Hi,
I have 21 month old twins and one of my girls, Taylah is turing into a total terror. She is hitting, kicking, pushing, biting, pinching, hair pulling and throwing everything and not just a few times she is doing it all the time. Mainly she is picking on her sister who is much more placid, but also me & her dad, her nana and other kids at child care. I am not sure what I can do about this. She gets more than her fair share of attention, play time etc. Telling her off hasn't helped, ingoring her doesn't seem to do much either and even the occasional smack hasn't had an impact, it just seems to make it all worse. I am worried that she will really hurt her sister or one of the smaller children at childcare (she bite one yesterday and it was her first day back).
Can anyone help?
Cassie

Hi Cassie,

I thought I was the only one!! I have 20mth old twin girls who I doubt will live to see their 2nd birthday..... Violet is a real biter but will only bite if provoked and Indigo is a real squeeler and teaser so together we have mayhem! I have tried not to intervene as sisters need to sort it out...but when they start literally pushing and biting each other what else can you do?? They have learnt to apologise to each other, at mum's insistence, and they both realise its wrong to do but it doesn't stop them. Like you I have tried ignoring them but Indigo will squeel loud enough to shatter glass if ignored!! I survive knowing that many mothers before me have dealt with twins and lived to tell the tale!!! Good luck!
Dianne

Hi Dianne,
lol I think Taylah will be lucky to make it to her second birthday as well. I have taught Taylah to appologies to her sister as well by giving cuddles but as you said they then get straight back into it. I read in another post on biting that a few mums have had success in stopping biters by putting a chilli flake on their tounge everytime they bite. I know it sounds horrible but I am gonna give it a go as a last resort to try and help with that problem.
Will see how it goes.
Cassie

Hi, I dont have twins ... but have u tried time outs? Whenever Jaida hits, pinches etc she goes straight to her room, and all her toys are removed (they're all in a toybox with i just take out the room), and the stays in there for about 2 minutes (as a general rule, they should be in time out for every year they are, eg 2yrs = 2 minutes). When the 2 minutes are up, I ask her to say sorry, if she says no ... another 2 minutes, so on and so forth. Even if you have to do it 50 times in a day, they get it pretty quickly.

JaidasMum24

I haven't got this problem with brianna too much but when she bites/piches me i use the same remedy my mum used on me and it seems to work. Bite her back!

I tell her that she is huting me and show her by lightly nipping or pinching her arm. Then i ask if she is sorry for doing it to me and if she is i apologise to her. I hardly have to have that conversation with her anymore so it worked.

Mum used to do that when my sister and i did it to each other and it worked quickly for her too. Just make sure The parents are the ones proving it and not the kids!

Hi Cassie,

Touch wood since I have posted my reply my girls haven't actually done any real serious damage to each other. Instead of physical abuse towards each other it has become more verbal. If Violet has something that Indigo wants it has become a screaming contest. Tell you the truth I don't know which is worse the screaming or the actual hitting??? I have tried time outs with both the girls and that does seem to have some impact. They hate the thought of being left in their room with the door shut. But then half hour later its like they have forgotton....and we start all over again. Besides that they really are good girls and sleep all night and eat heaps of food and love playing. Good luck with your girls
Dianne

Hi,
Just reading these brings it all back.
I remember my daughter and her little friend, everytime they would get togeather there would either be hitting ,biting ,or just total baalistics, they would go beserk screaming because one had this or that. It wasn't either that they didn't know how to share, as they saw each other nearly everyday and could be perfect angels sharing with each other.
We use to seperate them and take away whatever they would fight about and tuff none of them could have it.
If my daughter gets a little uncontrolable at home she goes to the corner, but not just sit in the corner. She gets put in her highchair(which now is getting a bit hard as she has worked out how to undo it) and gets put in a corner where all she can see is the wall. She has slowly learnt this is where she will stay if it keeps up.
I also use this tactic if she will not have her day sleep. She gets put in her highchair layed back, and for some reason a few mins later she's asleep.
Also not telling any of you what to do, but, apparently they say the bedroom should not be used for timeouts it should be another part of the house. Because apparently the bedroom should be a happy place to sleep, and not somewhere they associate with being bad. I don't know just something I heard.
Good luck everyone

Hiya
Well sure enough all sounds too familar!! I have a 2yr old son who's going on to 5yrs..lol!! driving me nuts. His kicking/pinching/hitting/yelling and screaming 'NO' to everything i tell him too. Ive tried to talk to him, but it doesn't seem to work, his always answering me back with 'NO NO NO... i could go mad:(

cont...
but will try some tips i've picked up frm here! Will keep u all posted, but if any suggerstions i'm all ears...

Hi Cassie
My little girl has and is going through this stage at the moment. I totally understand what you are going through.When she does this we tell her firmly NO and get her stroke the person where she hit while saying "See gentle. Hitting hurts.". We then get her to say sorry by giving a cuddle.
I dont think hitting her yourself will do much good though as you are just reinforcing the idea that you can hit if something you dont agree with happens. Doesnt make sence to say dont hit while hitting someone yourself.
Anyway, best of luck.
P.S Im sure the kids at daycare do their fair share also. Your child might hit one day and then be hit the next.

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the replies.

Taylah has been a lot better lately, although in between we have had a few time outs in the cot and when she has calmed down she has been allowed out again.

She is being really good, I think maybe it has gotten through to her, esspecially because she has been bitten a few times now at childcare.

lol although last night she did mount an biting, hair pulling, hitting attack on me as I tried to get her back in the pram after a shopping tantrum. Was funny really.

Cassie

Hi Cassie,

I know how you feel and I am looking for a solution also. I have 18 month old twin boys. Ethan has just starting biting Harrison, and for the last couple of weeks this has become a daily occurrence. At first Ethan would just chase Harrison around and take toys or treats off him, but now he is just constantly biting him for whatever he wants. I have also tried time out, showing him and explaining that it hurts his brother, ignoring Ethan, and a smack on the hand and nothing seems to be working. We also experience the hair pulling, hitting and pushing.

I have had a suggestion from a friend to put something horrible in his mouth as soon as he bites - like soap or mustard. I haven't tired this yet.

I would love any suggestions from others on how to rectify this.

I also have the problem of both boys throwing toys and climbing on tables and furniture - this is a real problem when we are visting friends. Any suggestions on how to stop this would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers
Kylie