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Head Banging Lock Rss

I have a 20 month old, Nicholas who has combined banging his head with the tantrums. He will either throw his body on the floor and bank his forehead, or do the reverse. He also stands against a wall and does the same thing. At one stage it was happening most of the day and I was constantly in tears to my husband as I was 8 months pregnant and had no energy, or the patience that he requires. We even went to our doctor as I felt I would not be able to cope with him continuing like this and with a newborn on the way.
I was told by a few people that he is probably feeling there will be changes, with the baby arriving soon, but it didn't care why he was doing it, I just wanted him to stop.
We tried ignoring, smacking, and yelling and he will still continue. Thankfully he has settled down a bit and doesn't bang as often, but he still does it a few times a day on a good day. The only thing that works is as soon as he bangs or throws himself on the floor ready to start banging, we yell loudly and suddenly "don't do it", or "don't bang your head" etc and it seems to shock him out of it.
I have been told by a million people that he will grow out of these tantrums etc, but some days I feel as if it is only my son that is doing this and there is either something wrong with him or our parenting etc.
I've just had a little girl, Annaliese, 6 weeks ago, so hopefully she will be a little more placid than Nicholas!!
BUT - I would never give him up for the world!!!!!!!!

If anyone has any suggestions or has dealt with the headbanging issues - please pass on your thoughts.

Jackie, Nicholas 5.5yrs, Annaliese, 4 yrs

Hi Jackie,

Your subject caught my attention. I have twin boys and the youngest is a "head banger" too. He bangs his head on the floor (carpet and tiles), on the wall, on his cot, on his brother, on mum and dad. I am worried about him hurting himself. We also yelled at him to stop and then tried to ignore it. I think he is just frustrated by something (what though??). I have also been told that they grow out of it and that the head is quite hard and head banging of this type is not dangerous and they soon work out that it hurts and then they stop. I used to think there was something wrong with my son, but in every other aspect he is great - hopefully something he will just grow out of. Hang in there.

PS Congratulations on the new baby.

Victoria ~ 3yr old beautiful twin boys

Hi Victoria

Thanks for the words of reassurance. I guess this sounds bad, but I'm kind of glad someone else is going through it and has been told the same thing that I have.
He is actually doing it quite often again, even in the middle of the night if he wakes up in his sleep or something - I just don't get it. If he hurts himself playing accidently, he will cry because he is hurt and then go to a wall and bang his head, as if to say "why me??". My husband and I are now to a point where we want to get some kind of help for this as I fear the day he bangs it a little to hard and really hurts himself, or worse.
I guess I will talk to my family doctor and take it from there as it is getting quite distressing to see him do this to himself every day.
If I do have any luck finding a solution, I will pass it on to you.

Thanks again


Jackie, Nicholas 5.5yrs, Annaliese, 4 yrs

My son is still doing it occasionally and I think he does it more when we give him attention. It is a real fine line between not wanting them to hurt themselves and trying to get them to stop. We also have a porta cot downstairs that we use to put the boys in when they are misbehaving - sort of like a "time out". When he head bangs alot we put him in there, it is soft so he cannot hurt himself and then he calms down and comes back out to play. Keep me up to date if you find another alternative. Be assured though that I am sure we are not the only two people on the planet that have "head bangers" for children.

Take care

Victoria ~ 3yr old beautiful twin boys

Hi Everyone,

My son (18mths)also was a head banger until quite recently.
Our pre school decided to try this method:
Everytime he head bangs walk straight up to him/her hold both his hans in yours wait until he looks you in the eye( getting down to their level is a good idea) and say firmly no, and do that every single time they do it . Supposedly they get sick of not being able to play as they are constantly being hels so they can't move.
I also found that as soon as he done it I say very firmly don't do that, and it seems to have worked, I only occasionly get him head banging.
I hope this helps

I spoke to my family doctor as well as searched through the internet for this topic and everyone said the same thing - ignore it.
It says to either move them to a soft area and allow them to continue banging their head, but do not give them any kind of attention whatsoever, so not stare at them, and busy yourself with something else to show that the behaviour does not faze you.
Well I have been doing this lately and the little smarty pants obviously thrives on the negative attention he receives when banging his head as I could see him from the corner of my eye watching me to see if I can see him banging etc and once he saw that I paid him no attention - walked off and started playing!
The doctors say that they have never had a child brought in with concussion etc from banging their head as the child knows how hard to bang and will not cause themself major pain.
Tash, I'm glad this method worked for your son, but I can't see myself stopping Nicholas this way as he throws his body on the floor and works himself up, so to pick him up and stand him in front of me requires alot of strength, and belive it or not when he is in this state, he is too strong for me!
Thanks again guys.... we'll see what happens

Jackie, Nicholas 5.5yrs, Annaliese, 4 yrs

I was so glad to read this as my son does it aswell. He will bang it on anything or get one of his plastic toys and bang his head with them. I to thought it wasn't normal until I read this. Must thank everyone who tells there stories as it reassures me that im not a bad mum.

mum to Jacob 22/3/04 Liam 5/2/05

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