
Mother of 18 mnth old DD, NSW
Spending some time away from the kids is actually beneficial to all parties concerned.
It gets you out of the kids faces for a short while, it allows them to learn about other responsibilities that you have, and with the 4 and 16mth old, it helps them learn that they also need to respect the authority of the other adults that are caring for them.
The kids are out of your face for a while, the adult companionship that work provides is an avenue to talk about the challenges you face as a parent, and your children's development, in an environment where there might be other parents. Work stimulates your mind and helps your bank balance. Work gives you back your own (pre-parent) identity outside of being a parent.
All moms experience "Mother Guilt" when they go back to work, it's normal ... I still do, and I've been back at work now for over 3 yrs (my girl was about 10 mths old, she is now 4 yrs old). I work 3 days a week, and my girl and I have a wonderfully, strong, loving relationship. I bring her into my work every 6 - 9 mths, so that she can see where mummy works, and she is so proud to be sitting at my desk at work.
Your relationship with your children will not suffer for it, as long as you allocate time with them as well.
Turn a blind eye to what your friends and family say, you have to do what is best for your family ... they are not the ones who have to pay your bills.
my sister inlaw just returned back to work when baby was only 2 months old,
i have the joys of nanny for him 5days which can be very challangeling with a 14month old and 7 weeks preg with morning sickness, but its preparing me for my job ahead
due due financial problems like credit card and paying off there car they both had to return to work, its a shame that this has happened but the cost of living is too high for some people and need to be working.
so its a good thing for the future.
Although I am currently a stay at home mum since the birth of my second child I did go back to work after the birth of my first one for financial reasons. I also had feelings of guilt and mixed reactions from those around me. In particular I was concerned because my son was exceptionally close to me and I worried the effect it would have on him and me.
I have no regrets about the time my son has spent in daycare - it has given him great social skills and allowed him to mix with other children his own age that he otherwise wouldn't have been able to.
And as for our relationship we are as strong as ever. I think that as long as you make the time you do spend with your children count and let them know you love them then they will feel safe and secure in that knowledge.
I think you need to let your family and friends know this - and hopefully (as mine did) once they see the way you manage it that will come around in time.
Ultimately though you know in your heart that you need to do this and that you love your kids - and what you know is more important than what others think.
My friend is a school teacher and she is going back to work full time when her new born is 8 months. She has copped a lot from friends and family as well, but she is strong in ignoring them and explaining to them about her financial needs. You could ask the family about how they coped and if they did stay at home, then you could tell them that "times have changed and it would have been hard with one wage as well. Everyone is different." Also you could tell them that they need to show you proof of where it is written about the confusion in gaps. Take care and try not to let it upset you. I know people manipulate you and make you feel guilty but they just don't understand.
I am not a SAHM, and have no personal problems with those who are, but it is a personal desision. I struggled, but have found that my kids are actually better off wiht me working and that I am a better mother, and less stressed about finances too.
I could go on, but I need to go and prepare dinner, got people coming over for dinner tongiht.
3 under 3- 15 month gaps. Busy but loving it eìí?
Leah just remember that they a not in your shoes and they dont know how you feel and they are making it worse than it needs to be and good luck in the workforce and keep your head up and you a wonderful mum who loves her children.
Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09
Leah,QLD,5,nearly4 yr & a 17 mth old monster
She is now 3 and has no problems whatso ever with me leaving her to go somehwere and has the best social skills. overall a very happy and wellbehaved young lady......
So if going back to work makes you a bad mum then put me at the top of the list.............