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social skills Lock Rss

My daughter is 16 months and i have recently had thoughts that she doesnt have any social skills. I dont know many people with kids the same age. Those i do know, have jobs and have their kids in day care or other family with kids. I took Imogen to ready set play and she just stayed near me and wouldnt interact with the other kids.

I feel as though i have let her down. I wasnt that popular in school and i dont want the same for my little girl.

I have looking into joing a mothers group but they are full of 30 something mothers (no offense intended AT ALL) and i'm not even 20 yet.

Does anyone know how i can find friends for my 16 month old while not feeling excluded myself for being so young. I live in the wollongong NSW area.
With the playgroup thing - maybe ring the Playgroup Association of your state (or ask your CHN) about a young mum's playgroup. I'm sure there are playgroups organised that are set up for young mum's. Otherwise, maybe try any playgroup - the playgroup I attend currently has mums from the age of 19 to 40 so a fair range. Remember they are all mums and deal with a lot of the same issues.

Otherwise you could try some child oriented activities like swimming lessons, Kindygym (run at PCYC's), gymbaroo etc - that will get her used to seeing other kids around. Remember too that at 16 months old, toddlers tend to play singly or at best, side by side - they don't tend to play together until a little older (my boy is only just starting to play more cooperatively with other kids recently and he is 3.5).

James' Mum

I'd definatley hunt around for a play group or other kind of kids group like baby gym, swimming or music/dance classes. Even consider a day or two each week at kindy/creche/child care as that will do wonders for your little one. Maybe with that time you can do some-thing for you.

Even though you are 'young' (I can say that as I'm an old bat, nearly 31 - lol) your DD would get some-thing out of a play group, where you may not.

Check out the community section of this site as you may be able to form a little group from mums that chat on this site.

One last thing - you aren't letting your little one down as you are thinking about what to do to enhance her skills. You are being too hard on yourself.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

I have spoken to DDs day care (1 day/wk) about this issue and they call it parrallel play where the kids may play along side 1 another but dont really interact as play.

Honestly you shouldnt feel bad, kids can be shy and if she doesnt go regularly it can be very daunting. If it seems a good place (suited to her age) then try and go once a week for a few weeks and get in and play with her, once she feels comfortable and is exctied she will probably flit around going crazy.

I live in western sydney & i know there are specific young mums groups around, maybe you should ask your community nurse.

Sorry for raving on, but another option is to put her in day care, my DD started around that age and has loved it since the first visit (just 1 day) but she will be around other kids her age.

Leanne, Eliza Jade 17/1/05

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